Thoughts during a lecture
by Huma Ahmad (from New York)
As I stood there in front of the room lecturing on “The Soul’s Journey
After Death”, I could not help but think that what I was doing was futile.
Half of the people in that room were going to walk out with the same
beliefs as they came in with; that this was all something like a fairy
tale. The other half would listen, nod and go back out doing the same
things they were doing before.
There is something inherently wrong with our generation. I say this as
being one of them.
We listen to lectures on Islam like they are stories of old. We’re not
quite sure if Islam is completely correct. Because if we did, would we
continue doing the things we do? Where is our aqeedah? Where is our
certainty in truth? Where is our fundamental belief? For example, we’re
not quite sure what will happen after we die, but we’ll take the Islamic
explanation because it’s there. Why don’t we believe that what will happen
to us after we die is the truth? The truth is the way we should look at
it, like it is something that will definately occur, like any other fact
of life, any other undeniable scientific law or simple equation.
Some facts: We will be tested. We will die. Our soul will be taken. Our
soul will be placed back in our bodies and be questioned. We will undergo
punishment of the grave. We will be ressurrected. We will be asked. We
will be punished.
My soul questioned if any of this reached the 30 college age students in
front of me.
I decided to give two examples from my own experience. One a friend that I
grew up with and went to Islamic weekend school with. One day senior year
in high school, she just started getting sick. Just like that she became
so ill. She passed away a year later from ovarian cancer. We were 19. Can
you imagine? 19 years old. She was engaged and had just gotten married.
She was just one of us.
A second example; some of you might have known her, Basma. She was the
daughter of Imam Siraj Wahaj in New York City. She went to MYNA
conferences and camps with us. She was active. She was one of the best
Muslims I’ve ever met. One of those kinds of Muslims you meet and you
can’t stop smiling when you talk to them. She was pregnant and gave birth
on a Thursday I remember to a beautiful baby girl. A week later, just days
after, she didn’t feel right and went back into the hospital and died soon
after from internal bleeding. Unthinkable, the community of New York was
stunned. She was only 20 years old. She was gone and a beautiful baby girl
in her place. They named her Maryum.
These are examples I give that occured to me in my life. I’m sure no one
is immune and have felt the pain of loss in their own lives.
Can you imagine, I said to the 30 pairs of eyes staring at me, they were
19 and 20 years old. They were just like us. I’m sure they never thought
it would happen to them either.
I think every night before we go to sleep we should think about what we
did that day.
“I woke up, I went to school, I saw someone committing a sin. I discussed
it with others. Someone new was at the MSA meeting I didn’t bother to talk
to them or be friendly. I made a remark that I knew hurt someone. I missed
Asr because I didn’t want to be late for class.”
We need to think about these things. What if we don’t wake up the next
morning? Allah tells us that He takes the souls at night and keeps the
ones that aren’t to be returned. What if we don’t wake up? What if we are
hurtled to the next step; we wake up and our soul is being taken out of
our bodies, taken up to the heavens and taken back down into the body. We
are buried, the dirt slowly covering us. We are made to sit up, are
questioned. What will we say? We recieve punishment of the grave. We are
resurrected. We are asked about every single tiny small thing that we did.
What will we say? I wanted to forget the time I did this, the time I said
that. Countless countless sins before me. So many in just that past day
that I didn’t think about? What to do?
Allah gives us another chance when we wake up the next morning. Here is a
new day. You can now make up for what you did the day before. You can run
out and ask forgivness for all those you wronged. You can try to make up
for it, improve. Another bright beautiful day.
We need to stop being complacent. We are too comfortortable. What is wrong
with us that we live in delusion? We think about our lives and are
comfortable. “Oh I am doing enough. I’ll get to heaven eventually. I’m
Muslim that’s enough.” Why aren’t we scared? Why do we think we will go to
heaven? We are nothing compared to the people of past. We commit sin after
sin and our hearts feel nothing. What is wrong us that we do not feel
discomfort, pain when we commit a sin, before we do it, not even a twinge?
Sometimes Allah might send a hardship upon poeple to bring them to the
right way. Hardship brings many people back to Islam. Sometimes Allah
might keep people poor because He knows what would happen if they had
money. Shouldn’t we be scared? If we disobey Allah, He might send
something to teach us. Perhaps that would be better. Perhaps we should
pray that Allah send us something to remind us, to scare us.
I remind myself first, before anyone.
We need to wake up. We need to know that what is coming is true beyond any
doubt. We will die. We will be ressurrected. We will pay for each and
every sin we committed.
One day we won’t wake up the next morning, and oh the regret we will feel
on that day…the regret.