I have seen in most of the religious functions I attended in US that it clearly shows that we dont interact with muslims from other nations at all. These holy functions just seem to be a social functions representing only Pakistan in most cases. In the city where I live there are thousands of Iraqis, Iranis, Somalis, Bosnians and muslims from other nations but rarely see them whenever there is a major religious gathering. I have seen some of these nations have their own small mosques where we never go!
I prayed in a small mosque where black American muslims have a Islamic school. To my amazement I was the only South Asian there . Most people would rather drive to long distance than going there. And that was not a mosque of Nation of Islam! I have realized most of us dont even like to pray with them. I think we should interact with other muslim nations than making holy occasions as meena bazaars.
Degas
Thats quite a contrast. I have seen events like ISNA heavy on desis but in masjid's it has been quite different. the masjids I went to in Philly had people from all over, there were higher concentration of certain groups because of the type of area etc.
Even the masjid i go to now has a mix of people from all over.
However I have seen the same situation in smaller cities like Cleveland and Buffalo where diff groups go to diff masjids.
I have a different issue with interaction and that is that masjids do not serve as networking/social places at all which they should. rarely have I seen a discussion hosted by a masjid discussing community events, challenges, introducing new people etc.
For Jummah we just go in pray and leave, there is not much time for socializing, networking and getting to know people in general since ppl ahve to rush back for work. At times when I have moved to new cities I have tried to meet ppl through there, and it has had some success but its on one's own, not due to any effort by masjid to provide events for the people to meet and greet etc.
Degas, with all due respect, I don’t think there is anything such as "we don’t like to pray with them". IF there is such a thing, then there is some thing really wrong in what we are practicing.
We have a small mosque in a southern suburb of DC, I have known muslims from at least six different countries other than Pakistan, India and Bangladesh from that small masjid, and We don’t have a desi majority in this mosque as well. I think it has more to do with our own perception about others than anything religious.
After being the place of worship the masjids should serve as networking/social place, but the real problem is that the majority of namazi tend to come to masjids only on Friday and the rest of the seven days there is just a small group attending the salat there. For that small group the masjids serves as a networking and social place. So I think, that group can become larger if more of people started attending the slat more regularly.
As far as I have realized, there is bigger issue here, in desi community people come up with reasons, which are beyond understanding for not attending the salat in the masjid. Few of reasons are that they don’t like the imam or the khutba or some times the parking or even the way they are treated by the people in the mosque, where as all we (I) need is a reminder that slat is for Allah and Allah alone, and the rest of the issues are merely secondary.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MiniMe: *
After being the place of worship the masjids should serve as networking/social place, but the real problem is that the majority of namazi tend to come to masjids only on Friday and the rest of the seven days there is just a small group attending the salat there. For that small group the masjids serves as a networking and social place. So I think, that group can become larger if more of people started attending the slat more regularly.
[/QUOTE]
Even if that is sorted, the place I work and the place peopel live in are not always 5 minutes apart. If Masjids will serve as community centers then they have to take the lead in doing some of these things.
I had a hard enough time "donating" clothes and household stuff because it seems like no masjid is into community service in my area. We know that there are refugees as well as people in tough economic situations in my city let alone sending that stuff overseas. But I cant count the number of places that "only accept cash"
I know I am going off on a tangent here and maybe a new thread is needed for what we see as the different uses of a masjid and of a community center, what is being done where and how etc etc.
As far as not liking a particular masjid or an imam and going somewhere else for jummah. I have done that in the past. I would rather listen to enlighetned words of a real scholar rather than some idiot who is screaming in the mic ad nauseum.
Agreed with pir ji.
hmm, but on the other hand if you notice, a lot of us muslims aren't interested in such stuff anyway. I mean at our mosque we try to have classes, competitions, discussion group sort of things but the number of participants is usually too low. Less than 5% of the people are willing to participate in such events, let alone contribute towards them.
So what is one to do when the community itself doesn't want to be together?
and regarding community services, what kind of things are you talking about pir ji? and how do you think such things should be approached?
And while we are at at, I really need some input on this isseu as well, since social activities require space so what would be some social activites which are compatable with a masjid, and (e.g. if the masjid had a basement) for which we should plan.
***Originally posted by ammarr: *
Agreed with pir ji.
hmm, but on the other hand if you notice, a lot of us muslims aren't interested in such stuff anyway. I mean at our mosque we try to have classes, competitions, discussion group sort of things but the number of participants is usually too low. Less than 5% of the people are willing to participate in such events, let alone contribute towards them. **
Ammarr. I see this with three different issues. If you just offer something, will people attend?
1) you have to offer these events
2) You have to promote them
3) You have to do this long term.
I mean do figure out which programs are working and which are not, but they should be planned, regular and done a few times. I have seen cases where someone thorws together an event, does not do a good job publicizing it, the turnout is bad, and they just can the whole effort.
Additionally, masjid's need to be careful about when and how to ask for funding and when and where to preach. I dont socialize when the khutba is going on, so please dont get into preaching when people are trying to network or socialize.
If an event is done consistently, properly and people are made aware of it, there is a lot of pent up demand for this. Maybe its not the masjid who does it, but makes the property available for an event or works with people who go to that masjid to plan such events even if they are not hosted on the masjid's premises, due to size limitation etc.
*So what is one to do when the community itself doesn't want to be together? *
I think I just answered this, its not that community does not want to be together. There will be those who will not want to participate, but there are others who want to participate but have either been disappointed with on again off again half hearted efforts, or the manner in which it was done.
*and regarding community services, what kind of things are you talking about pir ji? and how do you think such things should be approached? *
There is a multitude of community services which can use the masjid as a launching pad. There are many among us who are not financially well off, there are refugees or recent immigrants that could use help ranging from household items, to helping them integrate with the society, help in finding jobs, helping them with an "orientation" to the city..minor things such as drivers licenses, translation etc etc can be an issue.
There are some masjids that do a marvelous job in these areas, and there are others that dont.
What about scholarships for kids in the area, or targetted fundraisers for specific events..and not just for masjid's own funding.
Last but not least, lets look at the bigger picture, masjid's can contribute to the locality that they are in, not only is it good PR, but people can see average muslims working together for greater good. Why not take part in adopt a highway program, hold regular events to interact with people and educate them about what islam, there has been a lot of interest in it lately.
When we think of community service, we think about our own community here, as well as needy people back in the countries from where we, our our parents came from. Lets not stop at that, lets also look at what we can do to contribute and improve in our neighbourhoods. Not only is it service but it is a good PR excercise as well.
I really think we should split this thread and have a topic which indicates that people are discussing what masjids can do in their communities. I am certain we can learn a lot from one another and maybe even be the champions of some of these programs in our own masajid.
Minime
Masjid sponsored events do not always need to be on-site. While there are many Masajid which have large facilities, there are many which are fairly small.
The size may limit what you can and can not do onsite. One masjid I went to in Toronto has a library, a huge rec-room for basketball, volleyball, badminton etc, and is used for meetings as well.
Maybe larger masajid can serve as centers of a wheel and teh smaller ones as spokes..so they can use facilities of the large masajid, and collaborate with other small masajid to plan more events together.
Just ideas.
I just got tired of listening to the Imam always being borderline anti-american, anti-jew, anti-west. When I tried to object and have a discussion I was told to shut up in no uncertain terms by the small crowd that frequents there more often than I do. So now I try to accompany my father on Fridays, and I notice that we leave as fast as we can. Sad but true. I have never asked him why he does not stay around. He and his friends prefer to hang around one of their house rather than the masjid.
Old lahori look for other masjids. The masjid I used to go to a few years back had a great Imam, later that project ended and I had to go to a diff masjid with a diff imaam, who although was not like the one you described, was still predictable and had the usual standard line.
When I changed jobs, one of the advantages was that the old masjid is 5 mins drive from my office and I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to the khutba and have always had though provoking and learning experience
I saw a real good article on this topic sent to me via email. I will post it here.
Is Your Masjid Muslim-Friendly?
By Altaf Husain
You have heard of user-friendly. This is usually the
phrase used to describe technology that makes the user feel at home,
helping him or her to navigate and make efficient and effective use of
technology. So what is a Muslim-friendly masjid? Well, I hope and pray that you are ready for a frank discussion about our masjids (mosques) in the U.S. If you are not, then you are in for a surprise. If you are…then you will at least accept what I am saying as a depiction of our sad
reality - whether you agree with me or not.
I rarely feel welcome at a masjid. People don't treat me poorly. No,
that's not what I mean. People don't stand at the door telling me I am
not welcome. No, that's not what I mean either. So why don't I feel
welcome at the masjid? Because, for the most part, the masjid in the U.S. is not a vibrant, lively place where I would love to spend my time.
Rather, it is this physical structure, too often held hostage by board
members who mistakenly treat it as a personal project (in the case of
policies or renovations), as a propaganda machine (in the case of a movement), or worse yet, as their personal property (in case they have donated large amounts of money or resources).
So, who suffers when this happens? The masjid-goers of course. When a masjid board or executive committee is too involved in administrative
and bureaucratic processes, the main mission of the masjid gets
neglected, if not completely ignored. Take for example various segments of our masjid-going population. How welcome do they feel at the masjid?
New Muslim-friendly Masjid
Perhaps the people who feel the least welcome at our masjids are those
who are new entrants into Islam. After undertaking a difficult
spiritual journey, unfortunately, most new Muslims cannot seek solace in our masjids. For most new Muslims, their only family is really those members of the masjid. They go there seeking Allah's company, knowledge, and new brothers and sisters in Islam. They have usually been attracted by the system of Islam that makes the religion a way of life. What they find is anything but systematic. Rather than being encouraged to learn and improve, they are often met with harsh, intolerant, dogmatic and cultural interpretations of Islam that they could do without.
So, who is to attend to the needs of the new Muslims? Which masjid has
a comprehensive support program for them? Who worries about them on 'Eid day? Too often, we have time to criticize and point out the mistakes of a new Muslim. Very rarely does a masjid's congregation take time to appreciate, nurture, and bond with our new Muslim brothers and sisters!
Senior Muslim-friendly Masjid
Imagine growing old as a Muslim in the U.S.! The seniors in our
community have either been in the U.S. for decades or are recent arrivals. Those who have just arrived as voluntary immigrants or refugees will need special attention if they cannot speak English. Those who have been here for some time can at least speak some English and make their way around the masjid. They can read the newsletter, if there is one; they can read flyers announcing future events; they can even listen to the lectures or presentations in English and get some benefit. But, do they really feel welcome? I doubt it. I know of very few who do. In fact, I am struggling to think of even two masjids in the U.S. that have programs and activities devoted to the seniors in our community. After all that they have contributed towards the development of our communities here in the U.S., you would think that a masjid would create a forum for the seniors to meet and pass their time, learn, or to teach the younger adults!
I worked with non-Muslim senior citizens for two years. One of my
duties was to develop and implement programs and activities for the seniors. They could not have been happier that someone cared for their
enrichment and welfare! The masjids should start devoting some of the same energy to the senior Muslims in our community.
Young Muslim-friendly Masjid
A story often repeated within the community concerns a teenage boy who barely used to go to the Masjid. One day, he went… wearing a gold
chain. He was told by an uncle in the masjid that he cannot pray while
wearing the gold chain. So…the boy obediently took off the chain. He prayed. And as he got up to leave, he put the chain back on. The uncle got upset and yanked the chain saying, "I told you not to put that chain on." He scratched the boy's neck in the process. The boy was obviously
confused. He had only been told that he could not pray while wearing the gold chain. He had complied. And now this uncle was upset and had hurt his neck. This sort of misguidance and subsequent confusion is all too familiar a phenomenon.
Most masjids claim to have a youth program. A young single brother or a newly married young man is recruited and told to manage the youth
program. This youth coordinator most likely has never taken classes or even learned about adolescence in a formal manner. And yet, he will shoulder the burden of managing the youth. What does he get in return? Little or no money is set aside to pay the coordinator. In most cases, it is a volunteer position, with board-mandated promises of great rewards in the hereafter. To date, no national organization has a full-time, paid,
youth coordinator. A few local organizations have such a paid-position but the person in that position is most likely untrained to deal with
youth. Even when this person plans future events, it is rarely in
consultation with the youth. And when the youth express their dissatisfaction, they are often made to feel guilty, and told that they are ungrateful and do not appreciate the blessings Allah (swt) has given them.
The result? Youth scarcely feel welcome. They are basically told that
they should be seen and not heard. Their talent, enthusiasm, and raw
energies are not appreciated in the masjid; nor does the masjid recruit
them to make meaningful contributions. It amuses me, sometimes, when young men with the most beautiful voices for adhan (call to prayer) are kept muffled, hidden, and hushed up while a board member or a close friend or relative of a board member struggles, with neither a good voice nor a good style, to give the adhan. If the adhan is supposed to invite or call people, it might make more sense to train our youth to use their beautiful voices for a meaningful purpose!
These days so many youth are excelling in public schools; giving
speeches; making daw'ah (invitations to Islam); being recognized for their talents; and being appreciated for who they are. Unfortunately, when they enter our masjids, they become sullen, morose creatures, who would rather be anywhere else but the masjid. They are not to blame. It is not their fault that we have built and continue to perpetuate the existence of non-Muslim friendly masjids.
Newlywed couples and Families
We also need to make the masjid much more inviting for young, newlywed couples as well as couples with very young children. Often, newlywed couples are sought out when there is work to be done. It is a good idea to recruit them and help them make good use of their free time. However, we tend to overload them to the extent that they end up feeling burnt-out. Some even stay away from the masjid for fear of being nominated for endless tasks with very little appreciation. Some end up having marital difficulties because either the husband or the wife is being tasked with more demands than they can bear! We need to change this culture so that newlywed couples feel more at home in the masjid. We should have programs that address the needs of some of these young couples. Premarital counseling, and counseling in general, are very much needed but scarcely available in most masjids.
Contrary to popular belief, counselors do need to be trained; being
knowledgeable in Qur'an and Hadith (teachings and sayings of the Prophet) does not in itself qualify an Imam to be a counselor. Perhaps masjids could arrange for retreats for these young couples so that the young men and women can improve in their roles as husbands, wives, and daughters and sons-in-law, and become contributing members of the community.
It is very difficult to imagine that despite the great emphasis in
Islam on family relations, how little time and energy is spent on creating
and sustaining programs that address family issues of daily living. If
the families cannot learn how to address issues they are facing in the
masjid, where else should they go? Why not introduce family camps? What about having more programs and activities that can facilitate better relations between the husband and wife and between parents and children?
It is quite commonplace nowadays to find single parent Muslim
households. Whether we accept the reality that divorce is on the rise or not, we have to help these types of families in their daily struggles. A single Muslim mother trying to raise 2 or 3 children by herself should not
have to bear the burden of providing for and educating her children alone. Some sort of mentoring program must be available so the boys and girls can be assigned young male and female mentors! Or consider a single Muslim man who has custody of his children; a similar mentoring program could truly benefit his children.
(cont'd)
A Final Thought
Islam is the fastest growing religion in the U.S. It is, or very soon
will be, the second largest religion in the U.S. More Muslims should
mean more masjids. But, more masjids that are not Muslim-friendly will
only exacerbate the situation and not help us at all. Each of us has a
responsibility to take an active role in the affairs of our masjid. We
should become involved and commit our time, energy and finances to ensure that the communal masjid is not held hostage by a chosen few. The ideas in this article need to be examined and developed further. We should demand that whoever is elected to head the masjid works tirelessly to ensure that it becomes more Muslim-friendly for our new Muslims, seniors, teenagers, college students, newlyweds and families. This should be our collective goal. And we should settle for nothing less!
Good article. Thank you for sharing. It expresses many thoughts and feelings I have had about the issue.