AT A RECENT BUSH MEETING WITH ASCHCROFT…
Attorney General John ASHCROFT recently met with President Bush to
share
details of his latest anti-terrorism measures, designed to prevent
attacks
on America while preserving freedom and human rights for all law-abiding
citizens and visitors who don’t look threateningly Muslim.
ASHCROFT: “Mr. President, you’ll be glad to know that the FBI database
has
been improved. It now holds a comprehensive list of groups and
individuals
that have given us trouble of any sort, including Al Qaeda. Al Jihad and
Al
Gore.”
BUSH: “Al Gore? He’s not a terrorist, is he?”
ASHCROFT: “Probably not, Mr. President. But the FBI tapped his phone
line
and heard him say he’s targeting the White House. We’ve been spying on
him
ever since he grew that beard.”
BUSH: “Good idea, John, The beard was mighty suspicious. Make sure you
let
me know if you spot him wearing a turban. That’s usually the next step.
It
would give us enough evidence to detain him.”
ASHCROFT: “Yes, Mr. President. We’re also starting a program to
fingerprint and photograph visitors from certain countries, particularly
the
Islamic countries.”
BUSH: “Good idea, John. And let’s not forget the Muslim countries
either.”
ASHCROFT: “Yes, Mr. President. We’ve trying to use a variety of
methods.
That’s why we’re reorganizing the CIA. It will now stand for Constant
Investigation of Arabs, We don’t want to put all our eggs in one
basket.”
BUSH: “That’s good, John Remember : money is no object . We can always
buy
more baskets. We’ll import them if we need to.”
ASHCROFT: "Uh … yes, sir, whatever you say. The ACLU claims we’re
being
discriminatory , but let’s face facts: One out of ten Arabs
hates
America . That doesn’t seem bad … until you realize that only one
Out of
50 hates Salman Rushdie . We need to look at the big picture. If Only
one
out of every 100,000 Arabs is a terrorist, that doesn’t seem like a
problem.
But if we allow a million of them to enter the country, we’re admitting
10
terrorists!"
BUSH: “That’s scary, John. But I have a solution: Let’s allow only
999,990
to enter.”
ASHCROFT: "Yes, but how do we know which 10 to leave out? "
BUSH: "Well, we can start with Louis Farrakhan . I never did like him.
"
ASHCROFT: “Uh … he’s African - American, sir. Would you like us to
detain him?”
BUSH: " Yes, John, for at least a few decades. I noticed you’ve
Detained
several other people who aren’t Arabs - and for a lot longer too."
ASHCROFT: “Yes, but they all have connections to the Arab world. For
example, we’ve detained a man named Levi Bara . If you take the first
letters of his name and move them to the end, what do you get? Evil
Arab.
Just a coincidence? I don’t think so. We’ve recently detained a woman
named
Greta Baily . If you rearrange the letters of her names, what do you
get?
Great Libya.”
BUSH: " Hmmm… You guys are really good, but isn’t it hard to keep
track of all these names?"
ASHCROFT: “Well, we’re analyzing names using computer software created
by
an Indian programmer named Prash Desai. We hired him because his name
you’ll
be glad to know… can be rearranged to form ‘Sharp Ideas.’”
BUSH: "Wonderful! It’s a good thing we’re draining India’s brains for
cheap labor. Remind me to tell that Pakistani president ..
whatshisname?
Mushroom Preserves? not to nuke them out of existence. Where else can
you
get that sort of talent?
Plus, they make a great baklava!
ASHCROFT: Mr. President ,I never knew India makes ski masks?
and so on and on…
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/wink.gif
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/wink.gif
Unka Jo Kaam hai Ahl-e-Siyasat Jaane,
Apna paigam muhabbat hai ,jahan tak pahuche