For some reason I don't think he was the sort of person who would take kindly to being challenged intellectually - for it would be possible to have someone equal in intellect but draw very different conclusions to his own. Ultimately he would need some sort of alignment with his reasoning from his mate and hence it is not about being intellectually comparable but about sharing similar values.
Thanks for your input. I agree with your points about tolerance and compassion being important in a marriage, even if they are tangential to the quote in question. We can conjecture all we want about what sort of woman Nietzsche would've wanted; his personal life was far from idyllic. But it would be a stretch to conclude that he was advocating "similar values" to the exclusion of mental compatibility when he said marriage is one long conversation. Even if he personally desired an acquiescent woman, it doesn't change what the quote means. He's not arguing about the single most important factor that makes a marriage successful, he's offering a truth about the nature of marriage. Stripped of all that's transitory - youth, sex, ambition, even beliefs - communication is all that's left. You'd think emphasizing a mental connection over a physical one would be a simple enough, if not popular concept to grasp, but I realize what people resist is usually what they fear, or what is unfortunately unattainable for them.
My point is, intellectual stimulation is a need which varies from person to person and your spouse is not the only one who can fulfil it. In fact there are disadvantages. Sometimes your spouse and you might have a fundamental difference of opinion and if neither of you will budge from your position then you go round and round in circles. The whole experience is far from intellectually stimulating. I’m talking from personal experience!!
Agreed, need varies. Obviously the dynamics change in an arranged marriage. You may go out of your way to not talk about certain things, for fear of offending your spouse or escalating conflict. Only problem is that's not a choice, it's a compulsion. Knowing how to 'argue' is an art in itself, and requires mental alignment and the maturity to agree to disagree respectfully. I'm with you, there's nothing stimulating about having fundamental differences of opinion with your spouse. It's like saying you love books and then marrying someone who loathes to read. What's the basis for the attraction then?
While it's true that you can look for that understanding, that click, in someone other than your spouse, this defies the point of marriage for many people. Some individuals can compartmentalize "mental soulmate" and "sexual partner." Others can't even if they tried.
Speaking of the '80's, a moment of silence for the Atari. RIP.
I dunno either. But I'm going to fight the temptation to talk about mental foreplay next - a reference to golf, of course - lest Demesne and her posse get all hot and bothered. Again.
I have an engineer friend and he’s misfit personified. In undergrad, if a girl walked into the library’s window-less basement where the engineering and physics majors hung out, she’d be greeted with a dozen deer-in-the-headlight stares. Socially inept as they may be, I love my fellow INTJs.
Incidentally, I've noticed couples with disparately unequal levels of intellect have a parent/child dynamic. Some people find this cute/romantic, I find it disturbing. Men who don't need conversation or a mental connection in their marriages don't consider their wives much more than sexual partners/emotional companions/mothers of their offspring. It says something about you if you don't need or want a mental equal in a spouse. Freud says whatever turns you on, as long as it's a mutual arrangement.
I don't disagree with what you're getting at here chaibiskut, being able to hold a conversation on an intellectual level is important in marriage (well it is to some and not so much to others).
But honestly, quoting Nietzsche to discuss marriage? Or even a relationship? And no, we weren't raised in the 90's because we couldn't recall a phrase from ONE song of SUCH A MUSICAL GENIUS, to the extent that not being able to recall it would strip us of the right to being able to claim "I was raised in the 90s". Oh and if you meant raised in the 90s in the US or Canada, yeah sure alright. MAYBE not being able to link "Intellectual Intercourse" to an Alanis song would seem like a crime (PPPFFFTTT), but if you look at your address bar it says PAKlinks. Believe it or not, Alanis wasn't being worshipped in 90's Pakistan. Please climb down from your throne of pretentiousness, you're really coming off as an intellectual wannabe. Not saying you're dumb, you just seem arrogant. I was raised in the 90's and the only songs of Alanis I've heard are what I hear on classic rock radio stations.
Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul. I'm sure you know who said that, a self centred degenerate who (very much like you) thought far too highly of himself.
In the wise words of @TheNoodle, Okay we get it. You've read Nietzsche.
CoughCough : "Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you? Because excuse me if somebody doesn't know the secret handshake with you."
Chaibiskut : "There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake."
I don't disagree with what you're getting at here chaibiskut, being able to hold a conversation on an intellectual level is important in marriage (well it is to some and not so much to others).
But honestly, quoting Nietzsche to discuss marriage? Or even a relationship? And no, we weren't raised in the 90's because we couldn't recall a phrase from ONE song of SUCH A MUSICAL GENIUS, to the extent that not being able to recall it would strip us of the right to being able to claim "I was raised in the 90s". Oh and if you meant raised in the 90s in the US or Canada, yeah sure alright. MAYBE not being able to link "Intellectual Intercourse" to an Alanis song would seem like a crime (PPPFFFTTT), but if you look at your address bar it says PAKlinks. Believe it or not, Alanis wasn't being worshipped in 90's Pakistan. Please climb down from your throne of pretentiousness, you're really coming off as an intellectual wannabe. Not saying you're dumb, you just seem arrogant. I was raised in the 90's and the only songs of Alanis I've heard are what I hear on classic rock radio stations.
Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul. I'm sure you know who said that,** a self centred degenerate who (very much like you)** thought far too highly of himself.
In the wise words of @TheNoodle , Okay we get it. You've read Nietzsche.
Can you please explain what does this IQ prerequisite of yours mean?
CoughCough : "Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you? Because excuse me if somebody doesn't know the secret handshake with you."
Chaibiskut : "There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake."
Incidentally, I've noticed couples with disparately unequal levels of intellect have a parent/child dynamic. Some people find this cute/romantic, I find it disturbing. Men who don't need conversation or a mental connection in their marriages don't consider their wives much more than sexual partners/emotional companions/mothers of their offspring. It says something about you if you don't need or want a mental equal in a spouse. Freud says whatever turns you on, as long as it's a mutual arrangement.
Jeez, just bcoz someone has spent a few bucks on buying a book or two of Freud, does not make their claims worth anything. Pseudo, keyboard relationship experts.
Incidentally, I've noticed couples with disparately unequal levels of intellect have a parent/child dynamic. Some people find this cute/romantic, I find it disturbing. Men who don't need conversation or a mental connection in their marriages don't consider their wives much more than sexual partners/emotional companions/mothers of their offspring. It says something about you if you don't need or want a mental equal in a spouse. Freud says whatever turns you on, as long as it's a mutual arrangement.
I don't think that's necessarily true, just becuase mental compatibility isn't a priority on the list...doesn't put their marriage into pedophile territory and that's pretty disrespectful to even hint at that.