Intellectual Intercourse

[chaibiskut]

Re: Intellectual Intercourse

@Demesne

The question here is not anything other than “intellectual intercourse.” Great if people are not willing to compromise on it. Their life. But how does one measure intellect anyway? I’m sure these people arent going around asking for IQ levels.

This is what we’ve been trying to tell you for the past 2 weeks. The title is a lyrical reference. Is this really how you think regular people mingle with others who are like-minded? Have you never clicked with anybody at a party, male or female, without asking them their IQ percentile? Really?

And there is no way in the world that you can ensure that if you are having a good conversation with a person now, he/she won’t change afterwards.

The fact that you think “good conversation” is like a changing fad for the seasons is the reason you’re still lost after 12 pages. What does good communication mean to you? Banter in the right ambience at a nice restaurant? Is that what you think it is? For that matter, how do you know your spouse won’t swing to either religious extremes or become an atheist - anything is possible right? How do you know you won’t fight over how to raise children? How do you know you’ll still care 20 years in? Does this knowledge have nothing to do with being mentally aligned? Actively knowing who your spouse is?

What matters most in holding a marriage together and yes, the happiness within a married couple, is the emotional commitment to see things through and to treat each other right. Everything else is a learned behaviour.

You can’t “learn” to have the same interests or the same belief or value system. You either have that common foundation to work with or you don’t. What is emotional commitment? The oxytocin produced during physical intimacy? You do realize people automatically create emotional bonds just by having sex - which is why prematurely sexual/emotional relationships collapse because there’s no substance to hold on to after the honeymoon period. Which is why otherwise incompatible people become entangled in emotionally dependent unions. Can a marriage thrive (not just survive) on just an emotional quotient? Why are you so averse to 2 people being rationally or non-sexually in tune with each other, I’m genuinely fascinated by your condescension towards anything “mental.”