Insight needed on this rishta/relationship

[sherazade]

Re: Insight needed on this rishta/relationship

@Paheli00

Thinking is not the same as knowing. The fact is that you really don’t know what discussions are going on in the guy’s family and what is preventing them from saying “yes” right now. Don’t allow your emotions to cloud your judgment.

You have spoken to this guy already for 4 months so both of you know each other well enough. The families have met. It looks like your family is willing to move forward to a official commitment. The hold-up is HIS family. For whatever reason, his parents are not ready to say “yes” at this point. My recommendation would be that you let the guy know that it’s best for both of you to stop communicating and getting attached emotionally further until his family provides a official answer. If and when his family says “yes”, you two can pick up where you left off. If they say “no”, the pain will be less if you have already stopped contact with him.

And as for being on “hold”, did the guy and you have a open discussion that both of you will not pursue other rishtas? How do you know for a fact that the guy and/or his parents are not pursuing other opportunities while you’re waiting?

Hey! Thank you for the response.

That’s the thing - me and the guy have never really had the whole ‘official’ commitment talk. The reason why he got his sister and mom involved so quickly was because they were actively looking for him. So prior to meeting him, I asked him if he was seeing other risthas during his trip to Pakistan, and he said no he wasn’t interested in looking around but hoped his parents would ‘consider’ me. Which they did, and things seemed to have gone really well when we met. But like you said, I do not know whether they are considering other risthas. They could be. But how will I ever know?

Although, I am not expecting an immediate yes, I am not feeling too good about continuing developing an attachment with a cloud over my head doubting whether this relationship is even going anywhere or not. As others have said, I personally think the guy himself does not know whether it is a yes or not - which is why he isn’t giving me any clear indications of whether this is going anywhere. Whereas yes, my family are ready for an official commitment and aren’t looking for other risthas for me yet - because we’re hoping this one will pan out.