I’ve come across some people in my life who have worked really hard and have sacrificed a lot on their way to achieve big financial success mA but a fraction of those are incredibly difficult to socialize with unless you let them walk all over you or be yourself in a higher socioeconomic status.
For example:
1- If a friend tells them they cannot attend their party because of being tired on weekends. They will throw a fit and start to compare how little their friend works and how absurd of an excuse that is. Even if they themselves make such excuses all the time. Basically they cannot take ‘no’ for an answer even if they say ‘no’ all the time.
2- Give lengthy lectures about self-serving etiquette and examples of their fake humbleness.
3- If a friend tells them about their new job, they will later refer to it as, “retarded new job”.
4- Having “no time” will be their excuse to 99% of complaints from friends such as: 1- Why didn’t you returned my call?
2- Why didn’t you replied to my text?
3- Why did you came empty handed to potluck/picnic/birthday?
4- Why are you constantly on the phone while we are hanging out?
5- Why do you flake on us all the time?
5- If someone in higher socioeconomic status comes along, they will act completely normal and incredibly polite.
I know most of you might be wondering how come such a jerk be called a “friend”. I agree. The twist is that the jerk has a huge fan following and some of those fans are my friends who always invite that jerk and insist on making every plan around that jerk’s schedule. These friends are good people but cannot help getting in a trance by the socioeconomic status of the jerk. My problem is that this jerk is ruining the cordial and relaxed atmosphere in which we used to hangout.
Have you guys ever found yourselves in a similar social setup? How did you cope?
wonder why other people in your social circle not noticed the same thing? and if they did then you should know that to work with them making him realise his flaws.
I used to wonder if other people don’t see what I do. Most do, yet they are so happy just to hangout with him that they embrace it all. I tried to vent out my feelings to some of my friends but quickly realized they are all in a race to win this guy’s blessings. This guy knows very well how he is but he has no incentive to make a change.
There is always this option that I stop hanging out with this entire group but I don’t want to sacrifice the good company of rest of the folks.
I had a couple of friends like this. One was what you would call a social climber…she only surrounded herself with people whom she could use to build her business. I found her drive admirable but her lack of substance…too tiring. She lied about things all the time, put herself on a pedestal constantly and would fish for compliments all night long.
Eventually, the more genuine people outgrew her. She now has exactly what she wants…loads of money and the type of friends she can use.
I don’t particularly care much…I think to each their own as long as you don’t affect my life. I distanced myself over the course of time. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I’m more upset at my friends who are so mesmerized by the jerk’s status that they don’t even make a whiff of descent. It’s so hard to find Pakistanis in my age group/demographic around here and I love to hangout with these folks except for their sneaky behaviour around that jerk.
Thank you everyone. Incredibly helpful advice. I have couple of other friend circles, almost isolated from this one. I will definitely put in more effort now on other friends rather than on those who are blindly after that jerk.
As the saying goes, “an Acorn cannot grow in the shade of a mighty oak”. I always keep my distance and want my friends to understand this too but one can do only so much.
There are tons of people here like that in the U.S. city I live. People don’t see it as a problem at all. They gloat that they are friends with people in high places. Yes, the ones who are not friends with these so called rich people complain about them. The others take all insults in their stride because they want to network with them for a myriad of reasons.