Kids personalities comes in all types and one of them is which most Pakistani parents called “shararti”. The one who would steal the other kids toy in front of him or behind his back, would hit someone, an animal or another kid, sneaky or openly, will be quick to throw tantrums when he doesn’t get his way etc.
I don’t consider such behavior alarming cos kids get influenced by a lot as they grow up and not always turn out to be what they seem to be as kids but I do get a little annoyed when parents ‘like’ that in their kids. When they think is a good thing that he is aggressive and gets his way with others.
Recently I had to confront a parent who would let his 6 year old boy throw rocks at a stray cat. His father’s view was ‘kids will be kids’. (BTW, his father is a very gentle mellow guy)
How do you handle if your own kid is that way? Imagine a 3 year old snatching toys from other 3 year olds. I have often seen parents just stand by and watch. And when does it become a worrisome sign? Maybe when they start burning ants with a magnifying glass?
over time I have learned that best way to get out of situation (such as kid throwing stone at car or snatching toys from other kid) is to divert kids attention and get him busy in some other instant activity.
90% of the time this works without any shouting and fuss for us.
My wife use this technique specially when she is driving as she get distracted by kids shouting and fighting in the back seat. Her tried and tested trick in such situation is to get kids read sign boards and explain what it mean etc etc.
over time I have learned that best way to get out of situation (such as kid throwing stone at car or snatching toys from other kid) is to divert kids attention and get him busy in some other instant activity.
90% of the time this works without any shouting and fuss for us.
Diversion helps but that doesnt makes them understand what they are doing is wrong. I always have a chat with my kiddo after any such incident when he has calmed down about what is acceptable and what is not and why it is not acceptable. Such as you always have to ask the other kid if you can play with the car not just snatch it away as snatching will hurt his feelings and will show disrespect. I know it is hard but if you keep repeating such things they do get it. Many times i have seen that it is us the parents who turn these mischevious activities into delibrately bad ones. they are kids, they are just learning, for example i have seen many times that parents try to console the child when somebody doesnt share a toy with him by saying oh the toy is not good and the kid is a ganda bacha we dont playw ith such kids. Just think what type of message we are sending to the little brains.
Diversion helps but that doesnt makes them understand what they are doing is wrong. I always have a chat with my kiddo after any such incident when he has calmed down about what is acceptable and what is not and why it is not acceptable. Such as you always have to ask the other kid if you can play with the car not just snatch it away as snatching will hurt his feelings and will show disrespect. I know it is hard but if you keep repeating such things they do get it. Many times i have seen that it is us the parents who turn these mischevious activities into delibrately bad ones. they are kids, they are just learning, for example i have seen many times that parents try to console the child when somebody doesnt share a toy with him by saying oh the toy is not good and the kid is a ganda bacha we dont playw ith such kids. Just think what type of message we are sending to the little brains.
Diversion is just to solve/deal-wtih the issue right there of course a talk is needed later on but it diversion help avoiding scene creation.
To me, a shararti kid is the one that spills whole dried chickpeas all over the kitchen floor and 'roller-skates'.
If a kid is snatching toys/being harmful...that's just wrong/bad. Parents should be able to tell the difference, and discipline or explain to their kids.
Snatching toys is common and usually a reflex as their brains are developing. Kids tend to start sharing & know boundaries as far as toys are concerned when they get to elementary school.
The 'mean spirited' shararat, like breaking something (their own toy) or being cruel to animals is what usually concerns me.
I have seen really sharati kids. Trouble just follows them. My cousin use to have phoppho in tears. One day he dumped a rice bag in his sand box. He slid a cheese in the VCR and it melted. He flushed his lego pieces in toilet. The ones I have seen have grown out of it.
But cruelty to animals is not considered a "shararat" in my books. It's is disturbing behavior.