^LOL.
I heard a guy's mother walking out of this household, where she went to "see" the prospective bahu, only because the girl's mother didn't have a light complexion. She didn't even wait to meet the girl and reasoned that even if girl is "gori", her kids can look like her nani.
What was this woman's own complexion like, if you know?
^ You are right. I should have worded it better. Here's another take-- Many desis make ridiculous and disgusting remarks when it comes to a prospective/current DIL. The focus is on looks, wealth, and status when it should be on respect, values, education, morals, religious upbringing...
P.S. Visit "Life and Relationships" threads for examples of ridiculous and disgusting behavior displayed by desis during rishtas.
And I forgot to add...what was the fiance thinking when he said 'mama will be upset'????
Please keep in mind the hadith:P rophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) in choosing a wife said: "A woman is married for four reasons; her wealth,her family (lineage), her beauty and her faith. So, marry the one who is religious and you will prosper." Saheeh al-Bukharee vol.9 no. 132.
What was this woman's own complexion like, if you know?
No, I would not know that but I'm sure she was no Nicole Kidman in looks. The fact that her son studied in "Inglaand" gave her all the more reasons to act like a jerk.
Re: Inlaws are about to come to give "bari" &....
Oh man, some of these MILs are just horrible. Allah na karey we ever turn out like them!
To the OP...........go to your mall and just get yourself a good concealor...thick and matching your skin tone. Apply with a brush and you'll be good to go!
Like everyone above said get a concealor which mathces with your skin tone ....... and even if she notices it just say that it was a pimple gone bad (i think there is no harm in lying when u r faced with people like that !)
And it's not your fault to have some medical condition like that anyone can get it , even you MIL !!!! All these things are from Allah ......who wants to get into any medical complication !!! It's ridiculous .........if God forbid your fiance was in your shoes how would u and ur family had reacted ??? Just dont take tension enjoy your shaadi .....May Allah give your health and solve all your problems ....:)
OMG to all the people who’re even not being helpful, some of the replies made me really more upset (don’t want to mention). well i just quoted Sara, as she’s absolutely right.. my mother inlaw is a fairy, she’s sooooooo much loving and caring and she cares about me a lot Alhamdulillah and that is the only reason I personally don’t want her to know and worry right now in these happy moments like i’m already!! khudanakhuasta if any of you find yourself with it 2maro what will you do? I asked what should i use to cover it, you guys should only stick to that and not start talking about horrible MILs, desis are more “badnaam” than they actually are. American are even worse than any typical desi in a lot of things and we just ignore it and highlight what desis are doing.. and my fiance said that because when we (me, my fiance and my mom) went to the dr. 1st to know what’s that basically.. and dr. told us that its vitiligo, i was crying throughout the driving back to home and my fiance (just because he doesn’t want me to feel conscious infront of anyone) said we’ll tell them later forget about it! I know my mistake i shouldn’t be writing that my MIL will be upset to know right now (without details) I’m sorry about that.
2ndly, I’m on medications already… but i’ve to do a lot of parhez!!! its painful to have something like this right before the marriage time which i’ve dreamt to make my best time ever is now spending on shedding tears, ofcourse i’m worried about what if they spread khudanakhuasta!
3rdly, it is auto-immune disorder (for those who doesn’t know about it and might be thinking it has anything to do with the health) it can be due to hypertension, excessive stress, depression and can lead you to these after you’re diagnosed with it. the immune system starts to kill the melanocytes (pigment producing cells) and as a result you are left out with “depigmentation” drs couldn’t find the actual cause why does it happen, and it is curable now via “phototherapy”.. i’ve not started it as yet, as i’ll have to visit the hospital 3 times a week and as my wedding is right after Eid, there are chances i might BREAK the course! so InshaALLAH i’ll start the treatment right after my wedding 
thankyou all for showing the concern anyway, sorry if i said anything to hurt anyone as may be you guys can understand how it is to be stressed out not only to leave the home you brought up in but about a disease which some people say has no cure for!
Re: Inlaws are about to come to give “bari” &…
DESI THIS DESI THAT OH DESIS DESI DESI DESI OH SCHMUCK … DESI DESI … DESI EWWW … DESI BLAH .. DESI .. ACHOOO!!! BLESS ME … DESI YUCK … EWWW DESI … EWWW
“OYEEEEE CHUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP OOOYYYEEEEEEEE!!!”
UGH DESI DESI DESI DESI DESI
where are your roots/parents from? pluto?
let me make a generalized statement!
ALL ABCDS/BBCDS/XYCDS WHO THINKS DESIS ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY CONNECTED TO HORRIBLE PEOPLE AND DONT KNOW ANY BETTER!
OMG to all the people who're even not being helpful, some of the replies made me really more upset (don't want to mention). well i just quoted Sara, as she's absolutely right.. my mother inlaw is a fairy, she's sooooooo much loving and caring and she cares about me a lot Alhamdulillah and that is the only reason I personally don't want her to know and worry right now in these happy moments like i'm already!! khudanakhuasta if any of you find yourself with it 2maro what will you do? I asked what should i use to cover it, you guys should only stick to that and not start talking about horrible MILs, desis are more "badnaam" than they actually are. American are even worse than any typical desi in a lot of things and we just ignore it and highlight what desis are doing.. and my fiance said that because when we (me, my fiance and my mom) went to the dr. 1st to know what's that basically.. and dr. told us that its vitiligo, i was crying throughout the driving back to home and my fiance (just because he doesn't want me to feel conscious infront of anyone) said we'll tell them later forget about it! I know my mistake i shouldn't be writing that my MIL will be upset to know right now (without details) I'm sorry about that.
2ndly, I'm on medications already... but i've to do a lot of parhez!!! its painful to have something like this right before the marriage time which i've dreamt to make my best time ever is now spending on shedding tears, ofcourse i'm worried about what if they spread khudanakhuasta!
3rdly, it is auto-immune disorder (for those who doesn't know about it and might be thinking it has anything to do with the health) it can be due to hypertension, excessive stress, depression and can lead you to these after you're diagnosed with it. the immune system starts to kill the melanocytes (pigment producing cells) and as a result you are left out with "depigmentation" drs couldn't find the actual cause why does it happen, and it is curable now via "phototherapy".. i've not started it as yet, as i'll have to visit the hospital 3 times a week and as my wedding is right after Eid, there are chances i might BREAK the course! so InshaALLAH i'll start the treatment right after my wedding :)
thankyou all for showing the concern anyway, sorry if i said anything to hurt anyone as may be you guys can understand how it is to be stressed out not only to leave the home you brought up in but about a disease which some people say has no cure for!
clap clap clap
Re: Inlaws are about to come to give "bari" &....
sabi_13 I'm truly glad to hear that your MIL is caring and would be genuinely concerned for your well being. I hope the medication is effective and taht you get to enjoy this special time to the fullest! Good luck.
farrah, people are conditioned by their experiences in life. So yes, many of us have come accross (directly or indirectly) MILs who are evil. I am a desi, a proud one too, but at the same time, I do face the faults in my fellow desis and am not hesitatnt to point them out.
i love this one! one more thing: the term desi is used for all those pakistani/Indian/Bangaldeshi/Srilankan origin ppl. who r living amongst foreigners in a foreign land and despite having a passport viewed as 2nd grade citizens in the 1st world countries. INterestingly they all come back to their respective countries in search of a suitable match…ironic and hypocritical! in course of my limited interaction with them, i find them highly confused,insecure & groping for identity.
As I said earlier, I am speaking with my very own observation. It may be that I am only unfortunate to have seen such a lot of people like the one I mentioned earlier that has my perception of Desis, Pakistanis to be more specific, has been changed completely. I cannot remain in denial after seeing, reading, and hearing about so many horror stories of rejections and the way guy’s family treat prospective bahu and her family.
Yes, I know I am generalizing because ALLAHUMDULILLAH my immediate family members are not even remotely like those evil ones (I’m not saying this because it’s family but because this is the fact and probably this is why I find it so difficult to take others vicious actions in when it comes to rishta). Are there any Pakistani families left who see beyond the color of the skin and greek goddess look and look for morals, family and personal values, education, and upbringing? OF COURSE! But, unfortunately, such families are much less in number than the ones with vile mind.
For the OP, I never intended to scare you. Vitiligo or basically any other illness is not something you inflicted upon you. Don’t be scared or nervous. For now, as suggested, cover it up with concealer and don’t wait too much to see a good dermatologist if you haven’t done it already.
Good luck and God bless!
Re: Inlaws are about to come to give "bari" &....
Then i wonder why some really good looking girls dont get married?!?!
Some people prefer good looking girls ... some prefer a financially stable family ... and soome are greedy enough to want both ...
weird people exist everywhere ... and the weirdness is a cultural baggage! pakistan has weird people according to the society and mentality there ... UK has weirdoes with their own kind of non-sense ... USA with it's own ...
so what's up with all this name-calling? Desis, freshies?!?!
i had no concept of this inter-pakistani cold war till i joined this forum! and i am disgusted ...
as for the ratio of good vs bad ... hello!!!! besides MILs looking for greek-goddesses ... i think bad has taken over good in a lot more and many ways!
Re: Inlaws are about to come to give "bari" &....
^ Where I've grown up, 'desis' is not a derogatory term and neither was it used in that context. I wouldn't put it in the same category is 'freshies', but that's just my opion.
Adn about the "inter-pakistani cold war"----peeple are simply giving their opinions based on THEIR experiences. It's a public forum, that's the purpose.
Re: Inlaws are about to come to give "bari" &....
lol i love how all threads go off topic at one point or another
^ Where I've grown up, 'desis' is not a derogatory term and neither was it used in that context. I wouldn't put it in the same category is 'freshies', but that's just my opion. Adn about the "inter-pakistani cold war"----peeple are simply giving their opinions based on THEIR experiences. It's a public forum, that's the purpose.
then those EXPERIENCES should not be stereotyped on a public forum:).