If the guy isn’t asking questions and you’re carrying the conversation, time to move on. I think this applies both ways.
Re: Initial stages-questions
you mean a phone conversation as a normal convo. What exactly is sensed by a guy on the phone? If a life decision is based on one phone conversation and I end up being nervous...
It's like all are in different states so an in person meeting is not possible.
I'll try some of those suggestions PCG....thanks
Facetime and Skype are far better than old style phone, you can see the fake smiles now and tell right off if they are lying thru their teeth :)
OP, finding a partner is not that easy and takes a lot of time. Takes even longer when looking on matrimonial sites. Why?
Firstly its hard to find a partner online because your decision is based on a checklist what you think is an acceptable life partner. This isnt a great way to approach the situation because you have demands. The other side has demands too. Most of the issues you find in marriage are dealt through compromise between the man and woman. Its hard to get the ball rolling when both sides have demands they feel need to be met.
Secondly just like in real life, it is a numbers game. Unlike most other cultural norms, in the rishta environment its fair to say that the guy's side has supply-demand advantage, and yes it can get to their heads. Guys dont need to spend too much energy on a particular girl because theres are more girls.
Furthermore, and this kinda relates to my first point, before you ask questions that relate to marriage, its important to get to know the person.
Its much much morw likely you will fall for someone and they for you, if you have a conversation with someone.
Im sure you can find a nice guy or two to talk to on gs who can become a friend and maybe more ;) Its happened before!
Re: Initial stages-questions
Facetime and Skype are far better than old style phone, you can see the fake smiles now and tell right off if they are lying thru their teeth :)
But a lot of girls won't be up for that..
Re: Initial stages-questions
But a lot of girls won't be up for that..
That is a girls prerogative if she does not want to! so in that case they are left with looking for rishtas within places close to their residence or within people they know or grew up with.
Re: Initial stages-questions
FaceTime ? I don't use that even for family. It's awkward. Best to chat a few times or even 1-2 times then meet
Re: Initial stages-questions
I actually suggested the Skyping/video chatting and we'll see how it goes. He's a doctor and he says he spent most of his life in education, being shy, immaturity in the beginning so that's why he waited to get married since most desi men get married so quickly. I'm just wondering why a never married desi doctor was never snatched up by desi families for their daughter. Skyping will keep it practical and far from emotional. I want to stay realistic since i've been disappointed before quite a few times.
I already messaged with him for a few days now.
I guess meeting in person puts a lot of pressure to accept I think since he would be driving 3 hours just to meet up and drive another 3 hours back. So the Skype thing seems right.
Re: Initial stages-questions
Okay forget skype with doctor man. He's so busy!!! They have to work all the time and devote their lives to their patients. I'm tired of messaging him everytime to know more about him. It's like i'm taking up his time if I want to talk. I mean if he wants to talk he can call or message me when he has time to even think about me. I feel like becoming a nun, forget men, I have no luck with you all. Marriage isn't really all that. I'm happy alone and I have everything I need and love.
Re: Initial stages-questions
lol even surgeon on call can take time to Skype if they want to. Sure they are busy but we they go to the bathroom don't they? These are all excuses
Re: Initial stages-questions
lol even surgeon on call can take time to Skype if they want to. Sure they are busy but we they go to the bathroom don't they? These are all excuses
True. He turned out to be yet another Dud squared. He lost out on an awesome gal!!
Re: Initial stages-questions
Doctors are on their phones all the time now. If not Skype (that is honestly expecting a lot from a tired surgeon) but the guy can definitely throw you a bone with some text messages
Re: Initial stages-questions
Doctors are on their phones all the time now. If not Skype (that is honestly expecting a lot from a tired surgeon) but the guy can definitely throw you a bone with some text messages
He wasn't a surgeon. Been a Radiologist for so many years, he started on his own radiology business this year and is trying to make it a success so I guess most of his time goes into that. He sends me messages in response to my messages but he never starts a conversation like if I don't message him for a day, it's not like he messages me asking how I am. So i'm putting mr. busy in the past......bu-bye mr. busy. Deleted his number for good. I'm glad I didn't see him in person, would've been a major waste of time.
I think I know now why women never gave him a chance in the past, he never makes time to get to know them. Eventually women will get tired of waiting for him to get excited when he doesn't seem excited himself.
Actually he did agree to meet in person, he was fine driving the 3 hours but even then he wasn't so excited when it came to messaging.
I'll see if he misses me, won't message him.
Looking at some of these marriage threads, makes me want to wait for someone really wonderful, someone that won't make me regret marrying them.
Re: Initial stages-questions
Then he is super busy and super tired. I wouldn't give up. Id arrange a date and time for a meetup and then go from there. Or point out to him that you must be just exercising your fingers with the texting and see what he says. Sometimes the duffers don't realize they have no game.
All my colleagues were like that - totally dense. I had to explain to them what they need to do to show "effort".
He probably has studied his whole life and doesn't know how to be normal with people. He is a radiologist so even on the doctor spectrum he is low in social skills.
I'm not surprised he doesn't initiate conversations. Just meet him and then you'll get a better feel for interest
Re: Initial stages-questions
Then he is super busy and super tired. I wouldn't give up. Id arrange a date and time for a meetup and then go from there. Or point out to him that you must be just exercising your fingers with the texting and see what he says. Sometimes the duffers don't realize they have no game.
All my colleagues were like that - totally dense. I had to explain to them what they need to do to show "effort".
He probably has studied his whole life and doesn't know how to be normal with people. He is a radiologist so even on the doctor spectrum he is low in social skills.
I'm not surprised he doesn't initiate conversations. Just meet him and then you'll get a better feel for interest
He's not interested and our personalities don't match. Looking at it now, I wish I did not see it this way but the dude was really full of himself and very self absorbed and as much as a doctor as he was, when I asked him why he became a doctor, he just became one because his father was one and it seemed like it's just the money that he cared about. No judgment.