others being insensitive is clear to you at various levels.
you are the giving one, and others are only for taking.
your burn out and disappointment from these people is obvious, too.
with that, how do you reason your way away?
share your thoughts, if you like.
best,
Dushwari
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
simple don't give with an expectation of gratefulness, just keep giving the best of you and you will be rewarded well.
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
Well for one ..i try to think that if i am giving something to someone ,..it is a blessing on me because i could have been on the other end,,,,
Also thinking that what ever i have .. time health money etc.. can be taken from me at any instance so why act like it 'own' it.. makes me far less gluttonous..
I come out straight and say no when I feel that I have done more than my part .. and still there is zero appreciation and more negativeness from the other side..
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
good points hin33 and k khan.
it isnot about giving that is a problem. it is about the receiver being without regard what so ever, not regard like in being expected to be obligatory.
but regard in being simply kind and nice.
the only time when a hand must be held back is when the giving is expected more and more. and the person/s at the receiving end assume a sense of entitlement to unearned easy help for being not self sufficient.
monetary assistance or maintenance of anyone, who is lazy and uncaring is a disservice by it self to that person.
since, tomorrow or today, if the giving hand was to be stopped for some own reason, the receiver will be helpless since that person neve learnt to provide for own self.
being old and frail is understandable that they need to be provided for, helped and looked after.
but being young, having potential to use own mind to learn some skill that can lead to earning for oneself through work, in case of an otherwise able bodied person who is still not working is not right.
and then one of the problems is over population. more mouths to feed in meagre situation causes more muflisee and more closed minded thinking.
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
I agree with K khan, give without any expectation of gratefulness from teh otherside,
I have done alot for other peopl, i was always dissapointed not so much that they didnt give in return but that when i was in need foeget helping me in anyway or giving even moreal support, they didnt even phone no salaam dua nuthing, i was absoluetly sickened by this.
BUt its true if you give and do things for people, then to avoid any hurt or dissapointment the best thing 2 do is not to expect ANYTHING in return
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
it is ignorance, tweety_bird.
there is no way around it, unless people who engage in being ingrate, themselves realize this. that their afront behavior is just another proof of them being so needy.
i agree with the no expectation rule. i think maybe my thread's focus is not clear.
what i mean is this: people must be able to realize that give and take has ethics of being civil.
true regard and care cannot be priced according to endless giving and ingrate taking.
its when people who are given something, take that for granted, that's when it is a very disappointing thing to witness.
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
i think a closure is very important. having the last say works well for me. if i feel like i am constantly being taken advantage of, i put my foot down and say, you know what, this is it.
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
shay9164, yes, the closure can actually be good for the person who is not able to realize that.
having to hear a last word of explanation in person is what is better to enable the other person from feeling rndlessly guilty for being ingrate.
also, care for each other develops only when people are able to acknowdlege each others' nice actions and caring sensitivities.
best,
Dushwari
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
hmm this is a very sad and harsh reality that has happened within my family
so what if those ungrateful people are people within your family who you or your parents care about but they continue to have this ungrateful attitude and put up a fake personality infront of you??!
Re: ingrateful people and your way to part from them
Though I understand that it is always better to keep giving & not expecting anything in return BUT your "Giving" should NOT be taken for granted. Better give (and not expect in return) to someone who deserves your "Giving" than to anyone who might consider you a fool who can be "USED".
Someone who deserve = Who sincerely values your giving, wishes to return you equally but is unable to do so due to any reason not in his/her control.
p.s. By consistantly giving to non deserving we are in a way violating the rights of someone who deserves our attention, efforts and time.