What constitutes Infidelity in your opinion?
A husband/wife having sexual relations with someone else other than the spouse after marriage is infidelity, or even loving someone else other than the spouse after marriage constitues infidelity?
I mean, does even having feelings for someone else mean, you are cheating on your spouse?
A husband or wife having sexual relations with people other than their spouse does constitute infidelity for sure. However, I think having feelings or loving someone else other than your spouse may be wrong, but unless they don't act upon it, I don't think it falls under the category of being "unfaithful" to your spouse, because there may be many valid reasons for not loving your husband or wife.
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*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
A husband or wife having sexual relations with people other than their spouse does constitute infidelity for sure. However, I think having feelings or loving someone else other than your spouse may be wrong, but unless they don't act upon it, I don't think it falls under the category of being "unfaithful" to your spouse, because there may be many valid reasons for not loving your husband or wife.
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Oki, here we are talking about having no "valid reasons". If everyhing is fine and still if the husband/wife starts having feelings for someone else,
is this "cheating"?
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Oki, here we are talking about having no "valid reasons". If everyhing is fine and still if the husband/wife starts having feelings for someone else,
is this "cheating"?
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It may not be cheating, but I don't think it's right. If there were no problems in the marriage, then why would one have feelings for another? There must be "something" which is allowing for that. Does the husband/wife secretly meet this person?
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*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
It may not be cheating, but I don't think it's right. If there were no problems in the marriage, then why would one have feelings for another? There must be "something" which is allowing for that. Does the husband/wife secretly meet this person?
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Yeah, "something" like a 'seven year itch'...many people have extra marital affairs for no particular reasons. I mean if a person is "cheating" on his/her spouse, it does not necessarily mean something is wrong in their married life.
Well, you can assume they meet in secret. But their is no physical relation of anykind.
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Yeah, "something" like a 'seven year itch'...many people have extra marital affairs for no particular reasons. I mean if a person is "cheating" on his/her spouse, it does not necessarily mean something is wrong in their married life.
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People who have extra marital affairs for no reason absolutely do have a problem in their married life or have a problem with themselves, otherwise they wouldn't be doing such a thing.
^ are you a married person. a psychologist or a counselor or do you just talk siht all the time regarding relationships and marriage?
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*Originally posted by Matsui: *
^ are you a married person. a psychologist or a counselor or do you just talk siht all the time regarding relationships and marriage?
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Matsui, I am anything you want me to be, just make an appointment.
In my opinion.. infidelty is when he wishes to be with the other woman than me....
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*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
Matsui, I am anything you want me to be, just make an appointment.
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I am assuming you will be wearing the leather miniskirt as usual?
Sounds like a speaker system to me. It's only infidelity if you get caught. If you get caught, you are not only infidel, but you are also stupid. Stupid infidel. Kafir people.
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*Originally posted by Deviliciousss: *
In my opinion.. infidelty is when he wishes to be with the other woman than me....
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I would have to agree with this statement. Pining away for someone else when you are in a committed relationship is a sign of unfaithfulness ... at least to me. If you don't love the person you are with, are emotionally involved with someone else (meaning not only physically involved) and if you are able to, then I would expect the person to get out of the relationship rather than continue an involvement with someone other than your partner.
Re: matters such as marital infidelity, stick to things which you hear directly from the person or see from your own eyes. Going by "gut" feeling or "instincts" (fancy words for "shakk") is just gonna mess up your mind. To say stuff like "I think he has 'feelings' for this other person" is neither here nor there. Proof is in the pudding, as they say. Trust your spouse and talk to each other.
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*Originally posted by NYAhmadi: *
Sounds like a speaker system to me. It's only infidelity if you get caught. If you get caught, you are not only infidel, but you are also stupid. Stupid infidel. Kafir people.
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Thanks for your input! And yeah, try being serious once in a while.
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*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
I would have to agree with this statement. Pining away for someone else when you are in a committed relationship is a sign of unfaithfulness ... at least to me. If you don't love the person you are with, are emotionally involved with someone else (meaning not only physically involved) and if you are able to, then I would expect the person to get out of the relationship rather than continue an involvement with someone other than your partner.
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Yes, in my eyes too, this is infidelity. Longing to be with someone else while in a marriage or relationship is being 'unfaithful' to ur spouse/partner. In my opinion you don't necessarily have to be physically involved with someone else to be a 'cheater', even being in love with someone else amounts to being 'unfaithful'.
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
Re: matters such as marital infidelity, stick to things which you hear directly from the person or see from your own eyes. Going by "gut" feeling or "instincts" (fancy words for "shakk") is just gonna mess up your mind. To say stuff like "I think he has 'feelings' for this other person" is neither here nor there. Proof is in the pudding, as they say. Trust your spouse and talk to each other.
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Yes, well said.
Trusting one's instinct in such matters is the worst thing to do. But you did not answer the main question....
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
But you did not answer the main question....
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You are right. I did not. Its a dicey preposition and depends on the person. Some might consider even feelings for another as infidelity. Some will even not mind sexual relations with another as long as they know they will always be #1 for their spouse. So my answer, one way or the other, is not helpful to anyone.
^
Yep, you are right again. But I want your opnion on this. I have asked people to present their opinion on Infidelity. So, what according to you is crossing the line?
I have a question, from an islamic standpoint.
What if your husband wants a second wife, is this being unfaithful to you?
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
I have a question, from an islamic standpoint.
What if your husband wants a second wife, is this being unfaithful to you?
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Yes, that is being unfaithful. ( this is my view and I guess most of the women would agree with me on this one). I don't know how Islam views this issue. But I think even from Islamic point of view, you cannot marry and bring home another wife without the consent of your first wife. ( I don't have as deep a knowledge as that of our resident maulavis. So please don't pounce on me for this one ).
:)