Arranged marriage is still very common among desis, especially among those living back home. Most people don’t have a choice but to marry the person their parents have chosen for them.
If two people never wanted to marry each other but had to due to family pressure, could infidelity be justified in their case?
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I've seen it happen a lot here in the UK.. usually the guys tho.. Often it's the white gf they were seeing prior to marriage.. Stupid parents assume they will somehow just automatically stop seeing the person once a ring is on their finger and the poor wife has no clue she is not what he wants. Girls do it as well but defo seems less common maybe cos they don't have as much freedom to stay out late and so on whilst the spouse is at home..
If the marriage is really forced I can't blame them but if it's just 'I went along with it to keep my parents happy' he/she needs a slap..
My SIL's uncle was forced into marriage and when he came back to the UK couldn't let go of his gf so ended up taking her as a second wife thru nikah only (she was desi tho).. He did ask his 'back home' wife for a divorce but she didn't want to.. Shows how messy some of these situations can get.. Now he has one 'proper' wife and kids and another set by his 'mistress' - according to UK law. Am wondering what the kids from the 'unwanted' wife will think of him as they grow up :(
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Could infidelity be justified in their case?
No. Someone succumbs to family pressure and doesn't speak up against it? Then live with it. You can't use your own weakness as an excuse for infidelity later on.
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Yes it is as justified as theft , burglary , holding up a bank if you need money to satisfy any of your addiction.
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No. Someone succumbs to family pressure and doesn't speak up against it? Then live with it. You can't use your own weakness as an excuse for infidelity later on.
Agreed. Cheating is cheating is cheating. If you are weak, grow a pair, do NOT cheat.
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^Agreed.
And one part of the change starts with us when we raise our own kids. It's on us to respect their choices and teach them to be vocal about their choices.
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..and not say we’re going to have a heart attack or stop eating or say we can never show our faces in public again or hit our daughters (or sons) if they say they don’t want to marry their cousin or some other person we want or throw them out of the house and threaten to never see or speak to them again 
Not surprising (esp in the case of girls) why so many feel they can’t say ‘no’ nowadays:
'Marriage negotiations “were going on discreetly”, but the first Miss Sohrab knew of it was a week before the ceremony, when she came home from school to be told by her mother the mosque had been booked.
Lord McEwan said: “She became hysterical, wept a lot and said she did not want to marry. Her mother threatened suicide, and she took the threat seriously. She was also told she would be taken to Pakistan and married there. She was also threatened with being put out of the house and accused of bringing shame and disgrace on her family name. In my view, that was more pressure than a 16-year-old girl could bear.”’
Source: http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/scotland/Judge-annuls-arranged-marriage.2321090.jp
Makes me sick.. can’t blame these people for feeling as tho they have no choice but to go thru with it imo and for anyone who is stupid enough to think it is rare here in the UK check out the figures on this poster:
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infidelity is never excused. you end things or never get into them. or learn to deal with them.
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May Allah smite these kind of people and make their lives living hell . That is truly a dua from my heart.
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if u are a muslim women and u are cheating on ur hubby then ur nikah is broken,the slippery road to hell.
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^The original nikah isn't valid in the first place tho **if the marriage was really forced.
**(Obviously the best thing to do if it has already taken place would be to dissolve the 'marriage', seek help from sympathetic family members, an imam or failing that the police if possible.. can understand how ppl who have been physically threatened or blackmailed might not feel they are able to tho)
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May Allah smite these kind of people and make their lives living hell . That is truly a dua from my heart.
:(
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to be an infidel is haraam period.If you are in a situation that u been forced and haressed and miserable and going out of your mind because everything is going against your wishes than it is human error.An alim should be consulted and your life should move on.
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to be an infidel is haraam
LMAO :p
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:(
What? You disagree?
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^No, not at all.. Just the thought of what some of those ppl have to go thru is so depressing.. Being honest if I was in that situation and had been forced I can't say I would stay faithful to the guy my whole life, esp as in so many cases, if I had nothing in common with him, different mindset, language barrier, culture, perhaps an age gap.. I'd like to think I'd be able to walk away or divorce before that stage but that's not always possible, esp if it's marriage within the family and/or u've been threatened with violence..
There's a thread about a girl about to go thru this right now on a large Islamic forum in the marriage section and someone pointed out the difference in answers between the desis and non-desis.. You can guess which group told her to just go ahead with the marriage and hope for the best..
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^No, not at all.. Just the thought of what some of those ppl have to go thru is so depressing.. Being honest if I was in that situation and had been forced I can't say I would stay faithful to the guy my whole life, esp as in so many cases, if I had nothing in common with him, different mindset, language barrier, culture, perhaps an age gap.. I'd like to think I'd be able to walk away or divorce before that stage but that's not always possible, esp if it's marriage within the family and/or u've been threatened with violence..
There's a thread about a girl about to go thru this right now on a large Islamic forum in the marriage section and someone pointed out the difference in answers between the desis and non-desis.. You can guess which group told her to just go ahead with the marriage and hope for the best..
Such cheap tricks :( Using the girl to keep the boy in the UK... Made my blood boil
Anyways, they will have to face it in the end. Allah SWT says clearly that he may forgive his own right, but those who violate the rights of others shall not be forgiven, unless the wronged forgives them himself...
And BTW, which forum is that?
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^I meant in general.. so many stories like that floating around..
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if u are a muslim women and u are cheating on ur hubby then ur nikah is broken,the slippery road to hell.
What now? Cheating on your husband breaks your nikkah?
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I think better option is another marriage . Btw people cheat out of habit and less of a forced marriage .
