I’m sure anyone who’s taken more than a month to conceive (whether trying or not) has been bombarded with the child question…
in my experience, it’s only women who discuss this stuff. To date, my husband has never been asked this question, and no man has ever asked me this Q.
If you’ve been through it, how did your husbands take the situation? Were they supportive?
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
My husband was EXTREMELY supportive. I would not have been able to get through those years without him! He never once made a face or pouted or complained…in fact, he was more worried about ME than if we ever had kids or not! It was very hard for him to watch me inject myself, and go through all the poking and prodding and procedures and miscarriages. In fact, he wanted to full stop after our first son was born…I had to literally fight with him for the second IVF (when we concieved the twins)he just didn’t want me to go through anything else.
He also put to rest all the BS my inlaws shot my way, and made sure to keep their negativity far away from me.
In short, my husband was my farishta! I’m very luck to have him as a husband. When we started having the fertility issues, he doesn’t care if we EVER have kids, and that our marriage would not be defined by children.
Thank you Allah for him!! (now if you could PLEASE just do something about his baniya-pan 
)
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
aww...that is sweet.
In your case, did they ever say anything to him/in front of him? Or was it a, "so and so said this to me." kind of situation?
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
New people that my husband meets ask him if he has kids, he says no, they say don't worry Allah will give and that's as far as he discusses it with men.
And my hubby is very supportive. On our second trip to Pak after marriage, he called ahead and told him mum to tell their nosey relatives to not bother me with any ttc questions when we arrive. What more could i want?
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
aww...that is sweet.
In your case, did they ever say anything to him/in front of him? Or was it a, "so and so said this to me." kind of situation?
His mom and brother would bombard him with questions and insensitive remarks all the time. He would be polite but firm with them and put a stop to all the bakwas.
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
My husband is my biggest support and motivation Alhamdulilah. Whenever i am dejected and demoralized, he is always there to listen to all my woes, at the same time encouraging me. I dont know what i would have done without him. He is even ready to accept the case if (God forbid) we are never able to have kids. He is the biggest blessing of Allah Almighty in my life Alhamdulilah. I really respect him for the way he has dealt with out infertility journey and is still dealing! Trust me, its a very bumpy road, i wont wish it even to my enemies.
My in laws are very supportive Allah ka shukar hai. My husband is the eldest son and my saas susr really want to have grand kids but they are also very supportive. They know that we are trying and seeking help but have never ever bombarded me (or him) with whys and whens. I went to Pakistan in the summer and my saas actually sat by me and told me not to worry and that she is by my side. She is a good woman mashAllah. I met many khawateens (at my inlaws, neighbors, MIL's colleagues etc) for the first time, but they loved asking me about the kids. One of them even told me about a doctor (and that also in front of my MIL), i dont know what goes into the minds of such women, i feel that they intentionally do it in front of the in laws which is kind of sad because not every one has in laws as understanding as mine.
Initially my MIL, FIL and husband's sibling used to ask him ke when are you planning to have kids, koi khushkhabri suna do etc. That was before they knew that we had infertility problems. My husband just used to smile and say dua karain, nothing more and they also dint interrogate much either. Now they dont ask since they know that we have been trying for quite sometime now. He has been asked by his friends too, he gives them the same answer and they dont dig deeper, any sane person wont. But it breaks my heart to see him wanting to have kids so much but still doesnt say anything, ANYTHING at all, out of his love for me. He also has very strong faith in Allah Azawajal that its HIS will and marzi, it will happen if and when HE wants. This is also a contributing factor that he is able to deal with this journey so patiently and strongly.
Also we dont give every single detail to our in laws. Like all they know is that we had some problems and i am seeing a fertility specialist but thats it. They dont press us for any medical details and we dont tell them either.
Infertility/TTC and the husbands
Thank goodness for supportive husbands. Faith in Allah and seeking his help is the best possible action. May Allah grant us all pious offspring and grant us the blessing of parenthood inshallah.
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
Thank goodness for supportive husbands. Faith in Allah and seeking his help is the best possible action. May Allah grant us all pious offspring and grant us the blessing of parenthood inshallah.
Ameen!!
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
Initially, it were WE who didnt want kids. But when we planned and I got my first miscarriage.. He was really very supportive.
Even my inlaws never asked me such questions.
Right after my first miscarriage..my hubby came back to UK. Now as I am here, I got pregnant and had to abort my ectopic pregnancy.... I still found him very supportive throughout. Through his words, through his acts..... im simply so lucky to have him. He's been very positive and caring. Also, he kept on telling me that Allah has some more better plans for us and that I shouldn't be worrying.. my mil and sil never inquire me such things too!!
Infertility/TTC and the husbands
Queen24 ---you are lucky to have such good inlaws. You will be a great mom inshallah . All my Duas are with you .
Re: Infertility/TTC and the husbands
