this has always been something that i have thought about
there is a desi totka that if a couple cant have kids for a long period of time, they should adopt and within a yr or so, they will be blessed with a baby of their own. ive always heard it by the buzurg in my family and other desi households..
2 of my mumanis that had been told they could not conceive due to issues with their ovaries, and so after 10 + yrs of trying each, they both adopted… lo and behold, within a yrs time they were both expecting and now have 2 biological kids each.
ive also seen the same with some other friends that have went on to adopt (ofcourse not cuz it was just a totka to get biological kids of their own, but sincerely wanted to adopt a child), and got pregnant soon after.
putting all these cases together, its so easy to believe that this totka works… i mean its not like they tried for a yr or 2 and that was it and went onto adopt and well they got pregnant soon after.. all these ladies involved had been trying for a minimum of 8 yrs.
what do you guys think ? any truth to this totka or is it jsut a coincidence?
I would call it a coincidence or maybe a blessing the new kid brought along. I wouldnt call it a totka, isnt a totka suppose to work with everyone? And I suppose if the multi doc has declared the couple infertile, an adopted kid is probably not going to bring the same blessing for them (I mean bleassing as getting a bio kid).. I hope I am making sense
I think to some extent it does have a link in that once u have adopted a child...you're free of that stress that accompanies not being able to conceive...
thast exaclty it sara... that is what i used to think.... when you are just not conceiving.. you stress so much.. and stress is a sperm killer.. so when you adopt you arent thinking bout making babies any more.. and bang.. your done ... knocked up nice and good.
sweet: no i dont think a totka is meant to work for everyone.. its liek a cold remedy taht may work for me but not for you.. etc.
thats the thing... for all these ladies, the drs had said they could keep trying but it will be near to impossible for it to happen.. and then they adopt and boom they are pregnant.
Yes I've seen that happening A LOT! Maybe it is Allah's way of blessing a family after going through so much and doing the honorable act of adopting a child.
thast exaclty it sara... that is what i used to think.... when you are just not conceiving.. you stress so much.. and stress is a sperm killer.. so when you adopt you arent thinking bout making babies any more.. and bang.. your done ... knocked up nice and good.
sweet: no i dont think a totka is meant to work for everyone.. its liek a cold remedy taht may work for me but not for you.. etc.
thats the thing... for all these ladies, the drs had said they could keep trying but it will be near to impossible for it to happen.. and then they adopt and boom they are pregnant.
oh I guess, one can call it a totka then? I actually read about a couple in the paper once who were living in dubai, white people, couldnt have kids, so adopted twin girls from India. 2 yrs later they were blessed with a biological boy with blond hair and blue eyes. So whenever the dad was out shopping, the arabs would ask him if he had two wives :p cute story
**Its probably more a result of the fact that having adopted kids , the level of STRESS associated with the infertility is markedly reduced and this might have something to do with having conceived !
Since stress isn't quantifiable one can't really assess its effects.....
However a lot of times when I have had patients with Unexplained Infertility , I've advised them to lay off the treatments for a period of time .....take a break from all those hospital visits and tedious treatments and found several have come back pregnant spontaneously within an year.**
if you believe it will happen it will happen (sometimes anyway). such things are psychological and have to due with the level of stress as sheyn stated.