Re: indulging kids
Not that I am overly experienced, but some points I believe in are:
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Don’t give (too many) compliments on everything your child does.
You will see some parents praising their child constantly on everything the child does: From drawing a tree to eating hiw sandwich and wiping off his own nose. This gives a wrong message to the child.
Do praise your child if he accomplishes something (especially something he was affraid to do) because it’s a good confidence boost. Don’t ignore his efforts when he does chores, but don’t overly do it, don’t make a show out of it. Otherwise you will create ‘princes and princesses’ that expect a reward for even daily chores.
Everything in moderation. -
Make your kid confident about the way he looks or the talents he has, by giving compliments such as: ‘you are looking nice’ or ‘that colour is looking good on you’, ‘you are good at xy’. But again don’t start throwing with compliments left and right, don’t obsess over it. If you overly do it, then it loses it’s meaning and the focus will be too much on appearance. I know adults who now compare everyone with themselves, and get jealous when others get compliments. Not healhty!
Also the child will expect to hear praises about his looks from everyone. If he sees that others don’t bestow him with compliments he will get selfesteem issues.
And learn how to praise. Don’t involve others. In eager: if you are complimenting your child on his looks, then don’t down play the looks/talents of others.
Your child has his plus points/qualities, and other kids/people have theirs. It’s not a competition. -
Learn your child to be humble.
That starts with you. Be happy and proud over his achievements. Share it with close ones. But not too much infront of the child and don’t yell it over the rooftops. -
Ofcourse the no = no rule!
I know how weak those tears can make you, but they are fake. After a short while the child will forget it and move on. They wont hate you and they wont be traumatized. -
Involve your child in decisions, but you make the final decision (the final decision should ofcourse also comply to your childs wishes, but not solely).
I am sure I didn’t say anything new, but still found it mention worthy.