If during your talks with a potential rishta, the person who is Indian remarks how corrupt Pakistanis are, or makes some comment about someone he/she met that was corrupt, and says, well “They’re pakistani that’s why”…
Would that be a dealbreaker?
Re: Indians
why would someone make such a big deal about an Indian making such a comment while it’s a OK if a Pakistani makes a similar or even worse comment about Pakistan? here, i’m talking about Indian Muslims! 
these are just passing comments…they probably don’t harbour ill wishes. i agree that it’s highly insensitive comment to make.
Re: Indians
Then why is the Indian even entertaining a Pakistani rishta?
It's difficult enough if the parents of the potential are closed-minded; but it's worse if your spouse views you with a contempt over something not in your control. That contempt can creep up in arguments, widen gaps within the family as opposed to bridging them, and it can have a negative impact on the kids. Corruption implies a lack of scruples and that the person or rather group of people cannot be trusted. Why would you even consider for marriage someone you believe has an inherently debased character or inclination/tendency toward it? The stereotype is worse than saying "oh such and such a race is dumb"...as intellect is just one quality whereas a corrupt nature refers to the individual's overall character, mentality, and dealings in relationships, finances, etc. You can tell if a comment was made in jest or was in earnest...though if the former, it's not in the least funny....and frequency of a comment sends a message too. Move on; next.
Re: Indians
why would someone make such a big deal about an Indian making such a comment while it's a OK if a Pakistani makes a similar or even worse comment about Pakistan? .
Do you mean to say it's not such a big deal if an Indian makes such a comment when Pakistanis criticize their own country as well?
Pakistanis who criticize Pakistan for the corruption...also manage to see positives in the country....or I'm hoping they can as opposed to only bashing. But because they identify with the country, the criticism stems from a feeling of concern...from a desire to see the country resolve its issues and prosper; there can even be an undercurrent of empathy in the criticism. Criticism from someone who is from a country that shares a longstanding history of enmity with your own may not carry the undertones of concern, empathy, desire for well-being, or acknowledge the positive aspects even if the religion is the same. I'm not suggesting that all Indians, Muslims or otherwise would have such an attitude.....but I'm attempting to answer your question as to the reason or psyche behind why such a comment from an Indian may be perceived as a "bigger" deal. Also, it's one thing if one complains that the politicians or government of a country are corrupt.....but to believe that even the average person is inherently corrupt by virtue of their nationality.....that's a bigger deal even if they don't harbor ill wishes.
Re: Indians
Do you mean to say it's not such a big deal if an Indian makes such a comment when Pakistanis criticize their own country as well?
Pakistanis who criticize Pakistan for the corruption...also manage to see positives in the country....or I'm hoping they can as opposed to only bashing. But because they identify with the country, the criticism stems from a feeling of concern...from a desire to see the country resolve its issues and prosper; there can even be an undercurrent of empathy in the criticism. Criticism from someone who is from a country that shares a longstanding history of enmity with your own may not carry the undertones of concern, empathy, desire for well-being, or even acknowledgment of the positive aspects even if the religion is the same. I'm not suggesting that all Indians, Muslims or otherwise would have such an attitude.....but I'm attempting to answer your question as to the reason or psyche behind why such a comment from an Indian may be perceived as a bigger deal. Also, it's one thing if one complains that the politicians or government if a country are corrupt.....but to believe that even the average person is inherently corrupt by virtue of their nationality.....that's a bigger deal.
you think that Muslims of India have no goodwill towards Pakistan and no feelings to what's happening there? you will be surprised to know that Muslims in India do feel brotherly love to Pakistanis because we are all brothers and sisters in Islam.
Re: Indians
you think that Muslims of India have no goodwill towards Pakistan and no feelings to what's happening there? you will be surprised to know that Muslims in India do feel brotherly love to Pakistanis because we are all brothers and sisters in Islam.
Um ..HELLO...why don't you go and reread...or just read (if you overlooked it the first time) the part in my post where I said not all Indians...Muslim or otherwise...would feel that way. I am aware that some do have goodwill and I have encountered several positive examples, both Muslim and non-Muslim. I was just attempting to explain the psyche behind your initial question as to why criticism from an Indian may be a bigger deal.
Re: Indians
It shouldn't be a dealbreaker if you yourself say it too.....repeatedly....... that pakistanis have issues because they are from pakistan........ innit?
Re: Indians
Yes for me it will be. When Pakistani point out something bad about their country or create fuss over it they do not do this because of hatred or ill-feelings towards their country. Whereas for Indians, high chances are that it is the hatred in their mind speaking because this is what they are told by their media, govt. and bollywood day-in and day-out.
Re: Indians
we are all brothers and sisters in Islam.
In todays time and age, brother and sister hood in Islam is a virtual overlay concept, which has no underlay physical infrastructure to sustain it. Wish some middle-eastern brothers could understand your wish and stop funding of sectarian organizations and aid to militants in Pakistan who are killing fellow muslims so proudly.
Re: Indians
In todays time and age, brother and sister hood in Islam is a virtual overlay concept, which has no underlay physical infrastructure to sustain it. Wish some middle-eastern brothers could understand your wish and stop funding of sectarian organizations and aid to militants in Pakistan who are killing fellow muslims so proudly.
you have to separate people from governments. it happens only because govenment of Pakistan allows it to happen and Ghaddars love money more than brothers and sisters.
Re: Indians
If during your talks with a potential rishta, the person who is Indian remarks how corrupt Pakistanis are, or makes some comment about someone he/she met that was corrupt, and says, well "They're pakistani that's why"....
Would that be a dealbreaker?
hmmm..... wat wuld have been the underlying reason for him to make such remarks?? has he worked with pakistani's?? if yes them maybe he has come across such ppl and tht maybe one reason for him to have such a perception...
if there is no reason behind it and he's jst making such generalized statements, then its wrong!..
I am an Indian and my fiance is from Karachi...he's working in a place where 90% of the crowd is Indian, and sometimes when he's really pissed of by his colleagues, he ends up making such negative and sometimes extremely negative remarks.. but then i knw he's upset and he doesn't really mean it...so i jst let it go for the time being, and as soon as he's normal i make his realise tht its wrong to generalize views jst coz of few individuals...
come to think of it...even my parents feel "saare pakistani's aise hi hote hai.." so i think this is a general notion of some ppl...all thanks to our gr8 and over dramatic media who create the foundation of such perception in ppls minds...
but ya...if u are not in a relationship already...thn i feel..if a person cannot respect ur country / nation... thn there will always be issues b/w the couple at a later stage...coz somewhere down the line you would end up being offended and this may lead to arguments and friction in future...
Re: Indians
you have to separate people from governments. it happens only because govenment of Pakistan allows it to happen and Ghaddars love money more than brothers and sisters.
True!!!...and frankly this hold true for the govt of the other side of the border too!!!
Re: Indians
Contradictory.
Re: Indians
An ill word or wish against Pakistan and you are out! Simple.
Re: Indians
Challenge them to a wrestling match, not for any logical reason but just because.
Re: Indians
I wouldn't like it. Its like talking about family members...you know your sister/brother/parents have flaws but you're not going to tolerate it if other people start talking about them.
The thing is...judgments like that are so harsh and hard to change. They're entertaining a Pakistani rishta because other reasons I think. I've noticed Indians and Pakistanis have a love/hate relationship. They love and hate each other at times.
Re: Indians
An ill word or wish against Pakistan and you are out! Simple.
That sums up my view.
Re: Indians
Since when did you have concern about Pakistan or Pakistanis? Check your passport first...if it is green then obviously he should be kicked out....however if it is not green then you are no longer a Pakistani anyway...so don't worry about it
Re: Indians
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Re: Indians
Since when did you have concern about Pakistan or Pakistanis? Check your passport first...if it is green then obviously he should be kicked out....however if it is not green then you are no longer a Pakistani anyway...so don't worry about it
Its part of her heritage just like it is mine.
Zahir hai...you have to show contempt for people outside of Pakistan because that's a fault or a problem, right?
Bravo. Star plus dekhna zara kam kardo...please and thanks.