Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original
spellings:
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in
two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the best
drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them Ancient
India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A
myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which
means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden
times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the
Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves
in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as
MeraBharat Mahan.
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because
they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their
capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the
Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on
the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was
peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came
Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that
time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there.
The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they
started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent
to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after
that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji’s sena did not like it.
They also do not like New Delhi, so they are calling it Door Darshan.
After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was
circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They
brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed
railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries,
pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex
who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.
Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much
diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long
period.Theywere great expotents and impotents. They started expoting
salt from India
and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to
produce his own salt. This was called the Swedish moment. During this
moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to
wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the
production of Indian testiles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the
father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named
because the British were quietly lootoing our country. In 1947, India became
free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its
government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take
the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is
the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for
the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not
paid your taxis. Another important thing about our constipation is that it
can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because
it is not written on paper. The Indian parlemint consists of two houses
which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said
that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand. So Pandit Nehru
asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of
the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in parlemint in which
many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag. Recently in India,
there have been a large number of scams and a plaque,it can be dangerous
because many people died of this plaque in Surat. Scams are all over India.
One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by
their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in
Switzerland.In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can
shoot a coot.
Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties,
left,right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means
that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by
itself.
India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are
being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at
Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty,
pollution and population.
