Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
hello decent fellow! thanku for ur advice..i will keep that in mind...cuz too often, when two ppl are angry, they juz start screamin and wat not..and not one wants to just shutup and wait til the other cools down..
and yes u r rite, at the end its always the girls fault!
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
yes ashtry ur right...i also married a "ref"...im a born and raised canaidan girl and hes a born and raised paki guy...ours was a totally arranged (but not forced) marriage...my hubby did do his bachelors of comp sci in pak , but w hen he came here, he had to start from scratch. for our first 2 years of marriage, i was still in college, and we stayed at my parents house...my hubby worked for my father...after i graduated, we moved out and we both started working full time. it was hard..if it wasnt for him working for my father, it would have been very hard (financially)...he had helped us with our down payment for our home..otherwise, we woudl have been renting for the rest of our lives....
and emotionally , my hubby and i alwasy got along pretty well....hes from isb, so hes not this paindu gaon guy (thank god!)...i think it all depends on the guy's mindset...i have canadian cousins that married gaon guys, and these couples definately have their clashes..and like i alwasy say...you can get the guy out of the gaon, but you could never get the gaon out of the guy...
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
^ There is nothing wrong with being a painod or gaon. It is shameful that you think that you are superior to some one just because they were raised in a village.
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
i dont care where they lived...in fact im from a gaon and damn proud....i just care about their "gaon thinking"...like, women cant do this, women cant do that...there are even some men in my own family that have this "gaon thinking"..i cant stand that....thats what i was talking about....
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
Juat remember Asmaji, marrying someone from back home costs you money constantly as he wants to go see his folks. If you marry someone (even a desi) from here, you don't have that not inconsiderable expense but then you sound smart to me. You have already taken that in consideration.
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
What is wrong with women staying at home and tending to the kids and kitchen?
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
I don't think all gaon guys are like that bad. My upper crust city girl cousin married a guy from a gaon. However, he was a doctor and very well educated. They're totally happy, but I think his education and his desire to refine himself really played a part in their happiness. It would be hard to get along with a guy who is set in his outdated ways.
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
I'm an American desi and my husband grew up back home and we talked with each other for only a few months before we got married. I would really like to say that we get along so well that it's a marriage made in heaven but honestly there are quite a few differences in the way he views certain things and my views. But there is a sweet side to him too.
Hardest times are when I have to stay with his parents back home. Mainly because as much as I try to get along with his mother and father, the "trying to get along" only comes from me because they feel they really don't have to.
We have our arguments but marriage is all about compromises and making it work no matter the obstacles. I just keep in mind that you can't change the way a person thinks or is. After all, I have my flaws too.
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
mfs555 - omg, ur situation is soo similar to mine..my parents don't expect him to come here and start settlin in asap..they noe its gonna be hard..they want both of us to stay with them until atleast both of us graduate [cuz i am still studying, and he wants to come here and study as well..which i think makes sense]..and then once we are out of the education phase..then we can start lookin for f/t jobs and move out...yes, n thankfuly, he is okay with me working and is not like the typical guys who say "stay at home"
expatobserver - hehe..actually i did..i remember when i came to canada..i was cravin to go bak every day!!! but financially, cldn't..i am sure he is quite excited to come here, but wait till he comes and watch him crave for backhome...
kaleem - personally, i dont think anything is wrong for women to stay at home...if my husband is makin enuf, and then i wld stay home too..but sum women wld like to work outside..n when hubbies start forcing them to stay home, i think that's not fair...
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
yeah...my hubby wanted to study, but as soon as he came to canada, he started working..mainly because he wanted to make money for our own place, and also to sponser his parents (who will be coming some time this year)...his thinking is that when his parents do come here, he could start his studying again, at least part time.
kaleem..and like asmaprincess said, there is n othing wrong if a girl wants to stay at home..but it shoudl be by her own choice..
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
Well....first of all I have to say good luck to u, and secondly I would like to say accepting & making adjustment depends on the person itself, if one person wants to make changes & the other one does not contribute then nothing will happen but if both work together things can change!! I have seen many females & males come from Pak to UK & most of them have either changed for the best & some have changed for the worse.... It depends on the person..so make sure u discuss this b4 he comes over!!!
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
When everyone forces you to, when its everyone else's faisla xcept yours
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
mfs55 - i hope everythin is settled for you by now
simmy - thanku !
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
thanks asma..yup me and hubby doing well for ourselves (thank god!)..just waiting until the in laws come here (something this year...)...then maybe it'll be a whole new story...lol...
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
men are better cooks..
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
mfs55 - oh ya? ....o dat wld be a compeletely diff story for sure..gud luck with that as well..but its a gud thing u guys are settled now..it will be easier to take care of the parents..
oh btw..did u apply for your spouse's immig b4 the marriage..or after? like does it take a long time?
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
well i had my nikkah over the phone (this was 5 years ago) and then i sponsered him (took like 6 months)..these days it takes a few months for the spouse to get their visa after you sponser....for parents/inlaws it takes 2-5 years (thank god..lol....)
Re: Indian guy / Cdn Girl
oh ok ..well thats gud..i can't imagine gettin married and then havin to live without him because of the longggggggggg immigration procedures..gud to noe its faster..guess it also helps to have a gud lawyer!
hehehe..aww but your "2-5" years are up :P