indecisiveness

hello. i hvae severe indecisivness. i can never make a full final decision and hwnever i do i always start doubting and sometimes its like i go back halfway. i m always confused. my head is always hurting. sometimes i get angry sometimes i get really worried and i have really paranoid thoughts and sometimes i start crying.

its really important life decision with which i am in the above state. i fell like because of my halat that i am cauisng zillat and pain to my family my rithidares my baradari. somtiems i feel like im being unfair when i make one decision but then somtimes i think that hat im doign is right because i will face so many problems in th efuture.

does anybody else go through this? how do u deal with it so that you are at peace no matter what decision you make?

i wish i could see the future so that i could make a proper decision. i feel like im being ripped apart from the inside every passing day :frowning:

Re: indecisiveness

We all go through the "uncertainty" period in our life. I usually try to take the positive out of everything. I believe that Allah is there to help me if i make a wrong decision.

Keep a selected very close ppl around you to take advice from but don't make this list more than 2 or 3 ppl max.

Relax in your life. You need to be happy with your current situation to make a decision for future. Smile every time you see yourself in the mirror. Thank Allah for every small thing that HE has given you and you will see that your mind and heart will start to be filled with confidence.

:)

Re: indecisiveness

PS: there are no wrong decision, just bad decisions which we can all recover from. and likewise, there is no right decision, just good decisions which we are all trying to make...

Re: indecisiveness

Just make sure you never go to play 'millionaire'. They wont let you change your answer once you lock in it.

Re: indecisiveness

Arezoo, pray istikhaara for decision making.

Re: indecisiveness

Fall nikalnay wala tota khareed lain or use tarrot cards. It makes decision making very easy.

ansoo thanks for hte beautiful advice

what am i supposed to see in my dream in the iskthikara? is it just two nafals or whole namaz at bedtime?

From Islam Question and Answer - She has received a marriage proposal from a person who has some shortcomings which she is trying to deal with and discuss

“It is not necessary in the case of istikhaarah to feel something specific afterwards. Rather if you consult people and think deeply about the matter, and it becomes clear to you that this matter will be beneficial both in religious and worldly terms, then you should pray istikhaarah and go ahead, and not wait for a sign or a dream or a feeling. You should rather put your trust in Allaah and go ahead after praying istikhaarah.”

Islam Question and Answer - He prayed istakhaarah and did not feel anything

[FONT=‘Traditional Arabic’]Praise be to Allaah.
The daleel (evidence) for Salaat al-Istikhaarah and the du’aa’ to be recited is the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (1109) and others from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with them both). For the commentary on this hadeeth and more details, please see question #2217 and 410.
With regard to what some people say, “then he should go ahead with whatever he feels happy with”, a hadeeth to this effect was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – narrated by Ibn al-Sunni – according to which he said, “If you are concerned about a matter, then make istikhaarah seven times, praying to your Lord, then see what you feel most drawn towards, and the good will be in that.”
Al-Nawawi said: its isnaad is ghareeb, and it includes narrators whom I do not know. (al-Adhkaar, p. 132).
Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: if this were proven, it could be taken as evidence, but its isnaad is very weak (waahin jiddan). (al-Fath, 11/223)
Al-Haafiz al-‘Iraaqi said: it contains a narrator who is known to be da’eef jiddan (very weak), namely Ibraaheem ibn al-Baraa’.. Therefore the hadeeth is da’eef jiddan. (al-Futoohaat al-Rabbaaniyyah, 3/357)
The correct view is that when Allaah makes something easy for you – after having decreed it and accepted your du’aa’ – this is a sign that it is good to go ahead and do it. The existence of obstacles and difficulties is an indication that Allaah is pushing His slave away from doing it. This meaning will be very clear when one ponders the meaning of the hadeeth of Jaabir concerning al-istikhaarah, where the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“… O Allaah, if You know this affair – [and here he should mention it] – is good for me in relation to my religion, my life, and end, then decree and facilitate it for me, and bless me with it, and if You know this affair to be ill for me towards my religion, my life, and end, then remove it from me and remove me from it, and decree for me what is good wherever it be and make me satisfied with such.”
Ibn ‘Allaan – after transmitting the scholarly view that the hadeeth of Anas is da’eef (weak) – said: Therefore it was said: that after (doing istikhaarah) he should do what he wants (i.e., even if he does not feel that sense of being happy), because whatever happens after doing istikhaarah is good…
Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: Al-Haafiz Zayn al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said (concerning doing something after praying istikhaarah): Whatever he does, there will be good in it. This is supported by what is said at the end of the hadeeth of Ibn Mas’ood according to some of its isnaads: ‘Then let him make his decision.’ I (Ibn Hajar) say: I have already discussed above and explained that its narrators (i.e., the narrators who added the phrase ‘Then let him make his decision) are da’eef (weak). But this is still stronger than the narrator of that hadeeth (i.e., the hadeeth which says, ‘then see what you feel most drawn towards’). (al-Futoohaat al-Rabaaniyyah, 3/355-357)
Another of the myths that are widespread among people is that after praying istikhaarah you should sleep, and whatever good you see in your dream that makes you happy means that what you want to do is good and will be made easy for you, otherwise it is not good. (This is what the questioner meant by saying “gets the message”). There is no saheeh daleel (evidence) for this as far as we know.
The above does not mean that if you feel happy it is not a sign, but this should not be regarded as the only sign about whether or not the matter is good. People often make istikhaarah about something they like or want to do, so they feel happy about it from the outset.
Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning the matter of feeling happy about something: if he makes istakhaarah, then whatever Allaah makes him feel happy about and makes easy for him, this is what Allaah has chosen for him. (Majmoo’ al-Fataawaa, 10/539).
There is a difference between making feeling happy the only sign and making it one of several signs. There is no set time period for salaat al-istikhaarah; it is permissible to repeat it more than once, but there is no limit to how many times. The person may offer the du’aa’ before or after saying the salaam. And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

oh trust me u r so NOT alone... i m the dumbest female on the face of this earth! :P i mean even for a small thing like ice cream or whatever, i will b standin thinkin which one to take... i m so confusinggggggggggggg... i want this but i want that also... life is crazy.. hang in there

Re: indecisiveness

no one can see the future. so please be very confident. if you place your trust in Allah swt and your intentions are clear. nothing will phase you out. you will inshallah make the right decision. make sure you do not break somebody's trust after leading that person on.

i wish that you look within and become sure of your own self. only then, you can be reliable in making a decision which will be of benefit to you. you cannot mislead your self. if you do not want to be in a given, imposed, expected commitment, then do not be complacent with it, now. it will save you and whoever you are indecisive about, a whole lot of pain.

You see the prophet (saw) was the best in making decisions and had never made a wrong decision in his entire life, YET when he used to make major decisions in life, he used to take “Mashwara” from his pious colleagues. WHY ?! Did he need other’s advices ?? NO! actually he wanted to teach us that whenever you want to make an important decision in life do take advice from pious and trustful people around you as it would help you in looking at the matter from different perspective and get a good picture of the situation. After listening to everyone try to find out whose advise is the closest to the sunnah of the Prophet (saw). Pray to Allah (s.w.t) for strength, recite Bismillah and take the decision. BE firm and confident in it and always be flexible enough to make important changes if ever you feel there is room for correction and improvement in the light of Sunnah.

In order to take advice of people, list down all the people in your life whom you trust the most. like parents, siblings,…etc. and talk to them alone one by one.

If you still are not sure if your decision is logical and reasonable then go for Istekhara the method of which is as follows:

Khalid Zaheer: Procedure and supplication of Istikhara