Inanity

[system]

Acha some background: my sister is in second year of university and has been living with me for a year, our parents are on the other side of the world. She used to have a lot of Pakistani friends and they were practically inseparable and so friggin noisy that our parents complained. Now my sister hardly sees those girls and it occurred to me that in the one year that she has been here, those girls’ parents have never dropped their daughters off at our place. Though it would be so easy because my sister has no curfew or anything and I don’t mind too much if they get noisy together. Since all her Pakistani friends come from very traditional families, I wonder if their parents keep their daughters away because they think my sister must be all mod squad and too liberal and free because she doesn’t live with parents, I mean I can think of no other reason. Of course this would just feed any stereotypes people have because now my sister has no Muslim friends left.

I know a lot of people view girls living alone very negatively though I wonder why: I’ve watched my sister learn so many things and become so mature. She does not abuse her freedom. Unlike her nikammi Pakistani friends who are busy with their boyfriends and hiding behind their parents’ back, my sister is studying her butt to get into dentistry. At least I know unlike the fate of so many other girls, my sister won’t be trapped under the yoke of her husband and can survive alone no matter what happens. How can that be bad?

[Mehnaz]

Re: Inanity

There is an unfair assumption that girls go wild and become 'awara' if they live on their own. I remember the stuff my parents heard when I lived away from home during my first year of university. The fact that my university was two hours from home was irrelevant ... what was more important was that I was living on my own, and therefore, must be basking in my new found independence. How incredibly wrong these people were. People like to talk and gossip, and believe me, it's easier to point their fingers at others instead of looking at what their own children are doing right under their noses.

Mind you, there are others who understand the situation and don't see it as a negative thing.

In your situation, have you spoken to your sister about it? Maybe she had a falling out with her friends and it isn't what you are thinking?

[cat-woman]

Re: Inanity

Mehnaz is right, our community really looks down up girls living on their own. But in your sisters case, she is living with you - her older sister. I don't see anything to be frowned upon.

[Ansoon]

Re: Inanity

I completely agree with Mehnaz here.. our society has some big problems.