I am sure this topic may have been discussed here before but I heard 2 episodes yesterday and had me wondering..
My cousin called me yesterday and told me that her mother-in-law who is also her aunt and a well educated saas too had actually told her that her next child should be a boy! As my cousins first kid is a girl and a cute who is loved by her parents .. her dad doesnt care if next kid is a boy or girl .. both of them were shocked at the demand and her husband actually said he would be more than happy if the next one is a girl too..
After hearing this my wife told me about the family she knows that was a shocker.. In a well-educated family in Islamabad a woman actually hated her third girl and never saw her again and its been raised by a maid! She even doesnt care about her first 2 daughters.. the great desire of boy ithout even a family pressure is unimaginable to me.. how can a mother doesnt like their kids ..
Some of my cousins who have 2 daughters are satisfied and feel their family complete.. it may may important when in rural societies or where family feuds were everywhere to desire for sons but in this age when it doesnt matter if one have boys and girls why this anxiety for boys! and especially when culprit is a woman ..
Degas, you raise a great point. Yeah it sure is surprising that a woman from a well-educated family should care what sex her child should be born with. All babies, regardless of gender, are gifts from God. Despite the education though, it looks as if this woman is still very much clinging to rural way of thinking on the issue. How sad! I hope she realizes that today, it doesn’t matter if you have a boy or a girl, both grow up to be equally competent members of society!
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*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
education helps end illiteracy, but is not always successful in ending ignorance.
[/QUOTE]
*claps well said
Sometimes when i look at these cases it just feels as if they are taking their frustations out on their kids ...may be their mothers or in-laws pressured them.
What shocks me the most is A boy or girl will not born if Allah doesn't want. If a child was given to you, one should be Thankful to Allah and be happy. Who the heck are you to decide who to keep and who not too. There are so many couples that i know who are dying to have kids and yet they cant.
Beta neemat hai to beti rehmat hai . Life is incomplete without either one of them.
What intrigues me is the fact that its the man who gives the "X" for girl or "Y" for boy chromosome to the woman, and thus the baby turns out to be a boy or girl, and yet the woman is often blamed for the child being a girl. sigh
Of course there should be no blame whatsoever, as everyone has stated. Both are a blessing.
I know of a couple who mistreated their eldest daughter because they felt she should have been a boy, and they felt she was "ugly". Tragic really.
I guess it i snatural to desire for things you don't have but this excuse is not valid when it comes to new born babies. Babies are not "things". They are Allah's rehmat. We need to appreciate them and give them all the love we can.
The problem with MOST Pakistanis (and other developing countries) is that we don't put the same emphasis on educating girls as we do on boys. This causes the girls to be under-educated and dependent on MEN (be it their fathers or husbands) for the rest of their lives. They become a Bojh. If we educate our daughters with same degree of enthusiasm I bet they will turn out to be a lot better than the sons.
For all the parents longing for babies;
A son is a son until he finds a wife
A daughter is yours until the end of life
(above may need some correction as I vaguely remembered it)
sad!! seriously our grandparents generation of pakistanis is soooo f***d up… wot really ticks me of is that they act all religious and when u tell them that this sorta stuff is unislamic and that all children are a blessing regardless of gender they don’t wanna listen…
