we say a lot of things in anger that we regret later…
like all the resentments ur holding against the person(spouse,kids,friends,relatives) we just say them in anger…and they might hurt the other person and may damage ur relation forever…
but otherwise when things are normal we deal with those resentments well enough and dnt mention them all the time…so we live with them…
but wen u let it all out in anger do u really mean it??? do u regret later..and how do u assure the other person after its all over that u dint mean any of it…
personally i think wen we are said things in anger we get to know of how ppl really think of us…and where we stand in their lives…its like a sip of reality…
altough all this happy go lucky thing makes everyday of our lives…but when bitter realities surface upp..it can hurt really bad..specially when ur closely related..
but its not reality..when someone is angry with someone else they will say things to try to hurt them really really bad on purpose..its not about truth..its about hurting them..striking them with words
you know its our culture. After taking care of our butt for decades even if our own blood say some thing out of anger. we cant just let it go, for the rest of our lives.
Do we really “mean” what we let out in anger? Hmm, I think that we tend to “mean” our frustrations. But we may not “mean” the INTENSITY of our words or even our word choice, if that makes sense. For example, you might scream at your spouse and say “I’m sick and tired of you not picking up after yourself.” That’s a frustration that you would “mean.” But when you say “You’re the biggest LOSER I’ve ever seen and I don’t see how I could have every wanted to marry you.” The word choice is intense…colored with rage…and you may not “mean” it. When you calm down, you might realize that your spouse is not the BIGGEST loser in the world and that there might be bigger loser out there than him/her. Some parts you mean and some parts you don’t. And other times…depending upon the situation and how badly and how often the person has hurt you…you mean every single letter of every single word you utter.
Yes and no. I’ve said “I hate you” to my loved ones in the heat of anger. But I don’t really hate them. It’s just that I was frustrated. And it’s not the loved one that I hate…it’s more the action or habit that I hate. And it is also said that the more you love someone, the more you hate. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin…there’s a very fine line between them…and the two emotions are very similar. It also depends upon how close you are to the person. You may not truly mean the word “hate” for a loved one (parent, sibling, spouse, best friend)…but you may mean it for someone you don’t feel that close to such as a coworker, classmate. It’s complex, can’t always generalize.
I’m not trying to justify the hurling of hurtful words in anger. Islamically, we’re advised to control our tongues and to avoid anger. But…keep in mind…that we have a sort of baytakalluf and relaxed attitude with the people that we live with. We’re soooooooooo comfortable around them that we don’t hesitate to let anything fly out of our mouths. It’s human nature. We tend to be more calmer and patient with those who are not related to us…than we are related to. At the same time…we’re more DEFENSIVE and PROTECTIVE of those that we’re related to…no matter how imperfect they may be.
You are most weak when you are angry . There is a reason why anger is Haram in Islam . There is no other option but to control it . Once you said something then its a done deal , very hard to lick your own spit .
Disgusting way to put it, but it's true. But sometimes, saying harsh words to another person may cause them to always think what else you want to say to them. Choose your words wisely, even in anger, because it can come back to bit you in the butt later on in a way you never ever expected.
One thing I learned from my hubby is not to argue when emotions are running high. Wait out the anger and continue when you can debate calmly and without emotion.
When emotions are running high and you say something really nasty, it can never be UNsaid. There will always be the question in your mind about whether it was meant. No apology, no gift will ever erase those nasty words.
Although I believe whatever you say in ager or heat of argument is sitting somewhere deep into your mind. No one "creates" things not even in heated arguments.
I personally (i try to )keep my mouth shut when angry. I try not to argue when temperaments are running high coz there is no use.
When i hav an argument with my hubby ive learnt to keep my BIG FAT MOUTH SHUT otherwise i just cum out with anything....he hates it when i talk bk to him when his angry..it makes his blood boil even more!!!!!! lol...