Re: In need of good advice (inlaws)
Hello all,This is my first post here but I have been lurking around here for a while now.my situation seems to be unique so your forum hasn’t been much of a help. Anyway, I decided to post my problem since I have no idea how to handle it anymore. I am typing from my iPhone so bear with me please.I live with in laws that I support financially for the most part. I never fancied the idea but did it for the love of my husband. Anyway, they are wonderful and caring people but I am quite selfish. I don’t like this living arrangement and I never thought I would be supporting them financially. I don’t do Anyhing at home except cleaning my room and doing our laundry. My mil does everything though I have never told her to do any of it. I work, come home, eat, then go to sleep. I have been married for a year And it’s Ben the same routine. I keep our talks as short as possible because unlike what they think of me, I am quite thE opposite. I am outspoken and a very much a feminist. I don’t really like desi food or the culture and my mil is very traditional and cooks only desi stinky fOod. I am allergic to garlic, the fumes of her cooking send me into a horrible rage. I just walk out of the house because I can’t say anything to her because I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I just want to live like an adult without parents for once in my life. I am in my twenties, I have a great career but I don’t know anything about running a household. I don’t want anyone to train me either. I want to experience adulthood on my own- not with my inlaws. I only know how to cook Chinese food and my inlays don’t like it. I tried cooking desi food but I hate taking instructions from anyone and his mOther won’t stop telling me to do things her way. Now I don’t want to learn how to cook desi food at all. She treats me like her daughter who is 20 and goes to school. I don want to be treAted like I child or her daughter. Anyway, I want to live alone. I have been dealing with a lot of crap that only seems to be my issue because I am an outsider for them but somehow it’s not an issue for them that I support them financially way more then my husband. Also, they seem to forget to include me in any bid family discussions. I don’t Know what’s fair or unfair. I just want my home and feel like I am married and not forced to run a family I don’t want to. My biggest problem rigt now is that all this is bottling up inside me And I am growing hateful, resentful, angrier, and *******r. I and my husband are fighting a lot more because I lose my temper very quickly. I am anything but patient. I can sense that it’s affecting our relationship and he is liking me less and less everyday. One more thing, I feel I am losing respect for his family and I Don’t care about what they thin as much as I did before. How do I sop this from happening? Financially, we are doing great but not enouh to buy two separate houses to house both families. His sister keeps making him feel bad about not having a bigger place indirectly. She and her husband keeps suggesting stupid ideas like buying a gas station so we could make more money. We both have professional jobs. I don’t understand their problem. Anyway, how do I stop this growing change inside me? What can I do?
And then people open threads asking “Why do most men not want their wives to work?”
I sure dont mind a working wife but if she ends up thinking she is supporting my parents than I really dont want a working wife.