In love with the married guy who is friend of mine

[Melodrama]

@""sonnykuri""

How can i think of her pov when she is clearly the most stubborn and doesn’t even respect my guy. You have to respect each other in marriage as a couple. Other day she threw lamp on him and was bleeding from his head. Didn’t even complaint to no-one. While he hadn’t even touched her.
And why you may ask/ Because he brought wrong fruit from the store. She is psycho!!. I told him to divorce her ass out then she learns this lesson and stop domestic abuse. And this is not the first time she had hurt him physically. Don’t tell me it’s his wife so she can do whatever she wants.
I can’t tolerate being hurt like this. He had a good meeting with a lawyer today.

its very shocking that you are calling him your guy. No he is not your guy. He is MARRIED to another woman. You have not installed CCTV in their bedroom so you really dont what exactly is happening there. Remember, he DID NOT choose you when you were with him in university. He chose you when he was being bored, lol. Women like you are disgrace to women community. Stop putting down other women, just for the sake of taking her place. YOU ARE BREAKING THEIR HOME. GET OFF THEIR CASE. YOU DESERVE A SINGLE GUY. ARE YOU SHORT OF MEN AROUND YOU?

[Doppleganger]

@""sonnykuri""

I am 25 years old single girl been in love with the married guy. Before you all jump on me, met him at university when he was senior while i was sophomore. We were very good friends and fate took the turn and we both moved away from each other and disconnected

]2 years later, we happened to meet at the mutual friend’s wedding. i found that he was already married. But we did exchanged numbers. We then started talking to each other week later and here we are 2 years, we both emotionally involved into each other. His wife has been suspicious of him. I met his wife too - long story.

What i know is, he is not happy with his marriage or with his wife. His was love marriage and constantly tells me he is not attracted to his wife and wants to end his marriage. He has no kids. He tells that she is very manipulative and controlling. And have anger issues. He is planning to leave his wife for me. Don’t know when but he did promise me that he would leave her. It was his love marriage with her.

I?ve noticed I?ve become too attached even though that wasn?t my intention. I am jealous when he goes back to her. I sort of get stuck into thinking about all of the what if?s. I miss him all the time. We have some much chemistry physically that it drives me crazy and I feel like I can never get enough.

We usually see each other once or twice a week. He told me, he will let his wife go for me so her and i feel i am stuck between the rock.

Can someone help me?. And there is no way that i can leave him. He is very sweet and loving guy. Has anyone been in my situation before?. Do you think he will leave his wife for me?

You never had boyfrands in the last 12 years?

IMO if he is balding fat uncle like nawaz sharif then there are few chances of him going full tharki unless if he is rich. If he is RICH and HANDSOME then fuhgeddaboudit. No way will he stay with a moti but not toned kaali.

[Illuminate]

For your own well being you need to take some time away from this guy. He needs to decide if he wants to work on his marriage or not and then take some time to himself to heal and grow before he ever comes to you to start a new relationship. Its unhealthy to jump from relationship to relationship.

If you’re having doubts, something is wrong.

Also, I don’t even want to comment on the fact you were emotionally involved with a married man at this point. Not sure this will ever resonate with you on how wrong that is. You should have not even developed a relationship with him in the first place. If his wife is messed up that’s for him to figure out BEFORE he gets involved with someone else. He is more at wrong because he vowed to being in an committed relationship with her and is doing all this stuff on the side. Makes one wonder what kind of character he upholds. His wife’s behaviour is no excuse for him to to do this to her. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Suggest you not wait your life away on someone like this.

[akaprincess]

so @sonnykuri .. .whats the latest update? I hope you have at least thought about what people have posted here

[sonnykuri]

@""akaprincess""

OP - what do you define as cheating? In your case, you are having relations with a married man.. what would he have to do for you to consider him cheating on you once you two are together.? A kiss with another woman? A handshake? Sleeping together? There is also emotional cheating too. What are your thoughts on that?

You should think of her point of view as well.. its called empathy… if you two end up together, and he started seeing another girl on the side, how would that make you feel? And dont think for a second he would never do that, because he is already doing that to someone else. So he is very capable of such.

from your post, you say that you have been physical already. Yet, after the physical relations, now he wants to make it halal? I am no religious expert however, How is this halal, when he has a wife yet, has physical relations with you?

Tread carefully on the path you are about to embark. Open your eyes a little in the face of love

I admit i have been talking with him and not supposed to when he was married. I accept this. But since we have been very close in college time. So my intention was never bad. The more we started talking the more we gotten close to each other.
We do love each other and nothing will change from our commitment to each other. The way she treats him utterly dis-respectful. His wife has been told off by numerous friends of hers to stop treating him badly.
And she never listens to anyone.

Anyway it is not about her anymore. He told her that he no longer wants to stay together with her and she can move out in due time. And also told her he wants to be with someone else. Since then she went back to her family for now and it’s been quiet.
She has been texting him non-stop, begging and crying since then. I told my guy to block her or change his number so she doesn’t bother you anymore.

[sonnykuri]

@""akaprincess""

so @sonnykuri .. .whats the latest update? I hope you have at least thought about what people have posted here

He has to wait for one full year until their separation is complete for full divorce.

[Kinzz]

@""sonnykuri""

I admit i have been talking with him and not supposed to when he was married. I accept this. But since we have been very close in college time. So my intention was never bad. The more we started talking the more we gotten close to each other.

**You might accept that you were wrong in starting a friendship with a married guy, but I still don’t think that you fully understand the gravity and the depth of your mistake.

Just because you both were “close” in the college days did not give you the right to continue chatting with him once you knew he was married.

Now please tell me would you like it if your husband started chatting with a former college friend that he used to be close to? If you answer “No”…then that should give you an idea about how wrong your actions were…if your zameer (conscience) is able to accept this.**

We do love each other and nothing will change from our commitment to each other. The way she treats him utterly dis-respectful. His wife has been told off by numerous friends of hers to stop treating him badly.And she never listens to anyone.

**Have you witnessed with your own eyes that her friends have told her to stop treating him badly…or is this something that her husband told you?

This guy might be very, very sweet with you. But do you live in their home or do you sleep in their bedroom that you know 100% about how he talks to her and treats her? Maybe her anger is a reaction to the negative way that her husband behaves with her. But anyway, you will find out once you start living with him.**

Anyway it is not about her anymore. He told her that he no longer wants to stay together with her and she can move out in due time. And also told her he wants to be with someone else. Since then she went back to her family for now and it’s been quiet.
She has been texting him non-stop, begging and crying since then. I told my guy to block her or change his number so she doesn’t bother you anymore.

And as a woman you don’t feel any reham or compassion in your heart to know that she is in a state of desperation and crying and begging her husband? How would you feel if you were in the same desperate situation and some girl had given your husband the same advice that you gave him (block her)…?

**Sonnykuri, when you started chatting with a married man and you both became closer and closer day by day…then as a result your chatting removed this guy’s heart further and further away from his wife.

I will give you an example. A child has an old toy that he has played with for a long time. Then somebody waves a NEW toy in front of the child’s face every single day. Phir to …that child’s heart is no longer going to be interested in the old toy anymore. The child is going to be so mesmerized by the new toy and old toy main to woh qeeray nikalay ga. Now do you understand what effect your chatting had on this woman’s life? Now do you understand why pretty much NOBODY is supporting your role in this circumstance in this thread?**

**His wife must have noticed changes in his behavior after you both started chatting. She must have noticed that he is not looking at her much anymore, that he is not that invested or interested in her anymore. She must have noticed that he seems distracted by something else. Do you think that these changes in her husband’s body language and attitude did not hurt her feelings? Did you expect his wife to feel happy?

Please don’t be so naive as to think that he must have acted normal with his wife when you and him and were chatting. When someone falls in love, it changes their body language and their actions and that will affect others. Please don’t think that you played a minor role in the breakdown of their marriage. You played a significant role!**

**If his marriage was going through a rough patch during the time that you met him and rekindled your friendship and chatting with him, the the proper solution for him would be to seek the help of a marriage counselor or family intervention. Chatting and confiding in former college friend is NOT the way to fix his marriage.

When you end up married to this guy and if you start watching him like a hawk and keep him away from the nazar of every larki…that is maybe when you will realize with more clarity where you went wrong.**

[akaprincess]

@Kinzz, one of the big problems in this scenario is that she doesn’t see it any other way because she specifically said “I am me and she is she” and therefore she lacks empathy… if this was not a missing component, only then may she be able to see what everyone is telling her..

@sonnykuri, a year is a long time to wait, but if you’re determined to make it work with this guy, all I can say is good luck cuz you really will need it.. and pray things work out for all three people involved in this triangle

[Mademoiselle]

People really think whatever dumb excuse they come up with to justify their questionable actions will keep them safe from karma. I hope your and your beloved guy’s love will be strong and protective enough for eachother against payback from above, for now feel free for some well earned wedding inspo in the wedding section (and see you in a few years time back here for some "I told you so’s) <3

[sonnykuri]

karma would only hit me if I treat him bad or disrespect him. Men or Women, no-one deserves to be be disrespected. 1 year is lot of time but we will get our nikkah done in few months.
His wife sent him huge email begging him to come back and not to divorce her. It may be shocking for you all but i told him it is up to you if you want her back but tell her you want to marry me too.
I am willing share him but it is all up to him.

[krash]

Looks like the wife is willing to fix her marriage and correct her disrespectful behavior. Is he willing to give her a chance? Are you the only reason he won’t?

[Kinzz]

@""sonnykuri""

karma would only hit me if I treat him bad or disrespect him. .

You disrespected his wife when you decided to remain in contact with a married man. And that is where your karma would come from.

Not once did you answer my question that …**How would you like it if your husband started chatting with a girl from from his college days even if your marriage was troubled? **Why? Are you afraid? Are you ashamed? Or are you trying to protect your ego/zameer/conscience by ignoring this question. Have the guts to answer this question.

[Mademoiselle]

@""Kinzz""

You disrespected his wife when you decided to remain in contact with a married man. And that is where your karma would come from.

Not once did you answer my question that …**How would you like it if your husband started chatting with a girl from from his college days even if your marriage was troubled? **Why? Are you afraid? Are you ashamed? Or are you trying to protect your ego/zameer/conscience by ignoring this question. Have the guts to answer this question.

When I read her reply I gave up. Sometimes only karma and dhoka open blind people’s eyes. Ah love.

She probably thinks she doesn’t need to answer your question because she WILL be able to keep him faithful LOL

[IsaidwhatIsaid]

I almost want wifey to come on here and give her side of the story. OP does seem to be an unreliable narrator and is probably coping with her situation.

[Doppleganger]

You should get in touch with her so we can complete the full circle on this geo kanjar drama!

[Sheeda_Pistol_1]

You are in a haram relationship with this guy. Fear Allah.

Just my two cents.

[Doppleganger]

We want your $10k opinion.

[akaprincess]

so @sonnykuri , what happened?

[sonnykuri]

What happened? He has divorced his wife and we are getting married in December. He didn’t want to live with that abusive retard. He told his family and i told mine.