Re: In-Laws
^ Awwwy, I love my mummy, and my daddy!
How will I ever leave them? Reha appi, you made me cry :(
Re: In-Laws
Whose DNA do I have running in my veins? My mama
Who carried me for 9 months? My mama
Who fed me, clothed me, took care of me and paid for every little wipey that I used to wipe my nose? My mama
Is my MIL the same as my mama? Nopesy
On the day of Judgement, will my MIL or FIL's name be used to identify me? Nopesy
Does MIL deserve respect, courtesy and care? Absolutely.
Has she replaced my mother? Nopesy.
Will she ever? Nopesy.
I dont think anyone said MIL can replace your real mother. But that shouldnt mean they are witches or after your life.
Btw i really like your list seems like you have it all well sorted. BUT only if we women also realise that the husband perhaps have same feelings for his mother too. So why does it become so hard for the wives to digest that?! Huh.
Re: In-Laws
Whose DNA your husband have running in his veins? His mama
Who carried him for 9 months? His mama
Who fed him, clothed hin, took care of him and paid for every little wipey that he used to wipe his nose? His mama
Is his wife the same as his mama? Nopesy
On the day of Judgement, will his wife's name be used to identify him? Nopesy
Does wife deserve respect, courtesy and care? Absolutely.
Has she replaced his mother? Nopesy.
Will she ever? Nopesy.
:=)
Re: In-Laws
You wont ever leave them…you’ll always be with them and make sure they feel that way too.
As girls, its upto us how we choose to manage our homes. If you make it so your husband gets this little concept, you will never feel you left them.
Husband’s feelings towards his parents are given top priority…thats why you see the joint family system so rampant in desi society. The joint family system is ALL about the husband’s parents…saas bhi kabhi bahu thi is all about the susraal of a woman…meaning a man’s parents. When you think of the word “saas”, it brings to mind a boy’s mother…not a girl’s. So, its always been about a man and what his mother wants.
A family is a unit…sabko saat leke chalna is what its all about. As long as people recognize that shaadi ke baad maan baap ka rishta pheeka NAHIN parta…life would be great.
Re: In-Laws
Im sure you strongly believe everything you write. However, my argument was not about wife versus MIL…so your response above is random.
I dont think I care to ever replace my MIL in my husband’s life. Why would you want to be seen as his mother? Who does? Yuck! That is a sick thought.
I think its more about making sure this susraal concept dies down and people realize that its not just the man that has parents, its a woman too.
Half the issues that women talk about here are because of the damn joint family system that makes husband’ family seem like God when they’re far from it. In Pakistani Islam, people actually believe joint family system is in Islam…
Dont worry, I used to feel the same way. Its just a phase.
Re: In-Laws
Maybe you don’t BUT believe me most girls nowadays goes into the marriage believing they have replaced the MIL and they get to keep the son all to theirself. That’s the biggest issue in marriage nowadays from what i hear. I am not saying the inlaws are saints but when somebody new comes into the family with such plans/thoughts, then i m sure its hard to accept them or like them.
Yes, you are right that most men expect their wives to look after their parents/family but forget that the girl has a family too and both should be there for them too. It’s very wrong.
Re: In-Laws
I hope so! As much as you are right it is upto us how we do things, I do often think that my life would be simpler if I was a boy!
Lol, I can’t imagine me managing a home :-p But I will try.
Maham, I don’t feel that way at all, and I do think there are many others who don’t either.
My MIL to be refers to my parents as my fiances susural, & I actually burst out laughing when I heard.
Re: In-Laws
My MIL to be refers to my parents as my fiances susural, & I actually burst out laughing when I heard.
Ok? What's funny about that?
Re: In-Laws
Ok? What's funny about that?
It wasn't that funny, I don't know how to describe it, but it just sounded strange in a good way though :)
Just my crazy reaction I guess! It is good to know that he does have some kind of relationship with my parents, as most of the time it does seem to just be about me, & when I get married if that makes sense?
Re: In-Laws
It wasn't that funny, I don't know how to describe it, but it just sounded strange in a good way though :)
Just my crazy reaction I guess! It is good to know that he does have some kind of relationship with my parents, as most of the time it does seem to just be about me, & when I get married if that makes sense?
Oh ok. So you are basically trying to say that his mom is just saying it for the heck of it that your parents are his relatives "susral", when in real they dont really figure anywhere in his future plans :D?!. If so, you better make him understand their importance in your life now and for future too.
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^ Lol, Maham don't say that :-p
I don't know what the actual deal is, I will leave that to sort out after. I just thought it sounded cute!
Re: In-Laws
^ Lol, Maham don't say that :-p
I don't know what the actual deal is, I will leave that to sort out after. I just thought it sounded cute!
I was only trying to understand your point of view. Anyways, Goodluck :)
Re: In-Laws
Whose DNA your husband have running in his veins? His mama
Who carried him for 9 months? His mama
Who fed him, clothed hin, took care of him and paid for every little wipey that he used to wipe his nose? His mama
Is his wife the same as his mama? Nopesy
On the day of Judgement, will his wife's name be used to identify him? Nopesy
Does wife deserve respect, courtesy and care? Absolutely.
Has she replaced his mother? Nopesy.
Will she ever? Nopesy.
:=)
Wife is a wife how can she ever be her husband's mother ?
plus DILs are also born and brought up by their moms. It's okay when they leave their parents but husband to mama ka bacha hota hai , he can not even go to bath room without informing his amma kay main jaa raha hoon. DIL ki apni mom bhi hoti hai same way as you mentioned above then why her MIL is forced upon her as a mother ......woh tumhari maa jaisi hai ? why ? Husband's mother should not be forced upon DIL because she is not her mother.
Re: In-Laws
Whose DNA your husband have running in his veins? His mama
Who carried him for 9 months? His mama
Who fed him, clothed hin, took care of him and paid for every little wipey that he used to wipe his nose? His mama
Is his wife the same as his mama? Nopesy
On the day of Judgement, will his wife's name be used to identify him? Nopesy
Does wife deserve respect, courtesy and care? Absolutely.
Has she replaced his mother? Nopesy.
Will she ever? Nopesy.
:=)
Cute stuff Maham, sadly most mother-in-laws fawn over their son-in-laws. The same cannot always be said for the boy's amma innit?
Re: In-Laws
@ maham’s cute post: yes she played the natural role of a mother. u got it. and how could a wife do all that 
lets not repeat the same [irrelevant] comments. Jut because a mother does all these “favors” on her child, I don’t think the son is “burdened” to repay anything.
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huh? maybe you think these are favors or burdens, atleast that’s not the way “normal”, “sane” people look at it. That’s just how Allah has made his people n these r their rights and duties.
wife can’t do that BUT she still wants preference over mother. Now how cute is that eh?! pls dont bother replying to me if you are gonna be as immature as you were with your earlier post.
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I hope so! As much as you are right it is upto us how we do things, I do often think that my life would be simpler if I was a boy!
Lol, I can't imagine me managing a home :-p But I will try.
Maham, I don't feel that way at all, and I do think there are many others who don't either.
My MIL to be refers to my parents as my fiances susural, & I actually burst out laughing when I heard.
I know men have it easy in so many ways...they can get away with it all and then no one catches them because you know...boys will be boys.
A lot of things wont make sound realistic right now because you're not there yet. Once you're there, you'll see how much pleasure you will get in doing things your way. Having a family, your own life, your own routine, relationship with your husband, etc. So how you choose to manage it is how it will be forever...think about that.
It wasn't that funny, I don't know how to describe it, but it just sounded strange in a good way though :)
Just my crazy reaction I guess! It is good to know that he does have some kind of relationship with my parents, as most of the time it does seem to just be about me, & when I get married if that makes sense?
It probably sounded a little weird because so far...I am sure this entire thing has been about you getting married and your susraal. Its strange to see your family being referred to as his susraal and him even having a susraal.
Re: In-Laws
I really don't think DIL's think of their MIL's as "competition".
Re: In-Laws
Whose DNA do I have running in my veins? My mama
Who carried me for 9 months? My mama
Who fed me, clothed me, took care of me and paid for every little wipey that I used to wipe my nose? My mama
Is my MIL the same as my mama? Nopesy
On the day of Judgement, will my MIL or FIL's name be used to identify me? Nopesy
Does MIL deserve respect, courtesy and care? Absolutely.
Has she replaced my mother? Nopesy.
Will she ever? Nopesy.
Guys have same feelings too......just like 100 times more...
Re: In-Laws
Whose DNA your husband have running in his veins? His mama
Who carried him for 9 months? His mama
Who fed him, clothed hin, took care of him and paid for every little wipey that he used to wipe his nose? His mama
Is his wife the same as his mama? Nopesy
On the day of Judgement, will his wife's name be used to identify him? Nopesy
Does wife deserve respect, courtesy and care? Absolutely.
Has she replaced his mother? Nopesy.
Will she ever? Nopesy.
:=)
just wondering, are you married/live with the in-laws?