I am pregnant with my first baby MashAllah and now its 12th week. I haven’t told anyone other than my mom and husband. But today after my first ultrasound and first time hearing my baby heart beat, i decided to tell everyone about my pregnancy. But, when my husband told his parents about my pregnancy they all are quite ( even not giving any dua or congrats) . I think they are angry because we haven’t told them before. But like i said before i haven’t told anyone even my sisters. I don’t know what to do now?
they are nice with me but making my pregnancy a very big issue. On the other hand my family is so happy and excited about my first baby.
Don’t worry. Just be open and share this exciting time with them. The tensions will ease as everyone is awed by the miracle of life. Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and baby.
Of course they are upset you didn’t share the news with them sooner. It’s understandable. This is as much their grandchild as your parents’ – and neither you nor your husband told them until you were three months along! It’s a little insulting, frankly. They’re not awara public and random aunties who would gossip about the pregnancy. You’re setting a precedent for excluding them from the big moments in your life and that’s hurtful. I highly doubt they’re going to just “get over it”. Maybe if you’d chosen to trust them with your news instead of assuming they wouldn’t respect your wishes for privacy, they’d also be just as happy for you, but you can’t honestly hide news this big from them for three months and then complain.
My dad and myself were the first people my brother and bhabi told when they found out, and I totally respect them for that.
They had just come back from the doctors after having it confirmed. My dad got so much joy in calling her dad up telling him that he was going to be a nana.
Totally agree with SGC. They are not angry bout u being pregnant… They are angry at being kept in the dark.
Their anger is justified. It takes guts to do what you have done… You have treated them like outsiders… Don’t whine later on if they treat your child or you any less.
If they feel hurt/excluded but that was not your intent, I think you can show them that by keeping them informed/involved as the pregnancy progresses. Do your best to keep your intentions positive and focus on your growing child. The rest is up to them.
Should have shared with both grandparent sides. From their point of view, they would be upset as they are equally attached to your child as your parents. You showed bias by ignoring your husband’s parents, not realizing the two grandparent sides should be treated equally.
Do your inlaws know that you shared the news with your mom at the time you found about it,but did not tell them…??..If so,who told them this bit of info..??(because only you and your husband and mom knew about it..!)
Because if they know this,they have every right to feel left out and be annoyed about it or even be mad about it.It was not the right way to do it.
But if not,then what happened to the thing when it was ok for the expectant couple to share the news once the pregnancy was beyond the few initial weeks and they were more comfortable sharing the news with close family and letting the extended family know…??
In either case,whats done is done…make them a part of the rest of the 6 months of the pregnancy,keep them involved.Hopefully they will come around…all the best…iA.
I think they have right to know about my pregnancy but they don’t have right to tell everyone in the family ( like they did with my jethaani ). we were just avoiding all the questions and demands from my husband family, like my mother in law just want grandson etc.
we kept this as a secret because we both was not believing about being pregnant. As by the third week i just had my blood work after the ultrasound when we both saw by our eyes we were satisfied and told my in laws on same day.
On the other side when my nand ( husband sister) can hide every small thing from her in laws who live very close to my home. And she is right every time so why don’t me ( it was not by planing ). Just because i am daughter in law of the house. I am not comparing myself with her.
I told them that my mom know’s about that because she live close to my house she can take care of me, i can ask anything and she can help me, but on the other side my in laws will be just talk with my husband as they are doing since last few months even though they are having free calling 24x7.
I am not sure that physical distance between homes should have been a criteria for who knows what and when …!!
Or whatever the nand does with her inlaws.If you had told your own mom for whatever reason,you should have kept that piece of info to yourself,to avoid any bitter feelings.
Anyways what is done is done…don’t let it ruin this time for you.Keep your family and ILs involved and do not let petty feelings come in between.
All the best and wishing you a happy and safe pregnancy…iA…
you shouldn’t have told them that you told your mom. Honestly, nothing awful is happening in the first 13 weeks that you have to tell inlaws that your mother needed to take care of. God for bid if you had serious health concerns in the 1st 13 weeks, then your inlaws should be informed about your health issues too.
