Have you grown up having grudges against one side of your family (exended family like aunts, uncles, and grandparents) because of how you’ve seen them treat one of your parents?
Re: In-Law Problems Affecting Kids
Yes, it is quite common in Pakistani society.
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I used to see my paternal side of the family differently and they were all very loving and caring. But after my dad's death, most of the people turned out to be very unreasonable. I have a first hand experience of how your relatives change after your parents passed away. Its more because how I have seen them behave with my mom and also us in the absence of my dad.
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My mom's in-laws were not very kind to her but she always told us good stuff about them and made excuses for them, so I never hated them...
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Why not? It’s kind of like growing up with a grudge against one gender.
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I have no grudge. I loooooove men.
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your nose grew 6 inches…
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^
PCG’s nose is the same size. She said she loves men… She didn’t mention her love about DESI men :halo:
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^ Oh snap!
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good point…i retract my statemnet…
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yeah i think its a natural feeling to have some sort of resentment to anyone who has hurt your parents in anyway.
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my grandma used to lure me with cantaloupes dired seeds (?) into her room , just 10 mins after having a mahabharat with my mom. I cant complain 
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yes, its hard not to when you see them hurting someone you love, even if your parents don't talk about it.
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I grew up not noticing any problems etc in the way anyone treated my parents, particularly cos my parents were extremely careful not to mention their problems with family people in front of me. I've been raised in a very non-biased way, and I love it. Now that I'm older of course I see odd things in the way someone behaves/talks to my parents and yeah it hurts, but I try to see the whole picture. And when I do, honestly it doesn't seem that bad then. I'm not gonna hate/disrespect someone when they have some issue with my parents - that's their thing. I'm still gonna be respectful to them. Of course, if it's blatantly outrageous/wrong then I will hate them. My husband has some crazy grudges against his paternal in-laws, and some of them are really unreasonable and have damaged good relationships he had with cousins. My MIL is great, but I do kind of think it's her fault. Maybe she did it unconsciously, idk, but my husband sees no fault with his maternal relatives but sees everything wrong with his paternal ones and that's cos his mom always talks about both in that way. =/ It's really hard, but I think it's good to try and keep kids out of making judgements on people. Idk if that even made sense lol.
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yes - phuppo and dadithey make life hell on a daily basis its hard not to hate them but yet i try and treat them with respect due to other rishtay now. may allah help us.
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I think it depends entirely on your mother.
If she is all ga-ga about her family, most probably you will be so too until realizationtime. Same goes for the inlaws, if she hates them, you're probably going to hate them as well.
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I agree with the above, it depends on whether your parents let you see how much it affects them. My parents have always shielded me from crap from relatives/in-laws, but I have cousins whose parents have involved them so much in their arguments and brought them up to resent certain people purely because their parents don't like them. It's really not a good attitude and can actually mess with the kids heads like that.
I also really don't like it when adults purposely are rude to or start fights with kids of people they don't like, so that they can take advantage of the kids weaker points or just so that they can take out their grudges on the kids.
Haven't had this happen to me personally, but again, seen it happen a lot, half of the family troubles/fights I've seen are always over something that happened 20 years ago and which someone's vowed never to forget etc etc.
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nope.
my parents didnt speak badly about family members, hence never had any negativiy towards any family member.
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I a bit late but I'll write something anyway.
I realize that my Dad's family played big role in destroying my parents marriage. I don't remember much, because I was very young when we were living with his parents. But my mom did tell me about it all, as she had no one to confide into and we were sort of in it with her, not living with our dad and all. her narrative checks out, as my dad's Diaries speak volumes about his parents attitude towards him and my mom. I still visit my Grandma every 2 weeks, but it's sort of forced cause while my Dad hasn't live with us since I was 3 he still paid for my eduction. So I basically comply out of fear, fear of losing the cash flow. It's a pretty screwed up situation, but I'm still grateful to my Dad for paying for our lives up till now, but I resent him for screwing up my childhood and dumping me in Pakistan.
Phew
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yes. i do wish all the best to my phuphos but deep down i hv a dislike for them as they were extremely mean to my mum when she came to their house as a newly wed bride. also, their bad attitude towards her continued for many yrs till mom and phuphos broke all ties.
sad.