Why is it that many Pakistani wives refer to their husbands like that? Is it rude to call them by their name? And another famous one is, “Suniyehh” in order to get their attention. I mean, rather than that, wouldn’t you just say, “darling” or “dear” or something.
I guess its just a quanit old traditional and polite way to call one another. Maybe not too hip now...but heck I think its very nice and very cute.
words like darling or dear seem so ugly coming from aunties who are in somewhat of a clownlike makeup with belly rolls hanging out of the blouse and the strange dome of messed up wanna be like lady Di haircut.
>>>>I think its very nice and very cute<<<<
Not only the 'other' words are used out of respect & shyness but also out of love.
Its one of the triditions that I would like to stick to! :)
so Cat, how will you address me?
mangelo, you already know how I refer to you.
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You don’t want me to say it out loud for everyone to see do you?
This is similar to the Hindu custom of wives not taking the name of their husband. So in the beginning they start by calling hin "suniye" or "Suno jee" then it becomes "aap suun rahe hain??" then it becomes "Suno" "Sunte hain ??"
By this time kids appear. Then it becomes "saleem ka Abba" or whetever. yes very cute. This "darling" business to anglicised. very foreign. reminds me of colonial days of the British.
LOL @ Tanha’s comment. I felt like the last word would be “OYE”
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A pakistani family who lives here have a young kid of 2-3 years and we good friends. I visited them after a while and he said to me “suniye”. I hadn’t realised it earlier that his mother calls her husband with this title. I really liked these words “suniye”.
I guess the reason for using these words in the asian society is that because normally wife is younger than her husband and calling elders by name is not considered a nice thing. IMHO.
How do you all feel about husbands calling their wives "Begum" I find that quite royal and cute.
i dont like 'darling' and 'honey' at all.
It is all about the respect a wife has to give to her husband. The wife always refers to her husband as "aap" and never takes his name, traditionally speaking. I was discussing this with my mum. But I think gradually girls are beginning to refer to their husbands by their first names. How do you guys feel about this? I'd really like to know.
I think calling by name is the best way. and don’t call the name same way that others call. For example Mrs ChannMahi calls me Channu…and that sounds so sweet. Others call me Chann ji and Mahi sahib etc. She also calls me sometimes Channu babe… Sililarily I call her Channi babe
hehe that's quite cute chan ji. Similarly, my mother calls my dad Ashi, short for Ashraf which no-one else calls him. It's super cute! But I've noticed that husbands would flip if their wives ever referred to them as "tum".
[quote]
Originally posted by Fraudz:
**
words like darling or dear seem so ugly coming from aunties who are in somewhat of a clownlike makeup with belly rolls hanging out of the blouse and the strange dome of messed up wanna be like lady Di haircut.
**
[/quote]
Personally, I think the words darling and dear seem odd coming from even young married ladies' mouth. I have no problem hearing this word from someone who was born and raised over-seas. But my question is what the heck is wrong with those girls who spent their entire lives in Pakistan, got married to someone in U.S, moved here...and two days later, can't seem to remember how to speak Urdu appropriately???? They speak as if their Urdu accent is all twisted (as they claim speaking English is more natural for them). English phrases, sometimes even incorrectly, get substituted here and there between a perfectly normal Urdu conversation. And of course, they use the word darling and dear to refer to their hubbies. Really annoys the heck out of me.
Dopey Bhai, Desi logoo ko Gori chamri waale bohut pasand hai. 150 saal of the British in India and desi logoo ne Mem sahib ko je husoor kehna aaj tuk nahi bhoola hai. To be like the conquerors is a subltle unconscious desire.
[This message has been edited by Tanhaa (edited June 25, 2001).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Dopey:
** Personally, I think the words darling and dear seem odd coming from even young married ladies' mouth. I have no problem hearing this word from someone who was born and raised over-seas. But my question is what the heck is wrong with those girls who spent their entire lives in Pakistan, got married to someone in U.S, moved here...and two days later, can't seem to remember how to speak Urdu appropriately???? They speak as if their Urdu accent is all twisted (as they claim speaking English is more natural for them). English phrases, sometimes even incorrectly, get substituted here and there between a perfectly normal Urdu conversation. And of course, they use the word darling and dear to refer to their hubbies. Really annoys the heck out of me. **
[/quote]
Dopey just for you, I will bring one of my threads back form the past...I am sure you will enjoy it. its called desi- urdu, english and th ein between stuff
[This message has been edited by Fraudz (edited June 25, 2001).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Tanhaa:
**Dopey Bhai, Desi logoo ko Gori chamri waale bohut pasand hai. 150 saal of the British in India and desi logoo ne Mem sahib ko je husoor kehna aaj tuk nahi bhoola hai. To be like the conquerors is a subltle unconscious desire.
[This message has been edited by Tanhaa (edited June 25, 2001).]**
[/quote]
Oi! someone talkin' about me!????
Mem Sahib, Muaf karna, Nothing personal.
Lekin ek baat hai soochne ki. Hum logo-n ko gora rung kyon itna achcha lagta hai?
Bohut dino ki baat hai, ek shadi pe ek buzurg Khwateen ne bahu ko dekh ke kaha
"Wah kitni gori hai.. Paan kha-ay to gale main peek chamke "
Aur gaane bhee hia-n??
"Tere gore gore gaaloon pe kala kala til hai"
"Gore Gore O baanke chhoore, kabhi meri gali aa ya ya karo"
etc.
Hum kaale logoon ki defense main..
Hum kale hain to kya hua dil waale hain
Hum tere tere tere chahnay waale hain
[This message has been edited by Tanhaa (edited June 27, 2001).]
In our house even with mummy and papa or dada abba dadi amma
in the presence of company
they refer to each other as aap, and suniya
otherwise at home among us kids its suno and tum but never names
I have never heard dadi amma call dada abba by name or dada aba call dadi amma by her name
papa never calls mummy by name
but mummy calls papa by his first name
which sounds cute
I used to address faisal as aap and suniya waghera
the man hated it
so gradually six months into marriage i finally started using tum and suno and stuff
still i dont call him by his name
Six years of us together and i have never ever called him by his name
and he rarely calls me by my name yet sometimes he does take my name and it sounds really cute
but his usual name for me is guriya and i call him budday
i think its really cute ill like to b called like this
lol
cats good topic
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it just doesnt seems right. This family we know was over our house the other day. Aunty was basically sitting on uncle’s lap. I swear it was so embarassing, that i left from the living room. That wasnt it she was calling uncle ‘janu’ and ‘darling’ in front of my father and her brother-in-law(other party was doing the same
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). And they have 4 daughters, oldest one is around 13 she was sitting right in fron of them, youngest one is around 6.
i mean come on… besharmi ke bhe had hote hai…
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and my mom was quiet…