In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods..
On a Sears hairdryer – Do not use while sleeping.
(But that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos – You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(Is this the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap – “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(…And that would be???..)
On some Swanson frozen dinners – “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) – “Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding – “Product will be hot after heating.”
(…and you thought???..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron – “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine – “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid – “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(…I’m taking this because???..)
On most brands of Christmas lights – “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor – “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts – “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts – “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child’s Superman costume – “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish Chainsaw – “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)