Re: In a mess and what to do…
Even if her husband was to keep the children, the kids are still a part of the OP’s life…she’s their mother. And if she was to marry her “first love”…he would have to accept that the kids are a part of her life…that they would require a good deal of her time, energy.
When you don’t have kids…it’s easier to give more of that time to your significant other. When you do, that’s not the case. And not everyone wants to/or is able to marry someone who has kids. That is what I meant when I made that point.