A newly married friend told me that whenever she walks into the room where her husband and inlaws are sitting, they all go quiet suddenly and stop talking.
This makes her suspect that they are talking about her.
How should she handle this?
Re: Improper communication in marriage
Have her press the 'play' button on her ipod before she enters the room.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
I would be so irritated by this. But it could be that they might be talking about some random stuff and jokes that are ok in their family but because she has just joined there family they don't want to embarrass themselves in front of her. I am speaking from personal experience (I was on the in laws side) when my mamo got married, him and other members wouldn't do some jokes in front of her but this was out of politeness and not because we were talking about her. But now she joins in on all those stupid jokes.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
Eavesdrop?
Re: Improper communication in marriage
Maybe she can make a joke and say 'were you guys talking about me' in a really funny non threatening way, depends on the relationship she has with them really.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
I would be so irritated by this. But it could be that they might be talking about some random stuff and jokes that are ok in their family but because she has just joined there family they don't want to embarrass themselves in front of her. I am speaking from personal experience (I was on the in laws side) when my mamo got married, him and other members wouldn't do some jokes in front of her but this was out of politeness and not because we were talking about her. But now she joins in on all those stupid jokes.
I think that too. With her being new to the family and all they are probably not comfortable talking freely in front of/with her yet.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
Can she ask her husband about it ? If she does just make sure she does so in non-accusatory manner.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
why is she walking into the in-laws gathering?? she should respect their privacy…
Re: Improper communication in marriage
This sounds very disrespectful, creepy and shady.
She should seriously ask her husband in private why that keeps happening. She needs to be able to ask her husband anything and everything, they are married for goodness sake!
Re: Improper communication in marriage
well thats what happens when u marry into people u dont know .. dont trust .. just fo r the sake of getitng marreid !
Re: Improper communication in marriage
Yes you should always marry your cousins no matter what 
Re: Improper communication in marriage
They probably aren't talking about her at all.
It can be quite difficult at the start of a new relationship to mix within an already established household and awkward moments can arise.
She'd be best advised keeping the conversation going when she walks in to the room instead of feeling left out by maybe initiating a further conversation herself.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
I can understand her feelings. It sounds uncomfortable.
I would give it some time before doing anything and if she does do something...she should just ask hubby if her parents feel uncomfortable around her. Im sure she isnt but it gives husband a chance to see she isnt blaming them.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
they might be discussing that awful aunt who comes around too often..and they dont want to sound negative about their own family...chill its early days your new to the family and if you haven't done anything to make you flavour of the day,dont sweat the small stuff...
Re: Improper communication in marriage
Some possibilities:
They are afraid of her?
They respect her and want to be quiet when she is there.
They were planning something good and surprising for her.
Re: Improper communication in marriage
Actually they are talking about her…talking badly about her…wats called ‘chughal khori’ in urdu…‘backbiting’…that is why they all become suddenly quiet…
she should eaves drop…record it…and play it for the husband…get him worked up and a fight or a series of fights of the family with the husband will follow…and as situation gets more n more complex…it will be decided that the ‘couple’ should move far far away and no more visits by the wife to the in-laws…and there… you got it…all problems solved 