Imported Dulha

Lifestyle Relationships
21

For me it was never about the "fitting in" part but never wanting that "immigrant-spouse" life.....living apart, sponsoring them, no job security etc.

:D

22

:jhanda:

23

Re: Imported Dulha

Here is a kicker.

many (if not all) girls who in their teens (and in early 20s) were so opposed to the idea of importing dulha, not only end up importing one but they really live a happy life. They showoff their imported dulha proudly when guy makes a fortune here. Pity that they dont have courage later on to come out and let other girls know. :)

24

Re: Imported Dulha

Imported Dulha… :omg:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Ladies if you want to start a war import a dulha. :k:

25

yeah imagine all the guest being told that wedding on coming weekend has been cancelled because we were unable to pay custom duty on dulha :smiley:

26

Re: Imported Dulha

Or worse case scenario they import a Dulha from the most backward and volatile province… :hehe:

Imagine the riot at the wedding :rotfl:

27

I am not sure what it is but a lot of young desi girls think very highly of themselves and dulhas from pakistan just seem like an insult for them.. i don't think there is anything wrong with this at all as long as they girl and guy can have understanding and he is willing to fit in with her and vice versa..
My husband is from pakistan and after just 2 years of living here.. it's hard to say that he moved here 2 years ago..
So where ever the dulha is from what matters is a couple's understanding with each other!

28

Good topic, but let me raise a few points.

Doctors can come to North America without getting married too, if they are skilled/qualified enough. They dont necessarily have to find a 'spouse'.

[quote]

Somehow women living in America / UK still think that guys from back home won't be able to fit in . Again wrong . I know guys literally fresh of the plane and talking to me in (almost) perfect American accent . We should realize that media has changed a lot of things in Pakistan .

[/quote]
I dont blame them, neither do I blame the guys back home. Trust me, its only the ones that goto elite schools/colleges that can easily fit in. For them, its not the media but access to quality American/British schools which generally is limited to the elite yet again.

[quote]

He only wants Green-card . This is the hardest part . But again so is the guy who drinks , do clubbing and sleep around , and only marrying you for moola . You have to trust someone at some point in time . Plus a guy with no financial / legal security will think twice before doing it .

[/quote]
You are making it sound like there are only two types of choices women have, i) greedy for green cards ii) greedy for money. What about women choosing the guys that are sincere and aren't doing it for either of the two?

[quote]

So let me close my arguments by saying that a well educated Pakistani man is a perfect fit for American/British culture , and women shouldn't be afraid to import them as husbands .
[/quote]
I wouldnt go that far, i.e. calling them a 'perfect' fit and women SHOULD infact be afraid and wary of 'importing' them.

For the qualified and skilled guys out there in Pakistan, if they can really come here, study or get jobs, why not take the challenging route and establish yourself here; see if you can easily adapt to the lifestyle and then get your own bleepin green cards through your employment and THEN marry someone. This way, the women would have less reservations and fears.

29

Re: Imported Dulha

i think if he is educated and not some lazy bugger then it shouldnt be a problem even guys born aboard r not perfect in fact far from it

30

The hard truth is: The real motivation for anyone in pakistan looking to marry someone in a foreign country is to settle abroad.

This may sound rude to some but this is a fact. Why would a Pakistani man, who can find all varieties of women in Pakistan, marry someone who lives far away and whom he hasn’t seen or met before?

Even if you are one unique case for whom settling abroad is not the primary motivation :), your in-laws will always doubt your intention and you will always be taunted as a visa seeker :stuck_out_tongue:

And then there are compatibility issues, no matter how liberal or westernized you are in Pakistan you will still be looked down as a conservative person or even paindoo.

I also live in Pakistan and (like everyone else) I’m also desperate to leave Pakistan :slight_smile: but I think there are still many other ways you can go and settle abroad :smokin:

31

Re: Imported Dulha

For me, its about never knowing their real intentions. Everyone wants to leave Pakistan. How do I know he wont leave me when he gets his GC? :(

32

:ASA:

33

Re: Imported Dulha

I don't worry about him fitting in here, but fitting with me.

34

Re: Imported Dulha

Well my main reason for this thread was to highlight a way of getting a spouse , which by all means I know is not the perfect solution . Its a fact that most of the Pakistani , well educated men who do come to the United States are very successful and most of the time fit well in this society . On the other hand a girl always have these doubts in her heart , which is very legit . May be it will work for you , and may be not . But again , if men can import dulhans all the time , and it works , then why not women .

35

Re: Imported Dulha

...right about now, i'd rather import rice.