important event in anyone`s life is marriage

[fallenpieta]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@Tashiqa

I beg to differ. External factors do matter, as does religion, culture, values, beliefs etc. Love goes out the window when there are financial pressures or cultural pressures. Yes islam does allow the inter-racial marriages but trust me its not as easy as one would like to believe. It is always better to marry someone who shares your culture and religion than having the extra stress on a marriage of having to make adjustments which one resents at some point. love is secondary. It is not the be all and end all in a marriage.
Samnizi what do mean by saying that just because one is not allowed to marry outside their culture it inevitably leads to affairs??? I don’t get it. There is no justification for having illicit relations. Not the inter mingling of opp. sexes, and certainly not because the women are not allowed to marry outside their culture.
Women can be both independent and modern and religious, keeping their moral dignity intact. Who says you can’t be successful in both worlds without being immoral?

I agree.

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

Here is a secret to a successful marriage girls, marry a guy with few options. Thank me later.

[shweetdreamz]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@Man with a Plan

Here is a secret to a successful marriage girls, marry a guy with few options. Thank me later.

whats a guy with few options?

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

A guy with few options is one who is responsible, professional and despite having or not having money, status and looks understands that he has an image and name to project.

[amana]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

^ I thought that a man with few options was one who is not a doctor or engineer... :)

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

^..lol not every guy can be a doctor just like not every girl can be a six feet supermodel.

Its about being responsible. When you are responsible in your life, you stay away from bad stuff.

[shweetdreamz]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@Man with a Plan

^..lol not every guy can be a doctor just like not every girl can be a six feet supermodel.

Its about being responsible. When you are responsible in your life, you stay away from bad stuff.

i agree with this part >* “Its about being responsible. When you are responsible in your life, you stay away from bad stuff”*

but the first part > “lol not every guy can be a doctor just like not every girl can be a six feet supermodel.”

what a chauv thing to say. so its like success for a guy is his salary/profession while for a girl its her physical assets?

[LegallyBrown]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

Relationship is like a Glue.

It requires all the ingredients in right quantity to work and love is just one of the ingredients.

Now if the glue is a cheap brand from the Dollar store then unfortunately its not gonna stick.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@shweetdreamz

i agree with mamaof3. when u're with a guy who loves u and u love him for who he is...then everything works out. u will respect him and he will respect u. u will make compromises that dont agree with your philosophy of life sometimes and he will respect your independence. the rest is all trivial.

i agree with fallenpieta....this is BS! The divorce rate in america is over 50% now...most of these marriages we not arranged...they were based on love and blah blah..what happened to the love when they signed the divorce papers?

there is much more to a marriage then just love.

[Jaded]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

LB^ nicely summed up .
yes love is an ingredient just like sugar in a sweet dish . it tastes less without it

[shweetdreamz]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@AnGeL EyEs

i agree with fallenpieta....this is BS! The divorce rate in america is over 50% now...most of these marriages we not arranged...they were based on love and blah blah..what happened to the love when they signed the divorce papers?

im sorry divorce and staying in a marriage dont mean jack sh*t unless u're happy. divorce rate is high because its easier to get one here and women can support themselves here....less and less social stigma attached to a woman living on her own. unlike eastern cultures.
alot of women stay in unhappy marriages. and thats what sucks.

and please point out WHERE i said there is nothing more to marriage than love. all i said was that if u love someone u are more likely to make compromises at any given point in time. why is everyone getting so hot and bothered over this or is this collective PMS ?

[Krypton]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

id NEVER go for an arranged marraige...its sick.
thoz women that dont get divorces in pakistan and else place..hv no other choice

[LegallyBrown]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

Divorce rate is higher in western countries compared to Desiland due to the fact that a woman is not looked down upon if she is divorced. She is not subjected to stupid comments by the jahil ganwar desis like some individuals on GS.
We all know who they are.

This is just GS a minority , imagine a divorced woman subjected to the wrath of a whole society, city, country.

Not all women are strong enough to withstand such uncalled for wrath just because some people make it their business to interfere into everyone else's lives cause theirs is as boring and colorless as.
Or are such women who themselves are trapped in a marriage thats going no where but dont have the guts to do anything bout it.

Secondly women arent educated or are just programmed to get married and have babies. Such women have no choice other than to stay in a marriage because if they dont then they cannot support themselves and their children on their own.

Thats why I say marriage in Desiland is like signing away to Legalized prostituion.
To have a roof over her head and food in her stomach a woman has to sleep with her husband for life.

[Krypton]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

many ppl here will disagree with this....but its the truth!

[Roshi]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

I agree with ppl here who say the only reason a woman in pak stays in a marriage even if she's unhappy is because financially she can not support herself and where the heck is she gonna go after she gets a divorce. life after divorce in pak would be very complicated for a woman.. which is the only reason the divorce rate is not as high as the western countries.

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

Great, so divorce is a man/ society's fault and women are victim, oh how am I not surprised.

@shweetdreamz

what a chauv thing to say. so its like success for a guy is his salary/profession while for a girl its her physical assets?

Where did I become a chauv SD, it is the truth. Stop putting everything into a light of feminism. Balancing act, double standards when both genders are expected and judged differently.

When women start choosing men on the basis of their heart and not money. We can change the standard too.

[irfan2222]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@amana

^ I disagree with both of you. Love does not "go out the window" in times of financial or cultural pressures. In fact, love is what enables my husband and I to work through any of these issues fairly easily and respectfully, as opposed to my devar and devrani, who although they are from the same culture, don't share any love or respect.

Intercultural marriages can be just as easy, if not easier than those between the same culture. The key is love, respect, and similar life goals. My husband and I have both made adjustments, but they are not really that much different than the adjustments that any couple makes - what to eat, how to budget, the basic household arrangements.

Most problems in intercultural marriages are caused by the people who are outside the marriage - in-laws, (out-laws), aunties, and so on. The best is to ignore them.

My 5 cent contribution is: love is what is left after all that glitter which the two people see while entering a relationship. If nothing is left fter the glitter, it ain't love...

[irfan2222]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@amana

^ Thank you.

Are you married? My husband and I have been married more than 15 years now, alhamdulillah. We have compromised many times, and there is nothing wrong with that. Compromise and sacrifice are parts of any marriage. Intercultural and interacial marriages aren't unique in this.

Do you think that you will have an easier time of it if you are married to someone from the same culture? What if your personalities are completely different and you don't love each other? If there is no love and respect behind the compromise, then that is where resentment comes in.

Totally agree...no wonder people married for 15 or so years know it all. I have been married for 18 yrs!

[irfan2222]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@Seedha Saada

Yes I am married and I can understand what meaning love has in a marital life and how important it is for the couple to be steadfast in containing the pressures of external pressures keeping their hope alive in the mesmirizing bondage of love in the face of every adverse happening. True that the real love has the power and potential to defeat the agreesive onslaughts of derivisive onslaughts of external factors. I dont doubt it but what I mean to say here that to make your love live in all the times of your marital life, you need to have your requirements fulfilled and in it comes the social cost of a marital life (love or arranged) The better one is equipped to defray such expenses as are actually worth defraying, the pressure on your love lightens, resulting in the more faith to face adversities. If for any reason the pressure is built up on continuous basis, chances are that the test may weaken your ability to keep on sacrificing.

Dude, take a chill pill...spare your wife from such phyc talk, as my 8 grader says to me, "dad KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid)."

[irfan2222]

Re: important event in anyone`s life is marriage

@shweetdreamz

whats a guy with few options?

I bet you are looking for one! I’m lost myself too what it really means, I guess what he meant he man with no proposals! I don’t think it is a tocket to a successful relationship (read my reply in “Shaadi Shuda Buddha”