To phir vo aisi larki ke peeche kyun jayein jo yahan pali barhi hai? That doesnt make sense… if the language barrier is that big where you obviously feel uncomfortable speaking English then people like that should marry in Pakistan and not here. Or find someone who has been here for a short amount of time.
Qissa Khatam.
My friend, you're talking about one person having some mad urdu skills and the other not able to understand a single word of urdu. The OP clearly understands urdu, but is just not fluent/confident in speaking it. Two completely different situations.
The confidence issue is huge. That's why I don't speak that much when in Pakistan, because I know everyone is gonna judge me on my urdu. Not to mention I also feel wierd speaking English there too, cause then everyone stares......
They fell in love...
Of course its not all about just working things out. I meant they fell in love and things worked out as a result of that. Meaning they got married, had children and now are very happy Mashallah.
Yes, it makes things easier when there is a common language between people. They can laugh, share jokes, humor, etc. But that doesnt make the love between people who dont share common language any less. Does it? If both speak English fluently then how is "i love you" less effective than "mein apse blah blah"?
Agree.
Similarity of language and understanding the language in depth can make relationship stronger.
We talk about similar hobbies, activities, similar thought process, liking/disliking the same things being good for compatibility and strength of relation, language is one of those qualities.
In essence what I wanted to say is that love does not get lesser with language incompatibility but language compatibility is just another factor which can make it stronger and enjoyable.
Agree.
Similarity of language and understanding the language in depth can make relationship stronger.
We talk about similar hobbies, activities, similar thought process, liking/disliking the same things being good for compatibility and strength of relation, language is one of those qualities.
In essence what I wanted to say is that love does not get lesser with language incompatibility but language compatibility is just another factor which can make it stronger and enjoyable.
It also allows both parties to teach other and to respect their differences and similarities.
My friend, you're talking about one person having some mad urdu skills and the other not able to understand a single word of urdu. The OP clearly understands urdu, but is just not fluent/confident in speaking it. Two completely different situations.
I can speak urdu however my grammer is terrible. I can understand it almost perfectly. However that does not impact my relationship with my husband (was raised here pretty much his whole life but speaks urdu very well) nor my inlaws who speak to me in urdu. Although I agree with you that parents should teach their children urdu, God knows my life would have been much easier! From what I've seen the majority of kids know urdu, but just hesitate speaking it due to lack of confidence.
Please see above what I wanted to convey. :)
If I am not mistaken, Faiz wife did have some 'shudh Budh' (understanding) of Urdu and perhaps she spoke some of it too.
Reha: I agree if it is important for someone to have language compatibility then the person should look for someone who has it. Just like any other qualities one looks for in a spouse.
It also allows both parties to teach other and to respect their differences and similarities.
True.
Agree.
Similarity of language and understanding the language in depth can make relationship stronger.
We talk about similar hobbies, activities, similar thought process, liking/disliking the same things being good for compatibility and strength of relation, language is one of those qualities.
In essence what I wanted to say is that love does not get lesser with language incompatibility but language compatibility is just another factor which can make it stronger and enjoyable.
Yes, you can enjoy similar things, share humor and have a lot more in common. I guess its a matter of perspective. Because some will look for similarities and some will look for differences. The dissimilarities will attract them. Does that make sense?
Please see above what I wanted to convey. :)
If I am not mistaken, Faiz wife did have some 'shudh Budh' (understanding) of Urdu and perhaps she spoke some of it too.
Reha: I agree if it is important for someone to have language compatibility then the person should look for someone who has it. Just like any other qualities one looks for in a spouse.
Yup. Bas itni si baat hai. :)
Yes, you can enjoy similar things, share humor and have a lot more in common. I guess its a matter of perspective. Because some will look for similarities and some will look for differences. The dissimilarities will attract them. Does that make sense?
Yes that makes complete and total sense. They will become closer because of their differences and have more understanding of each other.
Yes absolutely! (Paula Abdul song Opposites Attract-comes to mind here)
[Dissimilarities will attract them and for them it will be a good way to keep the relationship stimulating, however, for many people, it will be a constant burden or chore to try to make the point across after initial thrill. Especially if other things like culture/religion and social background is also different.
People start relationship or marriage with thrilling thoughts of living with someone with different language or culture and then after a while this thrill also goes out.
I know even ‘compatible people’ in terms of language may get bored after some time but this language incompatibility is just another factor to add to other problems for many people.
I am being realistic. Lovey dovey stuff all still valid and I am not denying it.
More power to those who keep working out.
Ji Haan, Itnisi Baat thi… :)](“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbknGnZXHUk&feature=related”)
Re: Importance of speaking urdu (insert your language here)
When people get in to relationship out of love and disparity of language etc.
...they are short-sighted.
They do not realize or think what is going to be the predominant language of their children.
For some it is important that their children not only can understand, but speak their own language. For these people, their children not being able to speak their own language (as opposed to their spouses) can be a problem.
When people get in to relationship out of love and disparity of language etc. ...they are short-sighted.
They do not realize or think what is going to be the predominant language of their children.
For some it is important that their children not only can understand, but speak their own language. For these people, their children not being able to speak their own language (as opposed to their spouses) can be a problem.
Some find language secondary and believe Islam is their first and primary concern. As long as they have that as a common ground, they will be fine because Islam is a way of life. I know one couple that speaks two COMPLETELY different languages...they speak English at home to each other and to the kids, they speak both languages on and off. Yeah, their kids will be trilingual...Mashallah.
I guess all Im saying is that language can make it easier, yes. However, language is a method of communication...which can be done just as easily in English, can it not?
For me, I find it important to be able to speak Urdu to my kids and have them speak/understand/read/write it as well. But thats because I love Pakistani culture and our language. Many dont feel that strongly about their heritage.