Just a simple question : Is it ok to ask for a “rejcted rishta” again in desi families? The rishta is rejected by girls family and later after few months/year the boys family ask again? Is is common, or a big no no?
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I don't know if it's common or not but i know it can certainly happen, especially if its a rishta between family friends or families even, where they really want the girl (or her family ties rather). Or if the guy is really in love wiht her.
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Nothing wrong with it.. it depends on how you handle it.
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I think if it is morally and ethically correct than consider it correct in any family system.
If their were any misunderstandings before that can be removed and a fresh initiative can be taken, than i would say go ahead. But if their are still enough garages for each other, than just drop this idea. It might cause some friction between two families later on.
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Agree with sara.
its normal so go ahead... :)
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I've seen it happen, though it's usually from someone else in between who raises the question again to the girl's side, before the guy's side approaches. Certainly doesn't have to be that way.
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Happened with my BIL - my SIL put rishta to my niece - my cousins daughter (who is also SIL's hubby's niece!) and she said NO......
MIL/SIL were all like "kuch nahi, humeh kiya, humeh to bohot achi ladki mil sakhtee hai"etc etc and MIL even went as far as saying to my mum that they will not pick up again what they have thrown out - only she didn't say as politely as that!
Anyway, 15 months later SIL pushes again - as my niece was still not married, didn't like other rishteh being sent for her by someone who arranges rishteh...
This time niece says yes OK - everyone over the moon, keep it hush hush etc....
And then they got married last year.......
That's the only example I know where they've gone back - others haven't persisted...............
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i dont see anything wrong with trying again. some people are just persistent.
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Anyone with any form of self respect and pride will not ask again after having been rejected. If you really want the other person then no harm in trying again I guess. They may just change their mind if you are lucky. Personally I wouldn't.
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notings wrong with it...depends on the circumstances
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i think its fine...ya does seem/feel bit odd but its like when you start with the rishta process u mite have fixed ideals u r lukin for but when u go thru the whole process u do come to realize that one can't get a perfect match or that nobody can be perfect. Hence you might wanna go back to one of the rishtas you mite have earlier let go cuz of some small issue :).
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it depends if its right or wrong
but I have seen it happen
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Well the case is I rejected a rishta a year and half ago, it was a rishta thru a 3rd party, circumstances blabla... So i never met the guy or his family and simply rejected by telling that "istikhara didnt come out well" . Me or my family doesnt have any direct link/contact to this family, i just have seen his picture and thats it. So last week i "saw/met" him and his family at a common family wedding, and i kinda started to dream again "maybe they will start baat chit again since he also is still single". I dont think it will happen, but still there might be some chance since we did reject rishta by telling them that the istikhara didnt come out well and not pointing out stuff about them. Guys im dreaming, ofcourse it wont happen.....
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Oho...Yeh tou ghalat ho Gaya. Maybe if you'r really interested..you can talk to the guy...and also see if the family would still be interested.
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Well, it doesnt really matter what you said about the 'istakhara coming out bad' - maybe your family could start mingling in with the guy's family or guy's close relatives and then within time you may get closer as families and the subject will come up again... also, a third party may be able to help out - i.e. like someone who does rishteh referrals or an aunt or uncle of yours who knows the guy's family...
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^ i agree...in yr case a third party can help alot :p
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well if it really was the istakhaara that prompted you to reject the rishta, why go against it? if you were honest with yourself and respected your gut feeling after doing the istakhara, and you actually believe in the fact that doing istakhara points you towards the right direction, i'd say go with the istakhara.
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Well it depends on why and how the first proposal was rejected.
Personally I wouldn’t consider a proposal from someone who rejected me only because she thought she could get a better partner. It’s not about ego, or what you think of the person in general. The feeling that someone is ready to settle for you because they were left with no better option is enough for me to stay away from such arrangement.
However your case could be different. :)
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Well i didnt reject because i was hoping for someone better, as i said circumstances made it like that. We didnt do istikhara, but the excuse was "istkhara didnt come out well", cause the rishta was perfect but as i said personally problems at the moment was the reason behind rejection. Well i dont think i/family cant talk direct to him or his family. Not sure 3rd party will either. Is there any special dua one can read in this matter? just wondering...
Well it depends on why and how the first proposal was rejected.
Personally I wouldn’t consider a proposal from someone who rejected me only because she thought she could get a better partner. It’s not about ego, or what you think of the person in general. The feeling that someone is ready to settle for you because they were left with no better option is enough for me to stay away from such arrangement.
However your case could be different. :)
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it has personally happenedd to me... my rishta was asked by my khala(mums sister) as there son has lykedd me since childhoodd,,,, he lives in pakistan and i live in london....i said no the last tym they askedd as i number 1 wasnt ready but more than that i was really young and i had as u cud say a dream man in ma mind how my hubby wud be and he just did not fit dat... sorry if i sound rude but i was only 16 at the tym ... we left it on the NO for 4years and they have asked for the rishtaa again as its there sons happiness(khushi) and i have agreed to it and inshallahh i will be gettin enagaged in june so in 5weeks tym.. so it does happen.. its kismat aint itt if they knocking on ur door once again after it was a NO.