im on the edge

Re: im on the edge

may be parents won't come around by talking but if talk really positively atleast they'll think abt it. more over if desikuri stays close to mom, help around the house n b more effective child mom will eventually think"my daughter is the one who comes to my rescue in the end"
n now that we know she lost one brother so may b that's y mom has become more possessive abt her other son n he has become even dearer to her.
desikuri as a girl n daughter n esp @ this age u should be def more considerate towards ur parents. dad going thru depression n mom losing her oldest son. they both need more understanding from u asa daughter.so stop acting like a teen n behave more like a sensible person

Re: im on the edge

^ Yes the thing is instead of taking your advice they will blame you for "thinking that you can tell you parents" Like i said You teach those who are willing to learn. Its futile. I mean the look says it all the "thunder look" desikuri described seals the deal right there.

Pendu........it can also depend on how one approaches their parents. For example......if I approach my parents in a defensive manner....where I'm all huffed up....and I'm yelling at them.....and telling them ALL the things they've done wrong.............they're more likely to get defensive.

However.....if I speak to them very calmly and focus on the positive......and also try to acknowledge their point of view....while calmly presenting my side of the argument...........it might AT LEAST encourage them to think about my point of view.

Re: im on the edge

^red Velvet it depends on the minds of your parents and how conservative they are.

The whole time I never advocated talking rudely with you parents. I emphasized "calm" discussion from the get-go.

Conservative to bahut parents hain.......conservative has nothing to do with being unjust and stupid.

Re: im on the edge

^ Yes it plays a major role in determining the outcome of their decisions.

Re: im on the edge

One can be conservative and still try their best to deal with conflicts in a just/fair manner.

"just" and "conservative" are two different words with two completely different definitions.

The word that YOU are looking for is "backward" mentality.

Re: im on the edge

^ Yes and the thunder look defines it all. I mean some one gave me a thunder look i'd run i'd run away to Vermont! :)

Re: im on the edge

omg what McPendu is saying is a hundred percent true. You cannot tell some parents where you are coming from - it does not work, instead you get blamed for being a stubborn and spoiled child. Period.

p.s. I speak from experience.

Re: im on the edge

maybe, just calm down. Do a dua.. and get ur mum when noone is aorund. Sit down quietly with her and explain to her, like a friend, how you're feeling.

Tell her how it makes you feel. Dont compare urself to ur brother. Dont make her feel as if its her fault. She will become defensive and then it will just go downhill.

I am sure she's probably depressed about ur dad as well. Have you ever sat down and spoken to your mum about how she feels... does she have anyone she can talk to? Become friends with her first.. and then talk about feelings. Inshallah it will get better

As a teenager, I used to believe that my brother always got the upperhand.. and it was just horrible. But it wasnt... it really wasnt. It was just me being a teen. Try being a friend to ur mum.... and ur dad. And see how things work out :)

Re: im on the edge

I actually agree that sometimes trying to make parents understand sitting down and saying this is what your doing wrong is very difficult and doesnt always work.

RV's advice is always great and you dont have to say what she said word for word.

Just the jist of if it and try and get your point across in way your mum understands!

Re: im on the edge

thanks alvena for your advice

i will try to get mum alone and TRY to talk to her, in a calm way.

Re: im on the edge

Hope all works out well for you! :)

Re: im on the edge

thx iggle! :)

No silly. That is not the end of the world. That is the year London host the Olympics:@:

More contracts for the Meer Puris then. Constructions

Re: im on the edge

er wrong industry. Mirpuris have the transport (taxis) covered.

Oh im sorry i meant the gujratis. Do you know 2012?

Wrong again. They provide the snacks. (corner chops). The polish people have all the construction.

2012 in the roman or mayan calender?

Well the mayans predicted through their calender the date that would be our 2012. Can't wait to see what happens. December 21, 2012 End date! Im pretty sure there are a lot of Punjabi speaking peoples that have construction projects going on such as building stadiums/houses/ sidewalks