Hey everyone - Life has settled down a bit…its been almost a month since I got married and thought I would pop on over here to share my wedding experiences with you all since I always found reading about others experiences so incredibly helpful, touching, and often amusing! 
Also there is NO way this wedding could have happened without all the help and advice you guppans and these threads gave me!!!
Mehndi
- I actually opted to NOT have a mehndi! Due to my work schedule, knowing the fact that the majority of my friends and family would not be able to attend due to distance and taking time off, burden of expense and stress of my family, and other factors - it was my decision to forego this tradition… which at first was not taken well by my Punjabi family. But my abu had my back and despite many heated arguments over it…it did not happen ..and I am HAPPY about my decision
Mayoun
- I did have a luvely Quran Khani followed by mayoun function at home which my mother threw for me! We hired caterers and put a tent outside where people could heat. The theme was green and yellow… we strung lighting around the tent, had green plastic table cloths on the long tables and centerpieces were borrowed from a wonderful friend… tall glass vase filled with clear and red stones which held 4-5 long real peacock feathers in place. I wore a yellow gharara which had a little silver embroidery on it…which my khala had made from her local tailor in lahore and my nani brought with her when she came from Pakistan to attend my shaadi. Only jewelry I wore were glass green and yellow bangles! I decorated the inside of the home and made mehndi thaals myself. (see pictures below) It was simple and beautiful. I did my own makeup, i used Sally Beauty Supply $2.00 hair to enhance my actual long hair (make it look thicker and longer) which i put in a braid/paranda. (refer to pic below)
- Ok the things that went wrong with the event..but were not disasters - people arrived super late… so quran khani started late.. and our poor hindu and christian friends sat around and got bored (and hungry). People had to finish the quran khani and then eat dinner before the function started. So i got ready and just sat around upstairs while my sister, friends, and cousins took turns entertainign me and sneaking food and drinks upstairs to me.
- While im waiting upstairs it strikes me that there was no “entrance music” of any sort! So as I am waiting for my grand entrance - i burn a cd and then teach one of my sisters friends how to hook up speakers to my computer and play the music. I give her the task to turn on the music when i tell her too.
- Instead of eating dinner and then enjoying the function - people mobbed the dessert table immediately (which was supposed to be served after dinner) ..so function got even more delayed…
- Finally when the time came (i would be descending down my stairs and going through the foyer then through the dining room to the family room which I had converted to the “Mayoun room”- I handed each girl their thaal (2 little girls in the front, and 8 friends behind them holding mehndi thaals with my sister, 2 cousins, and a best friend holding the dupatta with me underneath them after them). I lined them up and lit each girls candles myself. As I was lighting the last girls thaal’s candles i practically yelled at my sisters friend to run down to start the music..bless her she did and then she ran up, grabbed her thaal from me and descended down. … no one knew about the chaos and the military mode i had gone into upstairs… i looked like a calm and happy punjan in her peela suit ready to get married. lol
- People did the rasms, my sisters and cousins and her friends performed their dance and then majority of the people left!!! Why?? Bc it was really late by then and most people had to drive over an hour to get back home (we live in the middle of nowhere)… they arrived late and then left early. But i didnt care… i had my family and friends and that dholki was played well into the night.
Pre-Wedding Dinner
- So I was the bride who was lived in another city (lets just call it a pind shall we?) and therefore had to get married in another city where there was an actual hall that could accomodate our number of guests and outside catering. This place was 2 hours away. Everyone from the photographer/videographer, baraat, our guests, and even ourselves…all had to travel to make it to this shaadi. Planning it was a beast and horrendous and we decided to throw all of our out of town guests… ours and the baraat a welcome dinner the night before the shaadi at a restaurant. Great in theory but bad in practicality in regards to timing. Even though we woke up early (enough) ..everyone had been up late the night before and tired. It was truly a “shaadi waala ghar” and i had so many relatives staying with us that also had to travel with us!!! Everyone was up and still packing for the next 3 days! Yes..we would be staying in that other city for 3 days…and 2 nights. I had to wait till the last minute to go and get my nails done for fear of chipping of them (and knowing no salon is open on sundays). It was craziness…we as in my khandaan left in 5 cars..including 2 vans. One just loaded with suitcases!
- We naturally arrive later than we plan. We rush to get ready. A cousin of mine offers to help my sister iron her kameez and burns a massive hole through it. We are already late to our own dinner… my sister is in tears..no back up outfit. The hotel had reached its capacity due to the number of guests attending the wedding so some of my family actually was staying in another hotel nearby. Pure chaoss. I pinned her dupatta to her kameez, told her to stop crying and pull herself together and then drove myself, her, and my cousins to the restaurant. My phone ringing the entire time to reach there quickly since SOMEONE from our side should be there to receive our guests and the baraat. What happened? No one reached. We like all arrived literally at the same time!!! My dad and I were probably the only ones truly horrified and expressed it. So yea..we were late to our own event that we were hosting.
- Dinner itself went great..since i didnt have a mehndi my inlaws insisted on bringing some and doing some rasms like feeding me mithai and putting gajre and haar made of roses on me. It was sweet. Everyone had a great time. But we left late… and all i wanted to do was get back to the hotel and go to sleep!
Wedding Day!
- So I was the bride that started the “how to calm your nerves” thread… i had so much anxiety of how to deal with the possibility of the anxiety on the wedding day. Ladies… i can tell you this now from my experience… i had none because I was so organized and everything was so well planned that on the actual day - nothing was hectic. My hairdresser/makeup artist called me in the morning and woke me up at 8am.. she and her team arrived shortly after and I went into military mode again..i sent one hairdresser/makeup artist to my bridesmaid room, another to my cousins room, and the third I kept in my room and called my mom and told her to put on her shaadi ki kameez and get ready to get her hair done. She was kinda stunned but did what I said. And just like that I organized it so that total of 16 family members and friends of mine got their hair/and or makeup done and were all ready by 3pm. Everyone had an itinerary sheet that I had made … i told all of my khandaan to keep one on them, all of my bridesmaids (i had 8), the Hyatt manager, all the vendors.
- I hired ABCi for Video/and photography and they were AMAZING to work with…so kind, natural and fun. I felt so at ease around them and they did their job well and professionally.. we remained on schedule! I can’t wait to see my highlights video from them
- So my shaadi was in Buffalo, N - but my video/photo people were from Toronto, Canada, I hired MandapKing from Connecticut to do my stage, and Shalimar from New Jersey catered my food. Crazy right??? but i recommend ALL of these vendors.. they did an UNBELEIVABLE job!!! Baraat came from Boston, MA.
- My dress was stunning… STOPPIT from GS recommended the designer MALAIKA ADNAN to me and together we designed a dress so gorgeous ..mashAllah. It was pretty in pictures..beautiful in real life…stunning when I put it on. I am so grateful for both! (refer below to see pic of dress). I had combination of red and dark teal. I opted for traditional short shirt but nontraditional ballgown style lehngaa with a ton of ghair and it also had a luvely train in the back (which you can not see). My bridesmaids wore matching dark teal saris.
- I did my own makeup since I am part time makeup artist and know my face the best. The products I used varied alot but I did use Bobbi Brown stick foundation which GINA recommended and it was amazing…flawless results as she had promised on here.
- Half of the centerpeices were homemade…we bought branches that lit up with lights from Bed Bath and Beyond ..spray painted them gold and put htem in a tall glass vase. The other centerpeices were fresh flowers
- We decided to buy golden tablecloths since it was cheaper as opposed to renting them.. crazy i know.
- ABCi told me i was the first bride they filmed doing her own makeup. haha. I told them there is always a “first”.. Everything went smoothly mA… my bridesmaids were with me in their matching saris… all of my family members wore purple… the effect was stunning.
- My girls stayed with me during cocktail hour and we just chatted and relaxed in my hotel room. Then the hyatt manager moved me into the room directly across from the hall after the baraat had entered and the doors had been closed. The nikkah happened with me in a separate room. But omg…i thought there would be an emotional moment for me and my parents but instead they were so stressed about everythign happening in a timely manner that when I signed the nikkah papers they didnt even give me any luv! No hug and no kiss! Later on i was like you guys ruined the video!!! hahahaha. My dad told me he was nervous bc he didnt really know what his role was or what he had to do duirng a nikkah..that he had forgotten his own and that he usually dozed off during others… typical my dad. haha. I had to laugh at his comment.
- I thought at this point I would be anxious..walking into the hall. But nope… the imam’s khutbaa took so long that I got bored and then irritated and then i just wanted to hurry it along and all the anxiety went away. I kept looking to see if my parents would come in for me.
- The song “Aaya Tere Dar Par Deewana” - started playing loudly and my bridesmaids entered the hall 2 by 2 holding a golden decorated thaal that had red rose petals in it. When the singing part actually started, my parents walked me into the hall…and I was smiling My hubby was the only one on stage… we walked halfway and then stopped. He then got up from the stage..walked down from it and then down the aisle and met me and my parents at that halfway point. My dad gave him my arm and he and I walked the rest of the way up the stage. My parents took their seats. As we walked the rest of the way upto the stage, my bridesmaids threw rose petals on us and then took their seats once we sat down!
- When we were on the stage- the song changed to “Meri Behna ki Shaadi” and my youngest brother who is only 11 walked into the hall holding a golden pillowcase holding the rings…he walked all the way upto the stage. I had told him to not get off until we had the rings and he could walk down with the pillow…beychaara stood around as first I struggled to untie the rings from the ribbon and then my husband struggled. AWKWARD!!! haha. My mom came on stage with scissors and problem was solved… hopefully ABCI will just edit that part out hahaha.
- We exchanged rings to “Shaadi ho Tumhaari Mubarak” and then immediately after cut the cake and fed each other and our parents.
- Then my best friend made a short speech and i started getting choked up and then my favorite brother made a speech and i started crying buckets on stage. Even now thinking about the words he said… makes me tear up
I am so lucky mA to have an amazing family. - After this i dont know what happened at my wedding. Hubby and I were whisked away by ABCi for our photoshoot …first i touched up my makeup and then the pictures were taken. haha. I missed dinner…dessert…mingling with guests..everything. By the time we got back down ..the crowd had really thinned out. This is my BIGGEST REGRET - NOT MINGLING WITH MY GUESTS I didnt even get to personally thakn people who had traveled such long distances to attend my wedding. Not even see them. It was a sunday wedding, people had to travel…so they left early which was understandable.
- We took all of the mandatory family pictures on the stage and at this point i was starting to feel unwell…i had not eaten since breakfast and i was starting to feel faint and nauseaus. My sister had snuck a granola bar in her purse for me so I ate that in between pictures …so there i was …a dulhan eating a granola bar on the stage… koi haal naheen. My brother was sneaking up and giving me sips of orange soda in between as well during the picture process.
- When pics were over… i wanted to just have my rukhsati ..so that i could drive around the block and come back to the hotel and eat my meal. I was getting annoyed at what the hold up was. Found out that that my family had locked themselves out of their hotel room and that is where the quran was and shawl was. In our family during rukhsati u drape a shawl over the bride to keep nazar away. in the meantime someone found someone (obvi someone REALLY religious) who carried a quran on them at all times. It really small but it got the job done.
- People kept stepping on my train which was annoying …i had my husband on one side and my dad on my other… as we took the escalator down to outside the hyatt i started getting very emotional … this was the end of my parents responsibility of me. I was crying loads. I didnt care about makeup. I didnt care abotu ABCi …and when I saw my dad get teary eyed…and he told me in my ear that I was his life. … well lets just say I just got tears in my eyes again.
- I got in the limo…and my hubby was laughing at me when the door closed and we went away… we had known each other for almost 5 yrs..this was a long time coming! Plus after driving around for a few blocks - the limo pulled up back to the hyatt..where the manager had a secret entrance for us …where we could get into our honeymoon suite without anyone seeing us. It was fantastic… manager was so nice…he had sooo much food waiting for us and sodas of all sort in our dining room. I didnt even take off my jewelery..i just started eating.
**Brunch
**
The following morning I got up again at 8am…the same hairdresser came and did my hair for the brunch. It was a formal event for which I wore a gorgeous hot pink maxi and the khandani jewelery which had been passed down from daughter to daughter since my Great-Nani. So it was wonderful to wear that jewelery. I did my own makeup again …my only regret is that in my rush I forgot to put on mascara!!! Forget about fake lashes…i didnt even put on mascara!!! Ufffffff. But anyways…again me and the hubby did not eat anything..i literally had taken 2 sips of my tea when I saw the ABCI people and convinced them to take more pictures of me and my hubby. Since it was daylight we took advantage and took some fantastic shots outside..some im sure which would be too scandalous to show the family …haha..this photoshoot ended up being more than 2 hours long. When we got back only our families remained… they said bye to us..i was not as sad as the night before because I knew I would see them soon again at the Walima and plus I was just so exhausted. My inlaws left as well..with all of my suitcases to drive back to boston. Luckily we had the room till 6pm which is when our flight was. No driving for us. We changed into comfortable clothign..realized i needed a carryon..i called my sister…she drove back and quickly threw her stuff in shopping bags and gave me her suitcase. Then we realized that one of my suitcases which I needed immediately was in my sister in laws car and she was driving to NYC …so we called them and they drove back and exchanged a suitcase with one in my in laws car. It was chaotic. After everyone FINALLY left (or so we thought), We relaxed..ate lunch..watched tv.. and then packed up and left for the airport. We had a long layover in NYC ..on purpose bc my inlaws wanted to reach Boston before I ..we had dinner at a restaurant at the airport. It didnt even felt like we were married… still felt like we were dating. Except now i had more diamonds on my fingers. haha! When we reached Boston, I changed into a sharara in the airport bathroom, put on heels again and gold jewelery..asksed a random stranger to zip me up and waited with my hubby (who was annoyed bc jet blue lost his suitcase) to be picked up. We got picked up..it was almost 2 am… and thats the end of this kahaani.
Oh so I forgot to tell about the “so we thought” part. Turns out my family went to leave but realized that they did not have enough cars to bring all themselves, their suitcases, the gifts they received, the leftover food, and ALL the decoration peieces back…(which I had brought upto the hotel a week before the wedding). They had totally forgotten about the decorations. So my poor uncle who had flown from the UK for this shaadi took a taxi to the airport, got a rental car - they loaded it up and then called one of my brothers to drive back (its a 2 hour drive) and he came and then drove that rental car back to my hometown… turns out they left Buffalo at 8pm… we left the hotel at 5pm to catch our flight… craziness. haha. weddings…are hectic. But im glad that the actual day was not that bad. Everyone keeps telling me how much they enjoyed themselves and how organized and beautiful everything looked. The Hyatt people themselves told me that they have never had such a well organized desi wedding at their hote before…and they have like 3 a week in the summer time haha. My shaadi was completely on schedule…nothing started late…nor did it end late… which is amazing. Food was served on time! If only i was a guest and actually attended my own wedding! haha. [/list]
** Will have to save the Walima story for tomorrow since it is super late and I have to go to bed!
The parts of your rukhsati and those with your dad made me teary eyed too since my own rukhsati is close.
last ruksati part brought tears on my eyes i felt like everything is happening around me MASHALLAH u looked stunning on mayoon love the setup lovly shadi dress want to see ur walima pics as well .. i am so happy everything turned out well ALHUMDULILAH MAY ALLAH bless both of you have a wonderfull life ahead AMEEN.