Fashion Diva,
It's better to rent a house in PK instead of living with your family!! They don't have the right to give you tanay.....They dón't have the right to ruin your holiday!!
Everytime "Gores"" go to holiday they come back with smiles on their faces and a beautiful skin colour...all coz they enjoyed their holdiday!!
but when we "Pakistanis"" come back....pale complexion....head full of tensions we got from our family in PK....
So enjoy your holiday in PK with the ones you like...
Wonderz1, your story is very tragic and saddening, and I totally fail to understand why your father did that to you people.
Fashiondiva, seriously why do you have to live with your relatives when you are in Pakistan. Better rent a home.What sort of people treat their relatives like that:(
Yes the best advice is to stay in separate home. In Pakistan the houses on rent are easily availble and they are not even expensive.
Secondly you do not have to tell your relatives and take them with you when you do your shadi shopping. Tell your mom that you do not want to go with them coz you want to avoid their taanay and saving them from the bad they feel when their choice is rejected. go for shopping only and only with your mom n sisters etc . And again you do not have to inform the whole world abt what you bought.
I know this type of relatives. Its the kind impossible to make happy. They are never thankful to you. Will never ever appreciate you, no matter whatever you do for them. If next time they say that they gave you tv to watch and their house for stay, tell them that okay Allah will reward you for it. THATS IT. do not let them control you plz.
And wonderzzz... three cheers to you. Be strong and independant. Do not rely on anyone, not even on your dad.
Firstly, Wonderz1, I'm so sorry that your father put you and your siblings through all that. I can imagine you had some very tough years, but remember, Allah tallah never troubles you with more than you can handle and everything happens for a reason. Put yout faith in Allah tallah and pray to Him and ask Him to help rebuild your life, inshAllah, He will. I wish you an immense amount of goodluck and I hope one day, all your dreams come true, inshAllah..
Fashion Diva, it seems to me like your relatives are a little jealous? Irrational behavior such as theirs is usually due to this reason. The thing with jealous people is that they are unreasonable and no matter what you do it will never be enough. They will always find something to criticise, complain about and something to bring you down to their level..
Thankfully, you say you have since bought a property that you will now be living in when you visit Pak. So that solves one half of the problem. As for them interfering in your Engagement/Wedding arrangements, just tel them that you don't want them to worry and especially now with Ramadan, you don't want them doing any running around so you have already planned everything and it's all sorted so there is nothing left for you to do. And then just sort everything yourself with the help of your Mum and your Fiance and his family. Good luck with everything..
Relatives want you to live with them.. let them want all they like
I dont care how nice relatives are you should never live with them be it a month or 2 weeks because even the nicest ones become extra mean thinking they are doing you a favor
They dont want you to have your own place because they think its an insult to them and people will say oo they rented a place their relatives did not let them stay over.. but you need to be strong
the next time you are going you are going because of your shaadi rent a place dont tell them and when you go live there say your father rented it and for the shaadi he wanted a place. Say ull come over often.. you dont have to go over but say it.
Erm guys..if it was so easy for her to get a seperate place when they go dont u think they would have done it a million years ago?
One of the problems she ponited out is how the mother "forgets" everything as soon as she gets there... which means, she forgets all the bad stuff they do and decide to stay with them....if the mother wont care for how her children are treated, then, well, what can u expect?
