*There is nothing haram about your feelings, because it's not your fault. Allah gave you those feelings. As long as you don't do something unIslamic, something haram with your feelings, everything is oké. * You have to make sure you don't do something you aren't allowed to, and everything will be fine. You will have to accept the fact, that life for you will never be like everyone elses. Eventually you will find strength and happiness in your life in your own way. I certainly hope so. :)
They once showed a documentary here about Gay Muslims. They have their own helpservice. Perhaps you could find something like that where you live. I think they know probably much better what to do and how to handle everything and maybe you'll meet someone in a similar situation. It helps to talk to people who really understand you.
And if other Pakistanis make issues out of your gay feelings, then ask them, if they were ever attracted to someone they weren't supposed to be attracted to, like a non-mehram for example. If they are honest, they will say yes, most people have before or even after marriage once or perhaps a few times been attracted to someone they shouldn't have been attracted to. But as long as they fight it and don't do anything unIslamic with those feelings, it's oké. Allah gives everyone all kinds of negative and positive feelings, but it's our actions, what we do with those feelings, that's really important I think.
Great post, having the 'gay feelings' of course isn't haram (after all a person can't help if they aren't attracted to the opposite sex or can't get aroused by them) but homosexual actions are. I think OP said he hasn't slept or had a physical relationship with a man so far so I don't see he has done anything wrong from an Islamic pov. I read somewhere that a man who has these feelings and is able to resist gets an immense reward, I'll have to dig up some references later but if the OP is genuine he should defo try and stay strong, I wouldn't wish this sort of problem on anyone, what happens if he takes the so-called 'easy option', gets married and can't feel any attraction to her at all or can't 'get it up' or be intimate with her? Some people make out it is some easy thing that can be controlled but imo it can be far from that :(