Re: I'm attracted to my Phuppo's son
T
Because marriages are painful and downright torture if you don't marry someone compatible that complements your behavior and matches your values and your morals and I feel like I have a better chance at accomplishing or reaching that type of person if he's someone I know.
fair enough.
But You are trading your comfort with health/physical-well-being of your future children.
Re: I'm attracted to my Phuppo's son
I just found out today that his father in his later stages in life is beating my phuppo with a belt. He never did such things when they were younger She is known to be quite strong minded but very conservative. My father was speaking to family members that are close to my phuppo and found this out because she confided in them. I was totally shocked. If his father is like this now, it makes me scared to think that his son is like this too. The father seemed so gentle soft spoken and kind hearted when I met with them. It's like jekyl and hyde, how scary is that.
Re: I'm attracted to my Phuppo's son
I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but in all honesty if he's seen his father do it to his mother most likely he has that in the back of his mind too (even if he doesnt seem like it). Honey, don't torture yourself like that, he might not be the one for you. I pray that Allah helps you make a decision that works in your favour :)
Re: I'm attracted to my Phuppo's son
Game changer ehh...welll you are the best judge in this situation. Why dont ya ask this chap if he will beat his wife too?. If he cannot probably stand up for his father beating his mother...well good luck with that rishta. I say..you take the nearest exit, run and neva look back...
Re: I'm attracted to my Phuppo's son
You already have doubts about it and with this red flag the decision shouldn't be hard.
Marriage is not the end of all the life's worries even if you have the most compatible partner.
Regarding the risks, stats are there but no one can predict the future.
And someone who base their life decisions on what non-desis would think is just beyond me.
Re: I’m attracted to my Phuppo’s son
The bit about his father being abusive toward my phuppo was a rumor spread by a really gossipy aunty so I don’t even know if this is true or not now. I did istikhara at the time several times and I got this image or something similar to this 
but in all green the next morning and felt so at peace when I saw it in my dream. What do you guys think it means? I really have not told anyone my feelings for him.
At the end of the day..you are best judge of the situation. When people here telling you "red flag" ..may not be red flag for you. Investigate..investigate. If there is one thing i learned after what i personally been through...to do thorough investigation before proceeding. Go out..have coffee..and talk...and see where life takes both of you...
Re: I'm attracted to my Phuppo's son
Marriage has so many other issues, why add one more for life where you will be on the edge all da tam!
Re: I'm attracted to my Phuppo's son
At the end of the day..you are best judge of the situation. When people here telling you "red flag" ..may not be red flag for you. Investigate..investigate. If there is one thing i learned after what i personally been through...to do thorough investigation before proceeding. Go out..have coffee..and talk...and see where life takes both of you...
What's a delicate way to investigate without them finding out about it? They might see it as insulting if they find out I've been asking around about their son and them. In an arranged marriage, how is it done without believing something that's purely hearsay or rumors that might not be true
Marriage has so many other issues, why add one more for life where you will be on the edge all da tam!
What issue are you talking about that will cause me to be on the edge all the time? ive mentioned a couple things that's why i'm asking for a clarification.