My name is Amelia Khan. I am a 25 year old british girl. My mum is white english and my dad is a british pakistani. Growing up me and my brothers were never given a religion my dad is just muslim by name. My mum and dad only got married 2 years ago. We are a western family.
Growing up i never looked into my dads religion or culture. I visited pakistan once when i was really young. Recently in the last year or so ive researched into Islam more and i decided to become muslim.
with converting to Islam i need to leave my old life behind. I still smoke drink party wear revealing clothes and i have a boyfreind therefore having pre marital relationship. I want to change but its not easy ihave no one to teach me about islam.
My boyfreind is a British born pakistani. He like my dad has only been born a muslim. He drinks and as mentioned before we have sex regularly as he lives with me on my parents house. After embracing Islam i learnt this was haraam however when i said this to my boyfriend he just said dont worry im going to be your husband one day so its fine. My dad doesnt see anything wrong in this.
i really dontknow much about Islam and my pakistani culture i joined this forum to allow me to meet more pakistani muslims. My dads family dont speak to us and my boyfreinds family hate me as my boyfreinds mum caught me and him in bed together and therefore she will never approve of me being her daughter in law. I really want to stop doing so much haraam acts. Earlier tonight i was speaking to my boyfriend about this and he just said stop stressing out there’s nothing wrong with what were doing.
i was hoping to make new freinds here. I am happy for you to private message me or email me.
Islam requires believers to come into the faith 'completely. that means you have to do what Islam enjoins you to do and stop doing things that it forbids you to do. this is Islam [total submission to Allah Almighty].
a believer is not permitted to hover in the 'grey area' or to move in and out of the Islam.
your boyfriend is totally wrong when he says that pre-marital sex is a OK. well, it's not. you have to make a firm decision whether you wanna do Haraam things that you have been doing or just stop it completely right away and ask your boyfriend to either go along with you or find someone else who sees his way.
I want to be very honest. Your post is kind of spooking me out. Whom are you in touch with, what influenced you to become religious, what are your motivations?
Just remain calm. There is no urgency or compulsion in Islam. Make sure no matter what you think, what questions you have, whether you get full support or not, do not hide anything from your dad and boyfriend. Yes they may not agree with you, but those are the only people you should trust.
No hurries to change anything. Take your time and move very slow
I want to be very honest. Your post is kind of spooking me out. Whom are you in touch with, what influenced you to become religious, what are your motivations?
Just remain calm. There is no urgency or compulsion in Islam. Make sure no matter what you think, what questions you have, whether you get full support or not, do not hide anything from your dad and boyfriend. Yes they may not agree with you, but those are the only people you should trust.
No hurries to change anything. Take your time and move very slow
And keep posting here
I became interested in Islam after i started questioning the purpose of life i have no muslim freinds the only muslims i know are my dad and boyfreind. My grandma (dads mum) when she died she left a quran for me and since then i started looking into it. I am no where near a proper muslim i still go about my life as per normal but i just want to know more
Of course I believe you may not have openly declared your new found faith. This becomes a requirement later on when you are ready to embrace Islam (as your way of life and lifestyle) until then keep learning and share your learnings with your boyfriend. Try to reduce the acts that you know are forbidden. And if you generate real worry and concern your boyfriend will detect that. However, I must say that you need to be sure that he will actually marry you, coming from a point of view that many non-practicing Pakistani boys will have relationships, but will only marry the girl of their parent's choice. His reassurance of marriage should be taken with caution, not suspicion but caution. It may be his way of continuing in the status quo. Islam provides marriage as a legal way of protecting the interests of two people, but unfortunately pre-marital sex does not place any real obligation on the male. It is considered an imbalance. So he should marry you before you allow him to come close, but I understand that may not be entirely possible since you already have a relationship. So the best advice is make him aware of his obligations not as a Muslim but as a human to start investing in your future as a couple. By the sound of it he is living in your home - I hope he is paying his rent plus more. It is not reassuring for a lady to have to house her boyfriend.
In your own free time try to spend more time with a new group of friends that you should slowly become familiar with, if they urge you to stop doing things immediately they are not the right sort of Muslims. In fact it is better not to be too open with them about your unlawful acts. Keep yourself annonymous and for advice it is better to keep yourself in shadows.
I like TLK's advice. Don't be in a rush to convert into Islam. Take it slow, and learn about it, and see what does and does not work for you. Try to learn the reasons behind the rules, and understand that Islam is not a rule-book as it's often made out to be by current "scholars". It's a very spiritual experience actually.
One scholar I'd like to point you to that doesn't get into all these "You can't do this, and you can't do that, and all that you ever knew is all Haraam", is Hamza Yusuf. You can look up his lectures online and read his books. He's knowledgeable, and teaches Islam as a spiritual experience rather than a set of rules you need to follow dogmatically.
I will not call it to 'convert' rather i'll call it 'revert' to the Islam. You'll learn and explore many things on each and every steps so no need to go for things hastily. Give yourself some time and start reading/learning gradually. Here you'll find many among us who will be happily provide you assistance.
Also I would like to add that once who reverted to the Islam accept it with Shahada (declaration), on the same day his/her all past sins (considered in religion Islam) will be forgiven.
May Almighty Allah guide us all to the right path. Ameen.
The story of Bibi Rabia bint Ismail Basri Rehmatullah Eleh is a good example for Ladies, she was a descendant of Hazrat Ali Karam Allah Wajhu, she was born in 717 AD in Basra, Iraq. in a very poor family, her life story is very fascinating exemplary, she was sold into slavery but her faith in Allah Subhanahu wa Taala was unshakeable! one of her famous Prayers was:
O God! If I worship You for fear of Hell, burn me in Hell
and if I worship You in hope of Paradise, exclude me from Paradise.
But if I worship You for Your Own sake,
grudge me not Your everlasting Beauty!
