In highschool and university I watched Pakistani girls, mostly, walk this fine line between slut and virgin. Pakistani guys wanted to sleep with them, the “slut” part came in there, yet some of the girls really liked the guy and tried to play the virgin part too. Both were the truth, both were charades, none of the girls are happy now, last time I checked.
Anyway, I was listening to this song by Berlin, called Sex (I’m A…) I think it illustrates perfectly the polar extreme roles women have to play. The chorus is a “duet” where the guy keeps saying “I’m a man” and the woman says the following everytime he says I’m a man:
I’m a man… I’m a goddess
I’m a man… Well I’m a virgin
I’m a blue movie
I’m a bitch
I’m a giesha
I’m a little girl
I’m a boy
Well I’m your mother
I’m a one night stand
Am I bi
I’m a slave
I’m a little girl
I’m a teaser
Well I’m a virgin
drug, slave, dream divine, hooker, slut, YOUR babe, you get the point
I just found it interesting that women wear so many hats and men wear, well just one.
It's pretty true, I've seen a lot of acting in school, at university, etc. It's usually done to protect their image since that is what is most treasured in our culture. Whether we like it or not, a girl's 'izzat' is basically her reputation and other peoples' opinion of her. I'm talking generally here, respect from the 'community', not self-respect. I can't say that I've seen the same type of acting done by women from other cultures, probably since they don't need to put up a facade to satisfy the community/cultural/religious expectations from them.
The facade carries on into every aspect of life. If you can lie about something like that, I'm sure these people put on other facades too ... which is where the unhappiness comes in. They aren't being true to themselves or those around them.
I'm not sure if this qualifies as men having multiple sexual hats but you have men (including desi) sleeping drinking clubbing generally livin the life but go home and do the saint peter routine. Plus when its time to get married they only want a shareef gharelu 5 time namazi wife. Not saying theres anything wrong with expecting such a wife but its only fair that you be as pious as you expect someone else to be.