So after months of being obsessed with ovulation charts/ sticks/fertility window etc, things came to a bit of a head this week and I have decided to throw everything out and just see what happens.
I ended up taking myself to the GPs this week as i had convinced myself that there was something physically wrong with me!
I was sure that my ovaries had shut down or there was a physical obstruction or maybe cos I’d been on the pill for a while I had messed my body up permananently! Hubby thought I was stressing a bit too much over nothing!
Anyway the GP calmed me down and then recommended I go for therapy!! I was like what the hell??? (hubby was like ’ yeh kis museebat mai phas gayee ho??)
So I came home after spending ages crying my eyes out in the car- but having said that now that I have spoken to someone and cried it all out I feel so much better!! it’s like I feel so much lighter and calmer.
I’ve come to the conclusion that too much information is a curse- I’m too quick to take the negative and attribute it to myself!!! I’m going to avoid ovulation sticks/fertility websites and take some time out (at least for a few months).
What are your views? Am I wasting precious time (bear in mind I am in my 30s)?
Afshi, I know how you're feeling! Like you said if it happens it happens, and inshallah it will (hopefully sooner rather than later). In the meantime, lets just look after ourselves and enjoy what we have at the minute. Once we have kids these days will be long gone and any 'meor couple time' along with it!!!
Good luck and I'll keep you in my duas. xx
i hear ya about all this free time we have! i'm trying to put it into good use by volunteering, going out with hubby, having "me" time...cuz with kids..its hard to have spare time.
Get all the travelling you want to do, done now. I've replaced all my fertilty stuff with tons of travel/holiday brochures- it honestly is so much more fun to look at and read. lol!
somewhere hot and sunny beckons!
^ Another one in the same boat here. Was getting fed up of spending a fortune on all the ovulation testing sticks, and taking a million different pills every day. Am off to Istanbul next week instead!
Too much information in my opinion does cause us to have system overload which eventually literally takes you to breaking point-I've been there. Never again.
My advice? You know a lot about fertility windows/ovulation/fertility boosters etc so you'll know stress causes havoc. If you cannot see yourself taking off a few months from the ttc game, just keep baby dancing without the trimmings.
We actually concieved Mashallah on the cycle I was not charting on. It was my first cycle after around 8 months of pure stressing whereby I changed tactics. I tried to cut the stress, and only baby danced as we wanted, rather than having a chart telling me the best time.
I just wanna say ...when u stop obsessing about a baby ...that is when the baby comes.... provided you do not stop praying... the one month that I did not think of having a baby ....is the month I got preggers.... and alhamdulillah... I didn't even know I was preggers and took a trip, wore heels, was walking and enjoying myself.... had I known that I was preggers I doubt I would've taken that trip....and that trip only made my hubby closer to me...so Allah works in mysterious ways.... and ultimately His are the best ways....
For all you ladies..... I tried this and alhamdulillah my prayers were answered.... I read somewhere that during ramadhan make a list of 10 high priority duaas that you would like to have answered by Allah....now for 30 days every time you stand for tahajjud.... especially the last ten days constantly repeat these duaas.... and inshAllah you will be granted coz you will have been persistent and you will know and Allah knows that these are the things that you really really really want.. try it ...
plus .... pressure of wanting to make a baby really kills the fun in intimacy.... just too much pressure on u and the partner.. relax...and don't forget to read the duaa before getting intimate ....that has a very powerful meaning...
may Allah bless you all with healthy happy naik aulaad aameen
Thanks Automne 77- I totally agree with you, we have no idea what is in our best interests in the long run. Which duas would you recommend? I've been reading Surah Maryam regularly but nothing else specific. I'd really appreciate if you could let me know.
Thanks!
ah Saheli, i can relate! i'm in the same boat you are- i've stopped stressing, i'm taking it easy and iA when it has to happen, it will. i've made peace with the process.
Saheli, just don't give me hope, and Inshallah things will happen. There's loads of duas out there-have you spoken to an Alimah for advice on wazeefahs?
^ I'm not sure if you are willing to consider this but on facebook they have a group called "ask Alimahs that are your age" where you can post questions of email them privately-the options there if you want to consult them (sorry I'm not plugging it mods it's just they are on facebook!).
^ Another one in the same boat here. Was getting fed up of spending a fortune on all the ovulation testing sticks, and taking a million different pills every day. Am off to Istanbul next week instead!
one more in the same boat i went to doctor have some medi but nothing worked out but thnk god i m calm n relaxed n enjoying my life fully........... n still hoping to get good news soon inshahallah....................someone told me some duas to read regularly.........
firstly from 9th day of ur cycle strt fasting for seven days n at iftar time read 10 times al musawir on glass of water ,drink half water urself n give half to ur hubby n befor intimacy read al mutakbir few times.........the person who told me this thing also did this for 3 months n thn finally she conceived
n the most important thing is to ignore ppl around u if they ask u about baby............ in the beginning when someone asks me i used to get upset............ but now i have become straight 4wrd n i tell them that dont worry whenever i l get pregnant i l definetly going to tell u i m not going to hide this..u just pray
all the best to everyone may GOD bless everyone...............