Just a general question:
If your own mom is not fair to your sister in law, can you trust her advise when it comes to your spouse/inlaws?
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
no i wont be able to trust my mom. And i wont let her be unfair to my SIL either.
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
Key rule is, if your mum had a troublesome relationship with her inlaws, she is going to have a colored view on yours as well. In such cases, a mouse can easily be turned into an elephant. I think when you seek advice from anyone, parents, friends, siblings, you need to be cautious about following their advices.
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
Can you trust your mom? It's possible to do so.........because........parents tend to look out for their OWN kids more. Of course there are exceptions, but your mom has a deeper bond with you than she does with your bhabi. The issue here is that she doesn't practice what she preaches.
Sometimes when we are called out by those who are very close to us, it can encourage reflection of our mistakes. I love my parents, but I let em know when I believe they're in the wrong. Obviously your mom's behavior bugs you, or you wouldn't have created a thread on it. I suggest that you talk to her GENTLY about how you feel about her actions.....maybe remind her of a lil something called "karma" and how she wouldn't like it if her own daughter (you) wasn't treated well by in-laws.
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
Obviously nothing can shake one's trust in their parents, especially in the mother. That being said, once you are married, you are no more a doodh peeta bacha. Allah has adorned all of us with necessary sense and sensibility. The problem with the mothers' advice is that sometimes it can be too emotional as it originates from their motherly love that wants the best for their children and their protection. But, giving them benefit of doubt for their love for you and keeping the balance on your part should be the key.
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
My mom had a lot of trouble with her in-laws. She treats my bhabi really well. Better than I have seen anyone else treat their DIL. And she never gives me any advice regarding my in-laws. Alhamdulillah my in-laws are really good, but even if something small comes up, my mom doesnt offer any advice. She believes that once a girl is married, she should try to work out any issues with ILs/husband on her own. Of course if the issues ever got out of hand, that would be different.
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
:k:
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
My mom had a lot of trouble with her in-laws. She treats my bhabi really well. Better than I have seen anyone else treat their DIL. And she never gives me any advice regarding my in-laws. Alhamdulillah my in-laws are really good, but even if something small comes up, my mom doesnt offer any advice. She believes that once a girl is married, she should try to work out any issues with ILs/husband on her own. Of course if the issues ever got out of hand, that would be different.
thats really good! if all moms were like that!
i know of a girl who tels her mother every godfreakingdamn detail about her married life and IL that is is sickening!! and her mom is the worse person in the world to give advise as they both get together and bash the IL....its incredibly disturbing! i just wonder how this woman will treat her on DIL, when time comes!
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
My SIL is actually not a very good DIL for my mother. My mum still treats her like a princess, but I really don't think she deserves it
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
My SIL is best bahu of the world. my mom and she get along very nicely. many people believe that she is not bahu but beti of my mom. she is very nice. she always makes my mom happy.she never complains anything. on the other hand. we also treat her like our sister, and never give her tough time. :@:
bhabhi rocks.
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
My SIL is actually not a very good DIL for my mother. My mum still treats her like a princess, but I really don't think she deserves it
your SIL is also posting the same on some other forum :D
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
hey…thats what happens in life1 too…
what a coincidence
Re: If your mom is not fair to you SIL then?
Just a general question:
If your own mom is not fair to your sister in law, can you trust her advise when it comes to your spouse/inlaws?
Yes I can.
Only after my mum realizes where she was wrong, tries to mend things up with the sil, the sil then forgives her (if she does) and eventually mum promises to try hard not to repeat over the mistakes she's managed to make in the past. If she doesn't, well, then she's in for some games.
I'm evil this very way, I know. Fun thing is, she knows I am. So yea, I expect her to understand and make do. :-)