If you want to avoid someone

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Ok i have a friend who asked me for a suggestion but i have no idea what to tell her so i would like to get advise from here

she is engaged…she and her fiance always have argument and when her fiance is angry he says what ever comes in his mind…after his anger is gone, he behave like nothing happened…She said she always think that she will avoid him and would like talk to him for few days which will be a good lesson for him but she always end up calling him on 2nd day…because of him she cant concentrate on her studies …she cry very easily when ever he blame her so say something stupid like i dont deserve a stupid girl like you etc…and yes the next day he would say sorry but then she said its very difficult for her to forget

so she was asking me how to avoid her fiance for few weeks ? she thinks maybe she dont talk to him for few days that would teach him a good lesson.

how to take him out from her mind? she always think about what he said to her …

how to teach him a lesson so he wont say something stupid again…

2

Re: If you want to avoid someone

Dump him. that should teach him to stop being such a douche.

3

Your friend should not expect her "fiance" to respect her if she doesn't respect herself.

Her fiance treats her like crap and calls her names...repeatedly. Yet your friend continues to call him and can not stay away from him for even a week. That's the classic example of a woman who has low self esteem and zero respect for herself.

Whether your friend stays away from this guy for 2 days or 2 weeks....what difference does that make? She's still going back to him. If she honestly thinks he'll change permanently just b/c she doesn't talk to him for a few days or few weeks, then she's fooling herself. He'll "behave" until the next time he's angry.

What will your friend do once they're married and he gets angry and calls her names? How will she avoid him when they're living together and sharing a bed?

The best way to teach this guy a lesson:
As Sara already wrote....dump him. Your friend needs to improve her self esteem and start to respect herself.....and then find another guy who treats her with respect.

4

Re: If you want to avoid someone

thanks sara and Paheli. well when she told me about it, first thing came from my mouth was dump this guy but then she said no i love him blah blah blah

I dont know why she is such a fool..why she want to jump in the fire

well she told me usually he is very nice and caring but sometimes he is like that. She said most guys are like this and girls have to compromise...

well i told him its better she doesnt talk to him anymore and see what he will do ..

I also advise her such guys would never change so why not just dump him..tension khatam but she dont want to listen...nothing else came to my mind thats y i thought to get advise from here

5

I've been with my SO for almost 2 years....we have disagreed on different things over that time and there are times when he gets angry/frustrated with me. Yet he has never lost his temper with me or called me names.....not one single time.

I'm sure other guppies who're in a relationship or marriage can vouch for that fact that most guys don't call their gf/fiance/wife "stupid" or make other nasty comments when they become angry.

Sadly, if your friend honestly believes that above statement, then she'll never get out of this situation and you can't help her. No one can help your friend if she's not willing to help herself.

6

Re: If you want to avoid someone

stop talking to him for a month..that ll teach mr. macho ..

7

Re: If you want to avoid someone

Does she really Loves him ? And he Lover her ??

Izzat har kisi ki apna hath hoti ha ...

Your friend should defiantly try to cut him off and tell him why she is cutting off ( other wise it might get worse )

8

Getting rid of him good should be lesson enough......he won't be around to ever say something stupid again.

Seriously, I imagine the engagement is like the best or most romantic part stage of the relationship (considering how stressful weddings can be).......but this guy is showing his true colors BEFORE marriage.......do you really think he's going to change after marriage?

Right now it's easier for your friend to "avoid him for a few days or weeks" because she's living with her parents. But after marriage....she'll be living WITH HIM under the same roof......and she won't always be able to "avoid him for a few weeks". Instead she'll just have to deal with it. If she does not have the sense or courage to get a BETTER life for herself..........then there's nothing that can be done. It all depends upon her will-power to let this guy go and develop some respect for herself. There's no shortage of guys. And it's not a "daagh" on her character if she breaks the engagement. It's much easier to break an unhappy mangni....than to deal with an abusive marriage or divorce in the future.

***People don't change easily....and bad habits (like raging temper) don't go away easily either. Instead of looking for short-term solution of only a few weeks for your friend.......she needs to think of a long-term solution because this is her future she's dealing with.

***Do her parents even know about his behavior? They need to know. No parents would bind their daughter to such a loser...nor should the have to spend so much time and money on a wedding...when their daughter is so miserable.

***There have been several threads where engaged girls are encountering such problems and their parents have no idea. It's sad that one can't even turn to their own parents for serious matters like these...a lot of future heartache for bother the girls and their parents can be avoided. Is it the strictness of our culture regarding girls....that may be causing this apprehension?

9

after all this she still want to go on with this moron???

10

itnaaa ghussa

but she loves him

and love is blind ;)

11

Give him the taste of his own medicine?
When he comes to say sorry, dont forgive him. Instead, blame him for the things he said to her and walk away telling him to set his mind straight and than talk to her. Or else he should find someone else.

12

Re: If you want to avoid someone

I hope Im wrong...but in a year or so...there will be another thread on how he verbally abuses her.

At that point, no one will have any sympathy for her because she asked for it.

Men like this dont change their ways...this is who they are and will be. Its best to walk away now rather than later when its too late.

13

Not true… most guys do NOT say such mean things (like I don’t deserve a stupid girl like you :eek:) when they have disagreements. Your friend has it wrong.

14

Re: If you want to avoid someone

He is just a fiance not husband . She might need to contemplate over it before going in to a marriage .

15

they are heading for rocks..and if this is how they are during engagement imagine wha will happen after shadi sorry to say this but i don’t see much hope.

i have seen 2 cases like that one, one coupe got married but ended up getting divorce and other are still engaged and miserable like hell for past 10 year. IMO the couple who seperated was better off than the ones who are stuck in poisnous realtionship for last one decade :smack: