I know someone that makes a lot of money. This person is a doctor and very successful in her private practise, Mash’Allah. However, her husband doesnt know how much money she makes. She doesnt tell him and makes out as if she doesnt make that much money. She doesnt think she needs to tell her husband how much she makes, although he has told her. Not only that, but she sometimes pretends that she is worried about money, eventhough she has plenty to spare, which makes him worry.
Now the question is, is this ethical? Would you hide how much you earn from your own spouse? Is this common behavior? Because I find it to be highly unusual and would really like to know just how common this is. Thanks.
Wow, talk about major trust issues going on. I mean, if she can’t confide in him about a major thing like how much she earns, I wonder what “white lies” she tells him about minor stuff? I can appreciate that she may even be earning more than him but hiding her income from her spouse no less is just not right IMO.
Reminds me of a joke my cousin in pak always used to say.
"A guy only ever lies twice in his life, once to his girlfriend, he tells her he earns more than he actually does, and the other time to his wife who he tells her he earns less than he actually does"
I think you should always be honest (to the wife that is, not the girlfriend :p)
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*Originally posted by dutch_paki: *
but apparently alot of pakisani women do this, but thats cuz their hubbies dont want to send money to girls family :)
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Why should the guy have to support the girls family, especially if she herself is earning.
I detect.... either a paranoid woman..
or a woman whos smart enough to know telling her husband will probably risky....
Either way a marriage is based on trust and honesty.... this behaviour isn't common and I certainly would never trust my husband again should he hide something from me...
Re: If you made a lot of money, would you hide it from your spouse?
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
I know someone that makes a lot of money. This person is a doctor and very successful in her private practise, Mash'Allah. However, her husband doesnt know how much money she makes. She doesnt tell him and makes out as if she doesnt make that much money. She doesnt think she needs to tell her husband how much she makes, although he has told her. Not only that, but she sometimes pretends that she is worried about money, eventhough she has plenty to spare, which makes him worry.
Now the question is, is this ethical? Would you hide how much you earn from your own spouse? Is this common behavior? Because I find it to be highly unusual and would really like to know just how common this is. Thanks.
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Munni, did you try asking her the reason for hiding her income, it could be that she is making more money than her husband and she doesn't want him to feel uncomfortable by knowing the fact that she is making more money than he does. I am assuming, some guys can take it personally if their wife is making more money and this can lead to some further problems in the relationship.
I guess, husbands feel proud when their wives ask for the money, isn't cute? may be not! hehe
PS: Just my two cents, apparently I dun have enough guts to prove myself right but it was just a thought that came in my mind by reading your post.
yaar if seen from a certain point of view the culture we are brought up in if a wife makes more than the hubby the hubby becomes inferior and this is wat brings **** in to relationship i saw a family brk apart for this the husband was a computer engineer and the wife a DR and she started makin more then he did and darn ego issues started and bam finally the lady gave up and now things kinda r better but well my point is by hiding this there are 2 things in advantage for the wife
the hubby feel she is dependant on him and blaah so his ego is in place and she makes money happily and
she can spend money on anything she wants thats wat my aunt does watever money she makes she buys stuff she likes whereas uncle pays the rents and utilities and normal expenses and luxury is her department :k:
If you made a lot of money, would you hide it from your spouse?
My answer:
I would not hide anything from my wife. Whether it is my income or anything else. It´s really a weird kind of relationship between that lady doctor and her hubby.
Good Question...My Opinion....I may even hide it too....or you may say would never come out with the correct amount....As someone said...'whatever i would earn would be hers'...so why go ahead & announce my aristrocracy....
But then i am not that sort of a person,who would take money from others including the spouse(as your friend does) ....or would shout my bankruptcy, every now & then,even though i am carrying a lot of it in my pocket....
Besides i would never like to create an inferiority complex in my wife(or vice versa in your friends case),only based on MY LOT OF earnings....
read the thread yaar, the question is not IF she/you woud hide when she/you will earn. but only **would ** you hide it
besides that, u should know that often pakistani women are house wifes and men work. the men send family to their familys, but dont want to help the girls family often
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*Originally posted by Goliko: *
Good Question...My Opinion....I may even hide it too....or you may say would never come out with the correct amount....As someone said...'whatever i would earn would be hers'...so why go ahead & announce my aristrocracy....
But then i am not that sort of a person,who would take money from others including the spouse(as your friend does) ....or would shout my bankruptcy, every now & then,even though i am carrying a lot of it in my pocket....
Besides i would never like to create an inferiority complex in my wife(or vice versa in your friends case),only based on MY LOT OF earnings....
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Her husband doesnt take money from her, nor does he ask her for it. She does not see the money as "theirs". She sees it as "hers". An example. I went to a party with them, and upon giving a gift to her mother, she said the gift was from "her", and not "them" as a couple. When he gave a gift to the parents, he said it was from "them" and not from "him". I personally think thats the best way.
Her husband doesnt take money from her, nor does he ask her for it. She does not see the money as "theirs". She sees it as "hers". An example. I went to a party with them, and upon giving a gift to her mother, she said the gift was from "her", and not "them" as a couple. When he gave a gift to the parents, he said it was from "them" and not from "him". I personally think thats the best way.
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Actually .... what i got from your initial question was that we were talking about your friend ....rather than that of her husband.... that instead of she making a lot of money .... is not happy with IT......And most of the times is found complainig of her having lack of it .....
Now there isn't any question regarding her husband asking any money from her....but intead ofcourse it is vice versa....i.e she complaining of lack of money & even trying to ask for some...indeed with a lot of it in her pocket .....
The above behaviour that you are telling is new for me.... & indeed i didn't get it from your initial comments.....& ofcourse it is very derrogatory....
