Re: If you have a problem with your spouse…
depends on the situation. I can only answer from a Man’s perspective.
I would keep things b.w the husband and wife, unless the matter requires advice, and then I would find a good local masjid who has a good qualified Imam (degreed person and not self proclaimed Imam) and have a personal discussion in private to get advice. If the husband agrees then I would go with him to seek the advice. Have a patient and open discussion about the issue.
Surprisingly, more and more imams are now giving pre marriage counseling to prospective spouses before they will Unite them in Nikkah/aqad.
If all fails, then I would talk to the mans parents to give him advice.
A friend of mine who is from indian descent and brought up in US, married a white american muslim convert. They have had tremendous issues, however, when ever the sister has spoken to the mans parents, they have listened and given her encouragement as well as their son advice to be patient with her.
I know this may not happen in desi families.
Also lots of supplication (dua) to Allah swt at night…