Where does that leave single people? For example, a woman who was married to a terrible man for several years so she wasn’t able to obtain any reward from allah during her marriage because if the constant fights. Then when she is divorced, again how would she obtain any reward? It is so easy for a married couple to get reward from allah. The simple act of holding hands ia considered sadaqqa. It is very easy for a man and woman, who get along, love one another and generally have a good relationship, to continue to receive reward from allah. A couple in a bad relationship won’t, because they fight. Again, after a divorce, you are unable to complete half your dean because you are single. Is there any reward for enduring hardship as a single mother? How do you get all those rewards that married people get easily without even thinking about it as a single person?
Re: If marriage is half your dean, then…
The Prophet (saw) has said “whoever Allah blesses with a good pious wife, has helped him in half of his deen, so let him fear Allah in the remainder of it” (reported by Al-Hakim)
In another hadith, it is said “if a person marries, he has completed half of his deen, so let him fear Allah in the other half” (reported by Al-Bayhaqi)
So, I don’t see that a married person has advantage in gaining reward, rather he has been helped by Allah that he got married and now he is less susceptible to commit sins that arise from sexual desires as compared to the unmarried person. So, he should be thankful that he has a Halal way of fulfilling his desires and fear Allah in other matters. It is for this reason that the adultery of a married person bears a more severe punishment.
As for the single person, the Prophet (saw) has said “O young people, whoever among you is able to marry, he should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, it is recommended to fast, as fasting diminished his sexual desire”. So a single person can make up for the reward by fasting and also save himself from sin. Let him save the “half of his deen” by fasting.
A man who is patient with a bad wife or a woman who is patient with her husband will also get the reward for their patience. If a divorced single mother sacrifices her sexual desires and abstains from marriage for her child, then her reward is much higher than a mother who is in her husband’s home and has the husband to look after her and the child as well.
Re: If marriage is half your dean, then…
Is there any information on the rewards for divorced women or single mothers in islam? I can’t find anything. I honestly want to beleive you that the reward for single mother would be greater than a woman who is married and a good wife to her husband, but why can’t i find any information about divorced women in islam? All the information i see is that if a woman passes away while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter paradise. This leaves me so hopeless that even my prayers won’t count because my husband is always displeased with me (for unjustified reasons because he is extremely petty and critical).
Re: If marriage is half your dean, then…
well, Allah created Paradise for good people. You still looking for reward in this stupid world for a 70-odd year life ?
Leave the granting of rewards to Allah, He knows and will take care of it.
As long as you’re making effort and trying to do ur best, you needn’t worry. Do Tasbeeh and Zikr of Allah as much as you can. It will help give you patience
Re: If marriage is half your dean, then…
-
My understanding is that when a woman becomes a mother, her status becomes elevated in Islam. A mother is a mother is a mother. It doesn’t matter if she is single, or divorced, or widowed.
-
There are many ahadith on many aspects of our life. You are only focusing on marriage. If success in the next world depended solely on marriage, then what about those that never married? Or how about those that are happily married, but commit other sins? And it takes two hands to clap. There is also the hadith where the Prophet SAWS said that the best of men is the one who is best to his wife. So, if your husband has not been the best to you…then does that mean he’s doomed? We don’t know. But the point is that he also has a responsibility to treat his wife well and to meet her needs.
You are not just a wife. You are also a daughter. What kind of a daughter have you been? If our parents are unhappy with it us, it can carry grave consequences in the next world. You are also a mother. What kind of a mother are you? Do you love your children and take care of their every need? You might also be a sister. What kind of a sister are you? What kind of a neighbor are you? The point is that being a wife is not your only role. There must be ahadith on how about the rights of parents, about the rights of your neighbor, about the rights of your children. Remember the hadith about the woman who went to hell just for torturing a cat? She may even have been married, she might even have been a decent wife…but it was an animal that landed her in trouble. There is even a hadith where the Prophet SAWS was asked about the fate of 2 women. One of them was not regular in ibadat but was kind to everyone. The other one did all her ibadat but had poor manners when dealing with people. Even though namaz is huge pillar of Islam and it is said that it will be the first thing we will be questioned about in the next life…the woman who was irregular in ibadat but kind to people was said to be among those who go to Jannah.
So even though namaz is said to be the difference between a kaafir and Muslim and is one of the 5 pillars and is mentioned in Quran so many times…even a regular namazi doesn’t have a guaranteed ticket to heaven.
If we believe Allah to be just and fair, then we have to believe that He will look at situation from multiple angles.
-
Have you considered the possibility of there being nazar on your marriage…or perhaps magic, etc? If so, then it can be removed. I would suggest that you pray istikhara namaz every single day…until you reach a firm decision. After doing the istikhara namaz…read the istikhara dua…and ask Allah that if this marriage is good for you…then to make things easier for you…and if this marriage is not good for you..then let it come to an end. And then try your very sincere best to make the marriage work…and if despite your best efforts…it still results in divorce…then take that as Allah’s will and move on.
-
There was a video where someone asked a pious person, a shaykh what he should do for his marital problems. And he was advised to recite durood in abundance. One huge benefit of not working…is that gives you a lot more time to do ibadat. So, recite as much durood as you can each day…as well as istighfar. There are so many benefits that can be reaped from istighfar and they are mentioned in the Quran. Keeping your mind occupied in dhikr can calm you down…and in the process…it may even provide you with the mental clarity to figure out what you can do to resolve the matter.
Re: If marriage is half your dean, then…
Mr armughal and redvelvet have given excellent answers to your questions in their posts, however I think Sister most of your questions will also be answered if you read about or listen to the story of Hazrat Rabia Basri Rehmatullah Elahe available also in youtube:
Masha Allah She lived an exemplary life, and her grave is in Jerusalem…
the best example of her devotion to Allah SWT is indicated in one of her prayers :
She prayed:
O God! If I worship You for fear of Hell, burn me in Hell
and if I worship You in hope of Paradise, exclude me from Paradise.
But if I worship You for Your Own sake,
grudge me not Your everlasting Beauty.[6]
Re: If marriage is half your dean, then…
70. Patients from Sahih Al-Bukhari translated by M. Muhsin Khan - Hadith (Hadis) Books
If Allah wants to do good to someone he afflicts him with trials
How to Forgive Those Who Have Hurt You, Even When It?s Difficult