Re: If marriage has so many problems then why do they marry ?
Being a veteran in this area compared to many people on this forum, here's my analysis.
Marriage is important for social order... yeah throw rotten tomatoes at me but, just imagine if none of us were married, we'd be uncommitted and in the hospital every second month for various issues ranging from sexual to mental disorders. Marriage is sunnah...as much as I try to keep religion away, it's not possible. There is blessing in marriage.
So a lot of emphasis is placed in marriage. When I was a young girl, I too thought that parents want to get rid of us but now that I have children of my own, I can understand that after education, etc etc., I would want my daughters to be married off to their husbands so they can enjoy the blessings.
So why can't we have a normal life without getting married... oh yes we can by all means. I have a couple of family members who never got married for whatever reason, and they are both well settled, happy and healthy. So yeah sure you can survive. But my question is that if you have the opportunity to get married, why refuse it?
Why all this chaos about marriages not being what you expect them to be and all that? Why so much analysis? Why so much speculation? And then, why so much expectation? I see young girls getting into marriages with the expectation that their in laws will be mean, or their husbands will be nasty... so much goes into the planning of a wedding that the focus from marriage is shifted. When reality strikes, it's a big surprise that marriage is yet another relationship and like any relationship, it requires a 100% effort from each partner.
No, husbands don't bring in your breakfast tray in the morning on your bed of roses and carry you around the house and write messages in their blood on the bathroom mirror claiming their eternal love...and no wives aren't supermodels or insensitive aliens or vacuum cleaners that should suck up every piece of crap their comes their way. But the journey is beautiful if you decide to make it work.
So that's all I have to say. Where's my coffee?